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Lunch » Tags » Books » Reviews » The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate » User review

5 Languages of Love - Read it.

  • Jun 10, 2010
I found myself amazed as I read this book.
The author so perfectly captured the feelings, thoughts, and emotions I had - the ones I thought nobody else felt or would understand.

Gary Chapman lists the 5 common ways in which human beings I)receive and II)give love from and to one another. The 5 ways are,

1. Physical Touch (don't think sex - think hugs, back-rubs, holding hands, touching arm/shoulder)
2. Quality Time (Movies, dinner, walks, museums, coffee shops, team work)
3. Words of Affirmation (Compliments, "I love you's", positive speech directed at person)
4. Gifts (Cards, specially chosen presents "just because")
5. Acts of Service (cleaning, doing dishes, covering a deadline, etc.)

This book is NOT just for women, it is NOT only for men, it is an excellent book on how to reach out to others, anticipating misunderstood intentions, understanding your own thought processes and reaching out to others.

It has helped me enormously in ALL of my relationships, because I know what my motivations are, and I can identify other tendencies in my friends, and the relationships that ensue.

I give it 5 stars out of 5, because it lacks nothing.

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July 11, 2011
I agree wholeheartedly. Let me answer Willw2's question enunciated below: To identify motivations, human beings really need prior experience with a person. Body language is another key to detect a potential motivation real or otherwise. Again, the detection of tendencies requires prior experience with a person in order to divine fine nuances in behavior or changes in behavior. Some people display anger when you are doing well and are happy when you suffer. Behavior very often belies genuine feelings which many people release knowingly or unknowingly. The important thing is to understand behaviors from your repeated experience with people within your periphery.
November 23, 2010
Does this book have other merits besides this list? What's the biggest coolest thing you got out of it, besides this list? How did this book help you identify motivations/tendencies?
August 17, 2010
Also sounds like an enjoyable, feel-good read. Nice review.
June 24, 2010
I've read this book in Russian and really enjoyed it too!
June 12, 2010
This book is amazing. Another good one that helps clarify a few things is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It's not just applicable to romantic relationships but also to everyone I encounter.
June 12, 2010
Yes indeed, I have heard marvelous things about that book - I must read it soon!
June 11, 2010
This sounds like a fantastic book.  I love relationship-type books, so I'll have to check it out.  By the way, you might dig @Sharrie's reading list.  I know it's a V-Day list, but I think you'll still find the books interesting!  Thanks for sharing this great review, lady! :)
June 11, 2010
Thank you, so kind of you to let me know! I'll check her list out!
More The Five Love Languages: How t... reviews
review by . September 08, 2009
posted in Inspirations
It's All About Love & a new language to speak it
This is one book which I read only as recently as 2 years ago. This is one of the most recent in a series of self help books I've read over the last 2 decades. As with John Gray's famous book on Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus, Gary Chapman in his Five Love Languages highlights the differences in the way to connect either between the sexes, or between individuals. Gray places emphasis on differences between women and men while Chapman emphasizes on the differences between individuals …
Quick Tip by . December 21, 2011
Love this book. No wonder it's so highly recommended! I've never thought about this aspect of relationships before, but Gary Chapman divvies up and explains everything so well. Very highly recommended for anyone looking to get and give more out of any type of relationship.
review by . July 12, 2010
I have read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" four times now, and each time is enlightening about the way couples relate to each other. Such a good reminder of why I am married and how to be better at it.      I had never thought about love languages - how we show and receive love - before reading this, let alone considered that we all may have different languages. When it's broken down like that, the task of communicating in a marriage (one of my many …
review by . June 25, 2010
I recommend this book to all couples. It is amazing how the author can get it so right on.  As I read the book I felt like the author was inside my relationship because there is no way he could know these things.         I recommend this book especially to new couples that are still learning about each other. If you can figue out your love language and your partner's you will have a great asset in your relationship.     Author states there …
review by . July 16, 2010
The Five Love Languages can really revolutionize your relationship.  Most of us love our spouses the way we prefer love to be demonstrated toward us.  If we especially enjoy affection, we give affection.  However we may have failed to understand that our spouse may have a completely different need.  Affection may be fine but his greatest love language may be quality time spent together.  If you give him tons of affection but fail to spend time with him, you are not meeting …
review by . August 10, 2010
five love languages great book
The five Love languages takes an exploratory look into the world of love. It is very inspiring, informative, and practical. As you get deeper and deeper into the book a new world is opened up. This is a book for everyone especially those in relationships or find it hard understanding and expressing love. It is even for those looking for love because it helps you to understand what exactly you are looking for and need in a mate.  The use of five basic principles are clearly explored and expounded …
Quick Tip by . July 15, 2010
Praises, Gifts, Service, Investing of Time and Touch. For those who don`t know how to do a maintenance in a relationship. Affection is a way to heal people. I love this book.
Quick Tip by . July 24, 2010
This will not only help in marriage, but it will help you to better relate to your children.
Quick Tip by . July 08, 2010
Awesome book. My husband and I read it and took a lot from it. It really helped us learn how to communicate with each other in more effective and productive way.
Quick Tip by . July 06, 2010
A must for couples!
About the reviewer
A.Kraft ()
Ranked #253
I love Jesus, salvation, my family, writing, and my photography and design.   In that order.   And I can't wait to tell you about my life.   Just ask me.
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About this book


The Five Love Languages is a book by relationship counselor Gary Chapman that helps people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked after taking the love language profile that is included in the book for both husbands and wives. He has also authored the Five Love Language concept for parents of children and teenagers, single adults, and a special version for men. He has co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas, that helps people understand how to give and receive an apology.

The first of many books promoting the above concept was The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, first published in 1992. The book has sold nearly 5 million copies in English; having been translated into 38 other languages — and the 1996 edition consistently ranks in the top 100 sellers on Amazon.com, ranking in the top 50 as of February, 2007. The book is in the top 15 books on the New York Times Bestsellers List.
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Author: Gary Chapman
Genre: Advice, How-To
Publisher: Northfield Publishing
Date Published: May 1, 2004

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