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Lunch » Tags » Books » Reviews » My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands » User review

Perfect book for reading in bed

  • Mar 4, 2009
Candid, shocking, hilarious, crass, sometimes gross, sarcastic and somehow still charming, that's Chelsea for you. Since I've been watching her late night show on E! for over a hear and a half now I wasn't as stunned as an average reader might be but the book was still a handful, easy to read but with many "holy moly" moments through in, some parts had me laughing so loud that I thought something would burst in my body, her comedic spirit is her own, she's not pretending to be funny, it's simply part of her personality and it works.

Being one of many siblings has made Chelsea a natural goofball around people, considering she seems to be the most mischievous and outgoing and perhaps the funniest. From an early age she hasn't shied away from figuring out things that parents want to keep hidden for as long as possible, resulting in a hunger that made her life look like one giant party. It was funny reading this and thinking that now I'm the age Chelsea was when the book was ending, and comparing of course how insanely different we are, I still had a blast reading about her conquests, one night stands ( half of them were more than one night, it made me laugh) and in between bizzaro incidents that made me feel better about my own past, I guess young men are mostly frogs and she proves it well in this hilarious memoir of sorts. Now no offence to the normal men out there, I believe you're hiding in between the wolves but they weren't so common in this bedside memoir.

This was a fun and fast read, something one can get through in a day or two, it might induce cravings for cocktails as one reads it, and I know I wanted one during each chapter. Chelsea is honest and funny, her personality really shines through even if it's bit over the top sometimes but ultimately she proves that she's a good friend to those close to her and I like that about her, she's not empty, she cares and she has a good heart.

I watch her show with my bf every night and it rarely fails to make us laugh, sometimes it gets boring, other times its really out there, but she says whatever she thinks of celebs and calls them out when they are lame and I love that. She brings some much needed humility to the Hollywood scene but always with some laughs.

- Kasia S.

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December 21, 2011
Thanks for sharing !
December 07, 2010
I just read her interview in Glamour and decided I should give this book a read. I'm glad that you wrote about it and liked it, I'm going to have to check this out! Can't we all use a book from time to time to help us feel better about ourselves? Thanks for sharing :)
September 15, 2010
Sounds humorous.
September 10, 2010
Ha, sounds like a hilarious book! I'll have to check it out since I *heart* Chelsea. Thanks for sharing, Kasia!
September 10, 2010
nice one. Ithanks!
More My Horizontal Life: A Collecti... reviews
review by . July 15, 2010
I love stories about sex and sexuality. They run the spectrum from intense to hilarious. Usually.      Handler's My Horrizontal Life failed on just about all accounts, however.      I got about halfway through the book before I had to set it down indefinitely. I'm not sure how her publisher did it.      The tone of the writing is grating. Not only are we getting insights into a teenager's immature sex life, but we're also …
review by . June 24, 2010
Regardless if you watch Chelsea Lately, her late night comedy show on E!, you can easily become a fan of her sarcastic and comical outlook on life.  Clearly, she is an open book and shares anything and everything on her mind.  The way she thinks, responds, and describes things are just hilariously truthful and off the wall.  She writes just like she speaks, so the book is like her talking, just telling the stories of her love life.  Be warned, she starts the book with a horrifying …
Quick Tip by . June 03, 2010
review by . June 26, 2009
There is one thing that all memoirs should have... redemption. Or at least be so funny that it doesn't matter. This fell so far from the mark of being a good memoir. It was just - sad. I would have loved to see her end up in rehab and maybe married to someone with no sexually transmitted diseases. It was like *giggle* a story *giggle* about this *giggle* little girl *giggle* in this grown up *giggle* body - that drank entirely too much (and *giggle* thought it was funny), would find the nearest …
About the reviewer
Kasia S. ()
Ranked #225
   I’m a total book lover; it eclipses all other hobbies, mainly of the horror genre that embraces all the things that make one sleep with their back to the wall. Horror is a lush terrain … more
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About this book


Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape." She discusses her quest for sex with a "black man," which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing." After him, there's a "little midget," but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handlerdoessleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed.
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ISBN-10: 1582346186
ISBN-13: 978-1582346182
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA

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