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Karma's Kiss

  • Apr 23, 2009
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I've been bad. Well, not so much bad as not very nice.

I've been bashing a guy behind his back. I've tried and tried to dig this man-Because on paper he's perfect! He's tall, dark, very handsome, a scientist making 6 figures, never been married and no kids. But he's about as much fun as watching paint dry.
He's Dr. McBoring! He's socially retarded. And I thought I would be my job to try and bring the fun forth!

"Well, I'm fun. I do plenty of fun activites." He would proclaim. "Well, maybe I should visit more eclectic establishments." I swear he talked just like that. It was then I realized that anyone that answers the question, "Whatcha up to?" and says, "I'm at the department store trying to find the customer service representative in order to exchange an item I purchased last week." Just isn't the guy for me.

As the months and dates progressed I began to worry that he was a succubus and would suck the fun from me. So, in all efforts of self-preservation I began to pull back, literally.

It was a matter of time before words like "per se" and "prudent" would escape the overly verbose Dr. McBoring. Once, he told me: "You're logic is flawed".  It may have been but who talks like that?!

And yet it seemed he was interested in kissing after dates. I would do the turn the cheek move but you can only do that twice. Then I moved to the pre-emptive kiss, whereas I would give him a kiss on the cheek goodnight, but once again only a few times can you do this move. So I began to get creative. Sore throats, horrid sounding coughs and the like.
On the last date he tried once again to give me a kiss. The only thing I could think of was, "Sorry, I have a cold sore." Seriously!

Here's where I've learned a thing or two about Karma.

A few weeks later I got the biggest cold sore on my bottom lip. It was hideously enormous. I had to hide out for a week!

Karma kissed me on my lips for being mean.

What Comes Around...

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April 29, 2009
@djevoke: Yeah I really tried to work that out...oh well. Glad you have a great back-story about meeting your sweetie! Thanks for taking the time to read my stuff!
April 29, 2009
LOL...I loved this! I've been there with the good-on-papers but, I can't fake the funk. After I realize that you're boring the ish out of me, I usually tend to do the never call back/pick up phone passive agressive way of disappearing. But, yes, I have been guilty of giving someone another chance cuz I wanted it to work- was convinced it should work because he seemed perfect for me. Remember that Karma works both ways, though because I dumped one of these guys because I didn't want to lead him on, and the next week met the love of my life. True story LOL....great piece!
April 29, 2009
Yeah, my dating life and history isn't the best. I was thinking I should look to another city/state. OMG! That's just how he spoke! Creepy. Thanks for checking out my stuff!
April 29, 2009
B/c I wanted that to work. But he only looked good on paper.. I mean, come on; a scientist/good-looking and a brotha, damn. Back tp the drawing board.
April 28, 2009
That was hilarious.... On question my friend.. Wy didnt you put him on the IGNORE LIST????
April 23, 2009
Aww, trashcanman, you're adorkable!
About the reviewer
E. Brown ()
Ranked #275
Member Since: Feb 10, 2009
Last Login: Sep 8, 2010 09:57 PM UTC
About this topic


Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म Karma.ogg kárma (help·info), kárman- "act, action, performance"[1]; Pali: kamma) is the concept of "action" or "deed" in Indian religions understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect (i.e., the cycle called saṃsāra) originating in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Sikh and Buddhist philosophies.
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Destiny, Karma, Eastern Religion


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"Karma's Kiss"
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