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Personal Ads

An advertisement placed by an individual in a newspaper or other publication, esp. in seeking a romantic partner.

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Leave no stone unturned in the search for your soul mate.

  • Jan 11, 2010
  • by
Rating:
+4

I have heard the same complaint since I was a teenager many moons ago.  For a great many people it is extremely difficult to meet members of the opposite sex.  Certainly there are those individuals who are popular and outgoing by nature who find themselves quite comfortable doing the bar and nightclub scene.  Certainly there is nothing wrong with this approach if that is an atmosphere that you enjoy.  But if I had to hazard a guess there are many more people out there who are not at all at ease in such a setting.  Thus for these folks the age old question arises "How do I go about meeting someone?"   One way to approach this dilemma is to consider the use of a personal ad.  To some this idea may seem to be an act of desperation.   But for the person who is serious about finding that special someone this could very well be the answer you are looking for. 

When I was in my early 30's I found myself unmarried and devoid of any kind of a relationship.  I was never that interested in dating a lot of people and believed that one day I would just meet the right person.  But I wasn't getting any younger and although I was very active in my church and in the community it simply never happened.   Every so often my friends would drag me to a nightclub.  But I detested that scene and felt that I had absolutely nothing in common with the people who were there.  So at the age of 33 I finally decided I was going to try to do something about it.  I really did want to meet someone special.  Now I was willing to entertain radically different approaches.  So during that first year I called radio dating shows and joined a dating service that was extremely popular at the time called "Together".  Believe me I was positively scared to death at the beginning of this process.   Now at least I was out there meeting people.  After a period of several months I determined that I was still not meeting the kind of women that I could truly relate to.  Then one day a buddy of mine stopped by my apartment with a newspaper that would change my life forever.

"The Yankee Swapper" was a free weekly newspaper that featured photo ads for cars, trucks, RV's and boats. This was a very popular publication in Rhode Island in those days and was an inexpensive alternative to placing a classified ad in the regular newspaper.  As I was thumbing through it I noticed that on the last several pages there was a section for Personal Ads.  As I began to peruse these ads I discovered much to my surprise that these were actually the type of down-to-earth women that I was looking  to meet.   And since I love to write I thought to myself that this was probably going to be the best approach for me.  And so I began placing ads.  The first ads that I placed were fairly general in nature.  I began meeting more interesting ladies but  I had still not found my soul mate.  So I kept refining my ads. I was not particularly interested in lots of responses.  Rather, I was looking for the "right" one.  What is so great about this approach is that every day you wake up knowing that this could be the day you receive the response that will change your life forever.  For me that day finally came when I received a beautiful letter from a young lady named Molly.   Believe it or not I knew right away that I had found the one I was looking for.   Before I ever even phoned her I told my best friend that I was going to marry her.  Molly and I talked a couple of times during that week and quickly discovered that we had an awful lot in common.  We met for the first time on the following Saturday night and found that we were just perfect for each other.  We were engaged several months later.  Molly and I were married a year and a half later and we have been happily married for 22 years now.  

I tell you this story because I want to encourage those of you who find it hard to meet people to consider personal ads as an option.  Never in a million years did I imagine I would ever do anything like this.  For me this was definitely thinking "outside the box". What I liked most about this approach is that before we ever met Molly had seen and replied to my ad and we had talked on the phone a couple of times.  Both of us were convinced that there was good reason to finally get together.   A word of caution:  do your homework and make sure that the people placing ads in the publication or online service you are considering are folks you would really be interested in meeting.  There are an awful lot of options out there these days.  And be patient as it might take some time.  Don't be afraid to change up your ad from every now and then. While personal ads may not be the solution for everyone in my view this is an alternative that a lot more people really should consider.   Highly recommended!    

Don't be afraid to try a different approach! Don't be afraid to try a different approach! Don't be afraid to try a different approach! Leave no stone unturned in the search for your soul mate.

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May 26, 2013
Thanks for sharing.
 
August 24, 2010
Paul- Congratulations. Your story continues to inspire and give me hope. As the last person on the planet who should be offering dating advice, I can only say that any form of legal contact that allows both parties to feel comfortable is cool. However, as a veteran of most of the major on-line services, you get out what you put in. The bottom-line is that most people who go the on-line route are not fundamentally honest about their status, expectations or personal "virtues." So, the winnowing process is just as precarious as the bar scene that most singles claim as inferior. Just because a site requires that you answer 100 qualifying questions means nothing. On-line works but as they say on Hill Street Blues... "be careful out there" and caveat emptor.
 
January 13, 2010
Aw, this is such a wonderful story, Paul!  I agree with you about leaving no stone unturned in one's search for, not just a "soulmate", but for people in general, be it a friend or a business connection.  I was a member of a dating site, which I'm still open to, and I go to a lot of meet ups and social networking events.  Some people actually think that things like that are sad and pathetic, but I really beg to differ because I've met so many wonderful people and have come across some really cool experiences and opportunities in doing so.  Who knows, maybe I'll find my soul mate through one of these :P  Did you show this to your wife?  I bet she would love to read it :)  Thanks for sharing this very lovely and thought-provoking review, Paul!
 
January 12, 2010
That is a great story Paul! I would have never thought you met your wife this way :) I know a young couple that randomly met online on a social network. They were from completely different cultures and now they are happily married and have two great kids. In our case it was random in a way because I knew my husband for eight years but would have never thought I would marry him :)
 
January 11, 2010
This is an interesting story and a most successful one. Good for you!! At one point, (many moons ago) I answered a couple of ads, but found the guys repulsive. One said he didn't have any wheels and the next one said he just had a head transplant (excuse me-hair transplant)...I finally met the perfect match through a personal introduction by a mutual friend who had been doing business with my husband for over 20 years. Harley and I have now been together for close to 25 years. I definitely don't recommend the bar scene, and as far as ads they do have to be placed by reliable sources. I would hate to be single today, because as you say there are so many options as to meeting people, but not all are bonafide. Many of my friends over 40 are still single as they've just run out of energy seeking the right person. You got lucky with Molly!
 
January 11, 2010
Great success story. Personally most women just don't meet my standards. And the new online approach is faster, but costs money. At this stage I like being a bachelor. But I appreciate successes like yours, thanks.
 
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About the reviewer
Paul Tognetti ()
Ranked #2
I guess I would qualify as a frustrated writer. My work requires very little writing and so since 1999 I have been writing reviews on non-fiction books and anthology CD's on amazon.com. I never could … more
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Wiki

A personal or personal ad is an item or notice traditionally in the newspaper, similar to a classified ad but personal in nature.  In British English it is also commonly known as an advert in a lonely hearts column.  With its rise in popularity, the World Wide Web has also become a common medium for personals, commonly referred to as online dating.  Personals are generally meant to generate romance, friendship, or casual (sometimes sexual) encounters, and usually include a basic description of the person posting it, and their interests.

Due to newspaper prices being based on characters or lines of text, a jargon of abbreviations, acronyms and code words arose in personals, and have carried over to the internet.

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