Forbidden Planet - Sci-Fi Books & Films!
For the Discerning Sci-Fi Fan!
Dark Shadows

A 2012 movie directed by Tim Burton based on the supernatural soap opera

< read all 12 reviews

'Dark Shadows' 'Two Jews On Film' Show Their Teeth Over Johnny Depp's Campy Performance (Video)

  • May 10, 2012
Rating:
+3


By Joan Alperin Schwartz

For those of you, like myself, who aren't familiar with the television series 'Dark Shadows' which ran from 1966-1971, here are the film's cliff notes...
The year...1750 (give or take)

A wealthy young man named Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp) gets it on with his maid, Angelique (Eva Green) who just happens to be a witch...She feels the love...He...not so much.  Witch gets pissed...Turns Barnabus into a vampire, locks him in a coffin, which she then buries deep in the ground.

 Still not satisfied, Angelique kills Barnabus's one true love, as well as his parents, and then, she spends the next two centuries destroying the rest of his family.  This is one witch with major anger issues.

Now, let's fast forward to 1972. For those of you, too lazy to do the math...two hundred years have past....Thanks to a group of construction workers, Barnabas is released from his coffin.  He thanks the workers by eating them...


After quenching his appetite, Barnabus makes his way back home...But his super sized mansion known as Collingswood, is not exactly as he remembers.

 The once grandly estate is now dilapated filled with old furniture in need of a good dusting, a dirty chandelier and...the Collins descendents...who are in no particular order...

Matariarch, Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer)...her rebellious teenage daughter, Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz), Roger, (Jonny Lee Miller), Lizzie's bum of a brother,  his precocious 10 year old son, David (Gully McGrath) who has conversations with his dead mother. 

This unhappy little group also shares their home with victoria, the nanny (Bella Heathcote) who happens to look exactly like Barnabas's dead soul mate, a caretaker, Willie (Jackie Earle Haley) and a live in psychiatrist, Dr. Julie Hoffman (the fantastic Helena Bonham Carter).

Okay, so Barnabus arrives home, meets the clan, shares his secret identity with Elizabeth and gets to work restoring the family to its former glory.

 Of course along the way, he must deal with televisions, lava lamps, women doctors, mini skirts, pot smoking hippies, and everything else that was part of the 70's culture...including a Alice Cooper and a happening.

Oh, there's one other small thing...Angelica, the love sick witch, is not only alive and well and running the town of Collinsport, but she still has the hots for Barnabus and will do everything and anything to make him hers.  

'Dark Shadows' directed by Tim Burton and written by Seth Grahame-Smith (Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer) is a  fun, campy and visually beautiful film.

 Does it have some problems?...Yes...I felt Johnny Depp's performance was one note and at times, the film felt stuck between two or three different genres.  But having said that, I still enjoyed it and  gave it 3 1/2 bagels out of 5.

John, on the other hand...did not share my opinion.  Check out our video to see his throughts.
'Dark Shadows' opens in theatres Friday, May 11, 2012.   
'Dark Shadows' 'Two Jews On Film' Show Their Teeth Over Johnny Depp's Campy Performance (Video) 'Dark Shadows' 'Two Jews On Film' Show Their Teeth Over Johnny Depp's Campy Performance (Video) 'Dark Shadows' 'Two Jews On Film' Show Their Teeth Over Johnny Depp's Campy Performance (Video) 'Dark Shadows' 'Two Jews On Film' Show Their Teeth Over Johnny Depp's Campy Performance (Video)

What did you think of this review?

Helpful
6
Thought-Provoking
6
Fun to Read
9
Well-Organized
6
Post a Comment
May 12, 2012
I am off to see this in a few hours. Will be back to comment further after I've seen it.
 
1
About the reviewer
Joan & John Schwartz ()
Ranked #3
My husband (creator of the cult classic films FACES OF DEATH) andmyself (actress/screenwriter) are ex New Yorkers, see alot of films and usually disagree. So our friends decided that we need a review … more
Consider the Source

Use Trust Points to see how much you can rely on this review.

You
2_TwoJewsOnFilm
Your ratings:
rate more to improve this
About this movie

Wiki

The first photos from the set of TimBurton’s Dark Shadows adaptation have surfaced online and they reveal Johnny Depp looking about as creepy as you would expect him to look in a Burton film. In case you’re unaware, Dark Shadows sees Depp making a turn as Barnabas Collins, a powerful playboy who is buried alive in the 18th century only to reemerge in 1972 as a vampire who is none too pleased with the ruin of his once fine piece of real estate.
Check out the set photos and an official synopsis after the jump. Also starring Chloe Moretz, Helena Bonham Carter, EvaGreen, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Lee and Jackie Earle Haley, Dark Shadows is slated to hittheaters on May 11th, 2012.
Click over to Celebuzz to check out more Dark Shadows set pics [click to enlarge]:
dark-shadows-set-photo-johnny-depp
dark-shadows-set-photo-johnny-depp-2
dark-shadows-set-photo-johnny-depp-1
Here’s the official film synopsis:
In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas (Johnny Depp) has the world at his feet—or at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy…until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). A witch, in every sense of the word, Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then burying him ...
view wiki

Details

© 2013 Lunch.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
Lunch.com - Relevant reviews by real people.
Forbidden Planet - Sci-Fi Books & Films! is part of the Lunch.com Network - Get this on your site
()
This is you!
Ranked #
Last login
Member since
reviews
comments
ratings
questions
compliments
lists