Since reality shows like The Bachelorette seem to be fueled by over-the-top drama, I'd love to see a Bachelorette/American Idol mashup where the bachelorette is infused with some of Simon Cowell's "people skills". I like to imagine how some of those rose ceremonies would go....
"This whole week has been like an all-you-can buffet. It's the best food I've ever had, but you're kinda like the bread. Don't get me wrong, you're great bread.. some of the best bread I've ever had. But when they're serving up prime rib in the other corner, a girl just can't fill up on bread".
"Over the last two weeks, I've connected with you more than anyone else in my entire life. I know in my heart that you are my emotional soul mate. We've shed lots of tears together, some from the emotional connections we've made, but mostly because your intense halitosis makes my eyes water. And it's not just your breath, but your whole body has a funk about it and then there's that thing with your feet. I just can't be in a room with you without searching for the FeBreze (excellent product placement, btw). Maybe in the future we could have a phone affair, or we could instant message, but I really can't be in the room with you anymore..."
"When we first met, you were so new and exciting that I loved to be with you. But after a few days, I've realized you're kinda like a great show that was cancelled midseason, and all I get are the same re-runs over and over again. You bore me now, and every time I see you, I want to change the channel".
"This morning when I woke up, I knew I was going to have to make a very difficult decision. The restaurant has an omelet bar and a waffle bar, but you can only pick one. I spent 5 minutes agonizing over the decision, which was way longer than it took for me to decide to kick your butt to the curb."
"From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew that there was no way. But you kinda looked like a nerd, so I thought you could help me configure my laptop to watch Hulu over the internet or get me free pay-per-view in the hotel. But you couldn't even do that for me, could you? Get out of my sight."
"Wow. It's been a really tough day. It's neat to see you. How are you doing? You're a really cool guy. Ugh...this is so hard. You keep smiling like an idiot and you aren't picking up on any of my hints. I can't even make eye contact with you, yet you're still smiling. Thanks for making this even easier. I can't be with someone so clueless".
"Maybe if you weren't a gardener... oh, I'm sorry... Landscaper. Look, I just have certain financial needs, and I don't see how you can provide for them. But, if I could have your card, maybe my new boyfriend could hire you to cut our grass?"
"You've made it to the last stage and earned the final rose. However, after whoring it up for the past few weeks, I've grown accustomed to the lifestyle and I don't see myself being tied down to one guy. I want to continue dating several guys at once, but I want to include you in my man-harem rotation."
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I'm a technology early adopter. I thoroughly enjoy geeking out with the latest hardware, software and electronics. I probably have as much fun setting up, tweaking, and configuring systems as I do actually … more
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Ali Fedotowsky, who walked away from bachelor Jake Pavelka, is the sixth bachelorette. The season premiered on May 24, 2010. Ali, who let contestant Chris Lambton go the day before the Final Rose Ceremony, chose Roberto Martinez in the finale, and the couple remains together.