FADE IN: Spoiled brat Brit Marling is driving home shitfaced listening to the exposition on the radio when she sees Another Earth in the sky. CUT … more
I quit watching the latest Pirates movie to watch this. I have no idea what that film was about and why Penelope Cruz still gets acting work. Utter, utter waste of time. Margin Call is tightly written … more
Probably the worst thing for the USPS is that it's controlled by Congress, giving them no power to determine their own fate or profitability. In a classic example of how the Federal Government can … more
It's not that I hate Kim Kardashian so much as a toxic media culture that enables these kind of shallow, vapid avatars to thrive. It seems like there's no end of Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans … more
Featuring my new Express Review Format™ 1. The first 45 minutes is slow beyond words. The funniest person in the film - Terry Crews - is only there for about 30 seconds. … more
Holy shit! I'm still awake after watching this?! I've tried Valerian root, exercise, visiting testicular cancer support groups, shooting my partner in Alaskan fog and now I've endured … more
It's the new super-sexy Express Review format that celebrates A.D.D. Paul is the worst comedy of 2011, if not the worst film, period. I didn't fall for the "two British guys … more
There's only one major studio in Hollywood today that delves into the complexities of mental disorders and their effects on both patients and their families, and that's Disney. After the heartfelt … more
In this new Lunch.com-exclusive review format, I'm focusing only on the things I thought were important without rambling on and filling in every blank. In brief, the winning formula here is important … more
This is my new express review format since there's more to say about TV commercials these days than most films. It's a super-sexy new format that will help you save time, get to the good stuff, … more
So I've heard this song for about the thousandth time in the gym this week which is amazing considering how little I've been in the gym. If you're one of the 5 people in the country who haven't … more
Unknown might be the most preposterous movie of a year that most films decided to stop suspending disbelief and let it rest on the floor for a while. Common sense is left to drown in a sea of movie … more
Excellent Canadian Avril Lavigne takes an emo-focused and boyfriend-related spin on the world economic crisis with the instant modern classic, What The Hell: You say … more
Internet phenomenal, scourge to society or mirror to human civilization? Who knows but one thing's for sure - you haven't lived until you've tried to sell a sofa on Craigslist. … more
If you go to Fort Morgan Colorado, you will find the grave of master essayist Philip K Dick. If you listen carefully enough beyond the wind blowing through the trees, you'll hear a faint whizzing … more
You know how it is - a quick walk in the park on a sunny day and you realize you've forgotten your Frisbee. It's a common problem and unless you have a 12-pack from the sports section of … more
Microsoft's ship is currently being helmed by Captain Jack Sparrow seeking to dump shitloads of moolah into uncharted territories. Avoiding some of the more obvious steps such as: … more
There are certain memberships that I'm embarrassed to admit owning but at least Blockbuster Video doesn't have a shot at running the country. Who would have thought that "It's hard out … more
There are certain things I frequently hear that don't surprise me - like "Twitter is down" or "Donald Trump has soiled his reputation again" - while others just demand checking … more
Thank God for some good news for a change. Interestingly enough, both Hitler and Bin Laden were killed on May 1. The world is better for his absence. God bless the troop who pulled … more
Boost is one of the latest products from Google that makes me think I should start shorting their stock. Designed as a simple way for small businesses to get into Google Maps advertising without understanding … more
We'll be interspersing this reviews with real comments from YouTube and Forums, so be prepared for some adult language. Well, we're almost at the end of the second season … more
One of the certainties of 1989 was that every teenager had a crush on Paula Abdul. You can still hear the echoes of the collective groan when Ms Abdul gave us a hint of her fleeting grasp of reality … more
Three-act structure? Character arcs? Forget all that Syd Field nonsense and start cranking out scripts using James' 10-step movie making method. STEP 1: FIGURE OUT YOUR WITTY … more
Much like a Disney bluebird, another $10 flutters away from my wallet, serial numbers flapping while Alexander Hilton stares out at me coldly. Tangled is a triple-threat to my attention span, simultaneously … more
Amazon yesterday released their Cloud Drive and while it's not apparently very different to Microsoft's Skydrive or Google Apps file storage, is nonetheless a major step in the direction … more
Given the utter state of despair in the movie theaters currently, I've turned to both food and the Food Network to console the disillusionment I feel when I see utter, utter shite like The … more
Given Hollywood's penchant for mixing two existing films to make a new one, here's an idea for a sequel to Inception. Think of it as Nightmare on Elm Street meets Inception - kind of bit more … more
Due Date is possibly the nastiest and most unpleasant film experience of the year, consistently confusing comedy with cruelty, and it may continue to rank as one of the cruelest films of all time (at … more
Tony Scott has watched too much MTV in his life. There's a massively over-used camera shot which I'm sure he created but you see it everywhere now - the video is sped up, slow-motioned, given … more
One of the stranger trends in modern TV programming is the requirement to have a British person yell insults at people who think they have talent. American Idol, Restaurant: Impossible and Kitchen Nightmares … more
Calling all reality TV junkies! Face Off contains everything we've come to expect from trashy TV competitions: Mean judges Weekly elimination Endless … more
Global phenomenon? Yes. A scourge of every day life? Absolutely. Here's why you should follow my example and pull the plug on Zuckerberg's narcissistic ego-porn site. … more
If you've been wondering what that recent rumbling has been in newspapers and blogs recently, it's the enormous response to Amy Chua's article "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" … more
Yep, it's a Lunch Public Service Announcement: get a $20 Amazon gift card for $10 - but today only. There's no catch - they're just buying customers (naturally there's only one per person … more
Ghost reality TV is big business, and the show format has quickly cemented a formula that makes most of these shows hard to tell apart: 1. Find "locals" to provide authentic … more
Calling Sarah Palin "divisive" seems like an abuse of the word, when you almost have to create a new word in the Urban Dictionary to describe her. Maybe to go "Palin" as a verb would … more
For any doubters of the active pulse of The American Dream, I give you Ahhhnold. Forget the wooden acting and quite frankly bizarre voice, and you've got someone who's so iconic that we'd … more
Caprica is one of the most intelligently thought-out series that SyFy has ever produced - which isn't saying much these days, since it's fallen into shows like Fact or … more
Renee Z plays a hard-working social worker with a heart of gold (is there any other kind in Hollywood?), whose equally nice best friend (Bradley Cooper) is trying to get her in the sack. Oh dear - we … more