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It's All About Love & a new language to speak it

  • Sep 8, 2009
This is one book which I read only as recently as 2 years ago. This is one of the most recent in a series of self help books I've read over the last 2 decades. As with John Gray's famous book on Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus, Gary Chapman in his Five Love Languages highlights the differences in the way to connect either between the sexes, or between individuals. Gray places emphasis on differences between women and men while Chapman emphasizes on the differences between individuals in reading one another's mind & speaking his/her language effectively. 


Yes, we tend to interprete other's messages the way our minds are preprogrammed to think. But we also know that others may think and process the world very differently from our perspectives and realites. So, Chapman tries to make sense of this world and improve on ways husband and wife can connect and thus maintain a healthy and enriching relationship.

It is easy for each and every of us individuals to associate with one or a few of his 5 languages of love. 
Typically, they are:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch

His concept of 5 Love Languages proposes that we have a distinct and unique need for a certain way of expressing and receiving love. If our loved ones (including parents and siblings and friends) express themselves in the same language we express love, then the love connection is intact. Otherwise, with different languages of expressing love, sooner or later, we don't feel love and become loved-starved! And that's when our relationships begin to lose its lustre.

For example, if I love to give gifts and that's my way of expressing I love someone while the other party love language is words of affirmation, he/she won't feel much love from me if I simply give him/her gifts. Instead, if I say words of encouragments (and hence save me a great deal of $$$), he/she will be more in tune with me and will feel my affection for him/her. That's cool, I think. But hey, whoever wants to tell me he loves me, make sure buy me lots of gifts, hehe... well, actually I'm more complicated (or greedy, as some would say) than that. I also need quality time and the rest of the 5 languages! ;-)

The book is an interesting read and for those who wonders why their ways of expressing love have not been appreciated, perhaps this book will enlighten you and help you in your quest for love as well as improving  your relationships with your kids.

Gary Chapman also wrote books that's specifically for singles and children with the same theme. His latest book is The Marriage You've Always Wanted.

It's All About Love & a new language to speak it It's All About Love & a new language to speak it

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December 22, 2011
you and Dev gave it a high score!
December 22, 2011
Interesting that you found this review! I actually just bought another copy (ebook) of it last week!
More The Five Love Languages: How t... reviews
review by . June 10, 2010
I found myself amazed as I read this book.   The author so perfectly captured the feelings, thoughts, and emotions I had - the ones I thought nobody else felt or would understand.      Gary Chapman lists the 5 common ways in which human beings I)receive and II)give love from and to one another. The 5 ways are,      1. Physical Touch (don't think sex - think hugs, back-rubs, holding hands, touching arm/shoulder)   2. Quality Time (Movies, …
Quick Tip by . December 21, 2011
Love this book. No wonder it's so highly recommended! I've never thought about this aspect of relationships before, but Gary Chapman divvies up and explains everything so well. Very highly recommended for anyone looking to get and give more out of any type of relationship.
review by . July 12, 2010
I have read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" four times now, and each time is enlightening about the way couples relate to each other. Such a good reminder of why I am married and how to be better at it.      I had never thought about love languages - how we show and receive love - before reading this, let alone considered that we all may have different languages. When it's broken down like that, the task of communicating in a marriage (one of my many …
review by . June 25, 2010
I recommend this book to all couples. It is amazing how the author can get it so right on.  As I read the book I felt like the author was inside my relationship because there is no way he could know these things.         I recommend this book especially to new couples that are still learning about each other. If you can figue out your love language and your partner's you will have a great asset in your relationship.     Author states there …
review by . July 16, 2010
The Five Love Languages can really revolutionize your relationship.  Most of us love our spouses the way we prefer love to be demonstrated toward us.  If we especially enjoy affection, we give affection.  However we may have failed to understand that our spouse may have a completely different need.  Affection may be fine but his greatest love language may be quality time spent together.  If you give him tons of affection but fail to spend time with him, you are not meeting …
review by . August 10, 2010
five love languages great book
The five Love languages takes an exploratory look into the world of love. It is very inspiring, informative, and practical. As you get deeper and deeper into the book a new world is opened up. This is a book for everyone especially those in relationships or find it hard understanding and expressing love. It is even for those looking for love because it helps you to understand what exactly you are looking for and need in a mate.  The use of five basic principles are clearly explored and expounded …
Quick Tip by . July 15, 2010
Praises, Gifts, Service, Investing of Time and Touch. For those who don`t know how to do a maintenance in a relationship. Affection is a way to heal people. I love this book.
Quick Tip by . July 08, 2010
Awesome book. My husband and I read it and took a lot from it. It really helped us learn how to communicate with each other in more effective and productive way.
Quick Tip by . July 06, 2010
A must for couples!
Quick Tip by . June 28, 2010
if you dont know them read this -- something everyone should know and follow
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Sharrie ()
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I'm a traveler at heart & have been nicknamed Travel Queen by friends & colleagues alike. Traveling has been my life passion for the last decade or so. As we enter a new decade, I'm excited … more
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About this book


The Five Love Languages is a book by relationship counselor Gary Chapman that helps people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked after taking the love language profile that is included in the book for both husbands and wives. He has also authored the Five Love Language concept for parents of children and teenagers, single adults, and a special version for men. He has co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas, that helps people understand how to give and receive an apology.

The first of many books promoting the above concept was The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, first published in 1992. The book has sold nearly 5 million copies in English; having been translated into 38 other languages — and the 1996 edition consistently ranks in the top 100 sellers on Amazon.com, ranking in the top 50 as of February, 2007. The book is in the top 15 books on the New York Times Bestsellers List.
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Author: Gary Chapman
Genre: Advice, How-To
Publisher: Northfield Publishing
Date Published: May 1, 2004

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