ugghhh it still burns my brain this has a fanbase.... despite there being less than ten of them!

A city or maybe the entire world has been infested by a zombie outbreak. The undead rules the streets by devouring whoever crosses their path. While the carnage takes place; three groups of people barricade themselves in their apartment dwellings with hopes of somehow surviving the zombie apocalypse.-summary

Misleading advertising at its finest. Do not be fooled by the compelling cover art on both sides of the DVD case or trailers, which depicts this as a no holds barred, knock down drag out bout with the undead. For the most part, that is not what you get at all. The zombie outbreak is merely a backdrop for three separately told stories, that have very little to do with the zombies. As I've mentioned in plenty of reviews in the past; I'm very flexible when it comes down to an on the fly transition; therefore, the lack of zombie action wouldn't have completely been an issue. Unfortunately,  the three stories were so boring that I was tempted to toss on either Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis or Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave, in order to satisfy my need for a coherent story(imagine THAT, turning to THOSE TWO for coherent stories). Now that's what I call desperation.

Directed by Blaine Cade and Jason Horton. Edges of Darkness seems to be a collection of ideas, that utilized a zombie catastrophe as an attention getter to fatten up these anorexic stories. The stories are interwoven with the main storyline, which is very similar to Trick R Treat directed by Michael Dougherty. Personally, I feel these stories should have been delivered in a single story anthology, or separate movies with an ample amount of background, minus the undead for two of the stories. The zombie backdrop did far more harm to the films success, because many people are going to come into this wanting to see lots of zombie action, and they are going to walk away feeling burned, and it just doesn't help either that the main stories can't carry the movie.

One of the stories takes place with a young married couple. Dean(Jay Costelo) is the husband, who is completely obsessed with being on-line. While his wife Dana(Alisha Guddis) is upset due to neglect. This is by far the most boring and stupid of the stories here. The acting is incredibly stale, plus listening to Dana gripe and fantasize is about as fun as gluing your hand to a hot iron. Dean is just plain annoying in every way imaginable. The ending for this story is so ridiculous that I actually can't describe it with words or pictures.This portion of the film doesn't even qualify as horror to me. Instead, more of a sci-fi, and a very weak sci-fi for that matter. There is zero atmosphere and zero tension, with the zombies posing no threat at all. Why inject a storyline of any sort in a zombie universe, if the zombie setting is not going to be used? I don't see the point. If this was meant to be a character study, then the writers missed it by a mile because these characters are too unbelievable. If it was meant to be scary, then it was missed by a light year.

Another story involves an African American couple, with a habit that no one could ever see coming. I won't dare spoil a bit of the main plot here, because this is actually the most interesting of the three, but it fumbles on its execution as well. There are half asked questions, that are answered with half asked questions. The zombie world is used slightly decent here, because it helps develop some of the mystery behind the main characters of this story, named Stan(Alonzo Jones) and Stellie(Shamika Ann Franklin), but the zombie angle could have been better used. The acting was bad as well, and I kind of believe Stan wasn't acting. Pretty much only playing himself. This part could have been a lot better had it been given more thought, better acting, and a solid story.

The final portion of the story actually begins this retardation inducing drivel, with a woman who saves a mother and child from a zombie attack. This portion of the story is the only one that takes place with the zombie plague, but then again, not really. There's another plot taking place that also leaves unanswered questions as well. The main character who is not even named does deal out some damage to the zombies. That's another thing also. It would have probably helped if the main character actually had a name. That couldn't have had anything to do with my lack of enjoyment right? Hahahaha, OF COURSE NOT. You know what? I'll give her a name. How's Jill?

I can't forgive Jill walked across town without meeting any zombie retaliation in a movie about a zombie holocaust. So much for a zombie holocaust, huh? However, I will give it some credit for a very disturbing scene, even though I saw it before it happened. Oh my goodness... the strongest scene in the whole damn movie was predictable as the sunrise. Wow, these guys have talent. This segment with the nameless girl (now named Jill) also uses a religious overtone, that I believe was only tossed in there at the last minute for soon to be cult fans to say," you just didn't get it" or "it's really deep". It's not deep at all folks. It's the same age old question that has been asked maybe a million times before this and in better ways too.

The special effects are bad with some very weak gore scenes, and the ending leaves the possibility of a sequel. Well I won't be waiting for that. In fact, I'll give Uwe Boll's next disaster a watch before that, or even this for that matter. Edges of Darkness is a movie that was developing a very, very, small fan base only because it's not Hollywood spawned. And oh yeah, because it had potential also. Can you believe something like that? Those are actually the worst arguments really. Hell, let's just four and five star all films then, because they all have some type of potential. You remember the last piece of shit you saw? Give it a FIVE because it had potential!... such a lame fuckin' reason I just can't roll my eyes enough.

I hate this movie. I wish I could rip this apart in more languages than two. Yes, Hollywood has its problems, but shit like this is not the answer. People believe when something is created from a small budget it's automatically great. People believe when something breaks away from unoriginal ideas and attempts to be original, then it's automatically brilliant. And they also believe when individuals like myself reject this tripe; we need big explosions, a stellar cast, or we just don't get it. Funny thing, those exact same individuals are the first ones to run out and see Michael Bay movies. So who really needs the big budget stuff huh? Not I said the penguin.

Edges of Darkness is schlock, and it's not even good schlock either. You can watch this shit backwards and it will make no less sense. This garbage has been receiving the backlash it rightfully deserves. Shit like this is a waste of time, both mine and yours. But the funny possibility I can't shake, is that I see this reaching cult classic status one day due to all seven of its fans hailing it as the most thought provoking zombie movie since the original Dawn of the Dead. Most garbage does happen to obtain that title by the easy to please masses, who have no trouble at all hopping on a band wagon with square wheels. I can list some examples but those are hateful bashings for another day. I only recommend this to the die hard b movie fanatics and those who can watch a cheap, and awful film, and deny its complete ass only because it came from some indie label.


Pros:
After all that, do you really believe I can think of anything noteable?

Cons:
-Too many to actually summarize