Great things about Mac: eye shadow, bronzer, lipstick, eyeliner, foundation, new Hello Kitty line…
Mac's number one failure: Lip glass.
Thick, sticky, and greasy would be the perfect way to describe this stuff. My first clash with Mac's lipglass happened when I was fourteen. Fresh out of junior high, the summer before my freshman year of high school, I discovered Mac's lipglass. This was the summer of chicken-fried lips and hip-hugger jeans. Do you remember that? When every girls' lips was maximized by glaze-y thick lip gloss and ass-cracks were so ‘in'. Well that summer, my best friend and I headed out to the Mac store in Soho, and purchased a fifteen dollar tube of Mac's clear lipglass. According to her, it would be the best investment I ever made. Persuasive skank. According to her, Mac lipglass was the best thing to ever happen to lips. Lying bitch. According to her, fifteen dollars really wasn't too much to spend on a tiny tube of nasty. Misguided fool.
So I bought the gloss and the moment we stepped out of the store, I smeared the oozing liquid onto my lips. Whoa, think I used to much, so I got a tissue, blotted it off and reapplied. This time I'm sure I've used just enough. We walk a block, heading towards the nearest Old Navy (on Broadway) , and I attempt to rub my lips together. What the fuck? Too thick. My lips can't move against each other. Not a big problem though, right? Really, you don't need to rub your lips together. Not really.
We walk another block. Standing at the intersection, the wind picks up. Hair and city-dust is everywhere. Finally the wind dies down and I've got a good twenty strands of hair practically glued to my lips. I dolefully pull them off and tuck my hair back behind my ears, rubbing my now greasy fingertips against the leg off my jeans.
Finally we get to Old Navy. I find a few really cheap shirts (thank God for Old Navy and their amazing clearance rack). I head to the fitting room. After trying on a few shirts, a couple of half-off jeans, and maybe a hoodie or two, I pull my own shirt back over my head only to discover a little greasy spot. Where the hell did that come from? Some sort of weird inexplicable oil spill in my boobs? ‘Course not. Just yet another benefit of Mac lipglass.
So I spend the rest of the day with an oil-stained shirt and greasy lips and sticky hair, and when I finally get home, I open up my purse and dump all of the days work onto my bed. My purse falls out, followed by my pocket-mirror, a few pens, some cute (and cheap) earrings from street vendors…all covered in lip gloss. Fantastic, yes? I fish out the stupid little tube, also covered in lip gloss, and the entire inside of my purse is gooey and wet.
And I dump it. Fifteen dollars worth of lip gloss in the trash (not to mention the destroyed wallet and purse, my dirty hair, stained shirt and jeans, and dry lips - yes, the next morning I awoke to extremely dry lips, so much for being ‘conditioning'). In total, Mac lipglass was a complete fail. Completely shattered my adolescent faith in lip gloss, forcing me to go through my entire freshman year with only slightly iridescent and nearly abnormally normal sized lips.
Mac lipglass, not so great for lips.
Maybe better on penises? Mac lube?
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About the reviewer
May 20, 2009
Sep 22, 2009 08:50 PM UTC
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A unique lip gloss that can create a high gloss, glass-like finish or a subtle sheen. Designed to be worn on its own, over Lip Pencil or Lipstick, Clear Lipglass is the perfect product for creating shine that lasts. It contains Jojoba Oil to help soften and condition the lips and a tiny bead of this highly concentrated product is all that's needed to cover the lip area. Packaged in a convenient squeeze tube, Clear Lipglass is easy to apply using a lip brush. Clear Lipglass can be mixed with other products, like Pigments, and can be applied anywhere on the body except for the eye area to create interesting effects.