An insult to popular fiction

I remember when, as a kid, people would look at the Stephen King novel in my hand and say something along the lines of "You know that's junk fiction, right? No merit at all, and poorly written." And I agreed with them, to an extent. However, since this book came out, I've started to look at King's "Paranoia" as if it was the best book in the world, because this series is terrible.

First of all, the writing style reminds me of the fan fiction of a middle school emo girl. "He was perfect, and she was ugly but he loved her anyway for who she was even though she wasn't anyone really" basically sums up every description made about any character in the book. I mean, honestly, the only good way to read this thing is to take a shot each time Meyer refers to Edward as perfect.

Moving on from the lack of consideration to the mindless repetition of the same description words, Meyer goes on to totally disregard grammar. The number of run-on sentences is impossibly too large to count, as are the hanging fragments. "His perfect body." Yeah, that's a sentence in the book. Talk about good writing, eh?

Finally, Meyer totally discards any intention to have a discernable plot. For almost the entire book, the plot doesn't exist- it's just a girl meeting a vampire. At the end, there kind of develops a plot of sorts, but it's resolved within a chapter, and the plotlessness quickly comes back.

In these books, it seems that any "problematic situations" are resolved instantly, and don't really hold any value. Honestly, I don't even understand hw this book was published. It's a fan fiction (and a lemon at that) in book form. Do not read this if you care for literature or don't have a drinking game ready to go with it.