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reviewed Scottish Proverbs. March 22, 2013
Scottish Proverbs
Befitting any spirited soiree, postprandial repose or protracted lull upon one's laxative throne, this slight compendium of apothegms sublimated by the characteristic concision of Scottish vernacular …
reviewed Mamma Mia! (movie). January 26, 2013
Mamma Mia!
Doubtless, this execrable thing is among the most repugnant motion pictures that I've seen: a fatuous, psychotically overrated, criminally galling celebration of concentrated idiocy. If the stage …
reviewed Doggiewoggiez! Poochiewoochiez!. January 26, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Doggiewoggiez! Poochiewoochiez!
   Assiduously assembled from thousands of found canine clips, this third DVD by renowned video rapists EIT posits an astonishing remake of Alejandro Jodorowsky's surrealist classic …
reviewed James Bond 007: Skyfall (2012 film). November 22, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
'Skyfall' Starring Daniel Craig and Directed By Sam Mendes
PROS: Gamboling maliciously as this flick's nefarious hacker, bleach-blonde Javier Bardem tickles a viewer's imagination with playful homoerotic intimations and histrionic harangues Despite …
reviewed Dracula A.D. 1972. October 27, 2012
Dracula A.D. 1972
Quoth Christopher Lee:   "I stopped appearing as Dracula in 1972 because in my opinion the presentation of the character had deteriorated to such an extent, particularly bringing him into …
The Fearless Vampire Killers
Months ere Robert Evans lured him to the New World to collaborate with aging B-lord William Castle in production of his breakthrough horror classic, Roman Polanski somehow cajoled Filmways and Cadre to …
reviewed Targets. October 17, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Targets
Released to theaters in the culture-quaking aftermath of two historic assassinations, Targets couldn't be expected to generate a substantial box office profit. Peter Bogdanovich's second theatrical feature …
reviewed Motel Hell. July 22, 2012
Motel Hell
Travelers who find lodging at the remote Motel Hello are treated to the delicious beef jerky of Farmer Vincent (an aging Rory Calhoun), proprietor of both the inn and a popular line of smoked meat products.  …
reviewed Syntax. July 16, 2012
Syntax
Any mediocre writer of prose in possession of both self-awareness and some ambition to hone their syntax is condemned to repeated frustrations upon evaluating their own output typed years, months, weeks, …
One Man's Chorus: The Uncollected Writings
A posthumous omnibus collecting the late topical prose of twentieth-century England's most colorful novelist/essayist/poet/critic/playwright/linguist/translator/composer was at least so crucial as …
reviewed Rudo Y Cursi (2009). June 23, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Rudo Y Cursi (2009)
Two moronic, banana-slinging half-siblings (Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna) ascend from peasantry to football stardom by way of their formidable talent, though their auxiliary pursuits lead them …
reviewed Lifetime. June 22, 2012
Lifetime
From the Lifetime network's website, the channel is self-described:      Lifetime Networks is a diverse, multi-media company, committed to offering the highest quality entertainment …
reviewed Prometheus. June 21, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Prometheus
Exiting a screening of Ridley Scott's ludicrous, inexplicably acclaimed sword-and-sandal epic twelve years ago, I vowed never again to pay for the trial of enduring one of his movies. Both then and …
reviewed Making the Grade. June 19, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Making the Grade
Four archetypes dominated comedies of class conflict in the 1980s: straight men (and women), noxious authority figures, lovably insufferable boors and the medically retarded. All are prevalent in Golan-Globus's …
reviewed Session 9 (2001 movie). June 13, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Session 9
If nothing else, director/screenwriter/editor Brad Anderson possesses proven faculties for generating palpable dread and coaxing arresting performances from a gifted cast - and David Caruso, as well! …
reviewed Embryo. June 10, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Embryo
Utilizing an experimental hormone that he developed with his late wife, a scientist (Rock Hudson) rescues one of a few unborn puppies from the womb of a Doberman Pinscher (inadvertently struck by his …
reviewed King of the Mountain. June 04, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
King of the Mountain
Sprawling serpentine throughout the Santa Monica Mountains, few roads have pricked imagination, imperiled temerarious racers or been cultivated of such a colorful history as that of Mulholland Drive and …
reviewed Light of Day. April 07, 2012
Light of Day
As a character study, time capsule and rock drama, Paul Schrader's sixth directorial endeavor is a modest success, though not without its faults. Set in an unsightly Cleveland suburb, its subject …
reviewed Jean Giraud. March 14, 2012
Jean Giraud
There went an indisputable visionary of three mediums, whose artwork of comic books and feature film storyboards exerted a nearly incalculable influence and evinced as much from sources as disparate as …
reviewed Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. March 10, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Hellfire on heels, Martha's the shrill, spoiled, middle-aged daughter of a university president who won't recognize a boundary in sight of carnal or argumentative indulgence. As quick to deliver …
reviewed Jon Corzine. March 08, 2012
Jon Corzine
Little can be stated regarding this career criminal that Gerald Celente, William Cohan, et al. haven't repeatedly and exhaustively explained. However, two points deserve reiteration:      …
reviewed Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie. February 27, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
   Three televised series spanning seven years, six furious short films and a moist in(ter)continent(al) stage show enabled Tom Heydaanger and Erin Warsheimer to pervert the foundations of …
reviewed Whitney Houston. February 22, 2012
Whitney Houston
Of late, the sub-literate among H'witney's devoted faithful have repeatedly lamented the loss of "A MUSECAL ICON" via YouTube and innumerable news sites. It's fun to imagine the …
reviewed The Secret World of Arrietty. February 17, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
The Secret World of Arrietty
Animator Hiromasa Yonebayashi's directorial debut hasn't the compelling novelty of Hayao Miyazaki's classics nor the dramatic rigor of Isao Takahata's contributions to the Studio Ghibli …
reviewed Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). January 25, 2012
Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA)
Though SOPA has been scuttled and probably consigned to abandonment, public vigilance is essential to ensure that subsequent bills of its ilk aren't passed. Prospectively, ACTA is far more egregious …
reviewed J. Edgar (2011 film). November 30, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
J. Edgar
Eastwood's filmic account of Hoover the Voracious, the Fastidious, the Venal - self-aggrandizing, mother's son, political paranoiac, closet queer, social inept, vindictive bureaucrat - exudes …
reviewed The Face of Another. November 17, 2011
The Face of Another
Two narrative threads comprise this third and least of Hiroshi Teshigahara's collaborations with novelist/screenwriter Kobo Abe, who again adapted one of his novels with radical alterations for the …
reviewed Seven Minutes in Heaven. October 30, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Seven Minutes in Heaven
Like the more bombastic and obnoxious Three O'Clock High two years following, this sub-Hughesian piffle pioneered the now-dominant trend of comedic teen dramas bereft of engaging characters or plot …
reviewed The Thing (2011 film). October 17, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
The Thing
Among the most irksome of common cinematic misconceptions is the notion that John Carpenter's horror/sci-fi exemplar The Thing is a remake of Howard Hawks' The Thing From Another World. Despite …
reviewed The Old Dark House. October 05, 2011
The Old Dark House
Here's a treat beloved of all vintage horror enthusiasts: a charming, occasionally spooky thriller directed by James Whale in his native U.K. following the success of his iconic Frankenstein adaptation. …
reviewed ONIBABA. October 04, 2011
DVD
At the dawn of the warring Nanboku-cho era, spent samurai of the Kusunoki army who wander into a remote area of grassy swamp are murdered by a tough, aging peasant woman (Nobuko Otowa) and her comely …
reviewed Heathers. September 28, 2011
Heathers
Screenwriter Daniel Waters conceived Heathers as a three-hour epic teen comedy to end the genre while stocking shelves and registering videocassettes at a rental outlet. Thankfully, his initial vision …
reviewed Blood for Dracula. September 26, 2011
Blood for Dracula
Aged and ailing, vampiric Count Dracula (Udo Kier) travels to Italy on the advice of his manservant (Arno Juerging) to find a virgin whose blood will sustain him. Soliciting a noble family of depleted …
reviewed One Missed Call (aka. Chakushin ari, .... September 25, 2011
One Missed Call (aka. Chakushin ari, 2003)
One can feel the J-Horror bubble burst while viewing this.      A fine plot is poorly advanced by its derivative premise: college kids receive voicemail recordings via cell phone of …
reviewed The Call of Cthulhu. September 24, 2011
The Call of Cthulhu
Devotees of silent films and the great scribe of Providence alike will certainly enjoy this video, a faithful adaptation of Lovecraft's tale of ominous divinity shot in exacting imitation of expressionist …
reviewed When a Stranger Calls. September 23, 2011
When a Stranger Calls
Seven years after a homicidal lunatic terrorizes a babysitter (Carol Kane) via telephone in the home of her wealthy hosts, that same psychopath (Tony Beckley) finds himself fixated on a lonely lush (Colleen …
reviewed Green Slime. September 22, 2011
Green Slime
Apparently, space-faring mankind in The Future of 1968 haven't especially powerful telescopes, as they only discover an enormous asteroid on a collision course with Earth thirty-odd hours prior to …
reviewed God Told Me To. September 21, 2011
God Told Me To
Inspired by a mysterious, messianic figure, otherwise ordinary NYC citizens murder strangers and family alike; when asked why, they calmly explain by way of this picture's title. Obsessed with this …
reviewed Rachel, Rachel. September 20, 2011
Rachel, Rachel
Very few actors turned directors prove themselves able in the dominant office, yet Paul Newman's debut at the helm of this tender adaptation of Margaret Laurence's A Jest of God evinces a rare …
Gastroanomalies: Questionable Culinary Creations from the Golden Age of American Cookery
This critical appraisal of sickening photographs culled from fogyish kitchen publications is a thematic sequel to Lileks' earlier The Gallery of Regrettable Food, though its selections are, incredibly, …
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