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Lunch » Tags » Books » Reviews » My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands » User review

A book written by a 12 year old

  • Jul 15, 2010
Rating:
-4

I love stories about sex and sexuality. They run the spectrum from intense to hilarious. Usually.

Handler's My Horrizontal Life failed on just about all accounts, however.

I got about halfway through the book before I had to set it down indefinitely. I'm not sure how her publisher did it.

The tone of the writing is grating. Not only are we getting insights into a teenager's immature sex life, but we're also getting the grating, obnoxious, self-righteous tone of a teenager. I wanted to step into the story and slap her for, dare I say, being such a whiny bitch.

The story did have a strong hook. Telling the story of hiding from her father after daring her sister to take a picture of their parents having sex was engaging. But the book as a whole just did not maintain that momentum. 

I had high hopes for the story, especially after reading the first chapter, but Handler just couldn't keep me interested. If you like listening to teenagers talk about their sex lives as if they know what they're talking about, this book might be for you. If not, I recommend you pass on this one.

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July 16, 2010
This sounds like a truly poorly written book. I'll probably avoid this one. Thanks for the review!
 
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Wiki

Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape." She discusses her quest for sex with a "black man," which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing." After him, there's a "little midget," but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handlerdoessleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed.
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Details

ISBN-10: 1582346186
ISBN-13: 978-1582346182
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA

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