Stress of life and how what I believe helps me cope
Apr 17, 2011
There are things I believe strongly and things I am certain of. I believe everything works towards good and the glory of God and I believe everything has a reason. There is not one person smart enough to figure it out so that lets me off the hook. All I can do is ask for some aha moment to figure out the things that really bother me. I am a total whiner at heart. I need a sounding board, usually people close to me, to complain to because I internalize stress. That being said, I have been truly blessed. I say this when I have a high stress job but at least it is a very well paying job. My two daughters won't speak to me (they are almost 18 and 21) and that breaks my heart but they are alive, and at least one is going to church. If they never speak to me again but restore their relationship with God then I did something right. I will get to see them in heaven and I think Jesus will straighten that mess out. I sure don't know how. I ended up being a first responder on a really bad wreck yesterday because I am the type that stops if no trained help is near. I will have a few days of nightmares and some stress to work through. I am not squeamish and that is a good thing but I carry around the images for a while in the form of mild post traumatic stress. As far as I know the man I gave aid to lived and I hope and pray he will recover well. I did a lot of praying in that time span and have prayed a lot since then. God is definitely in control. How a dry towel ended up in the back of an open bed truck in yesterday's rain I have no clue but there isn't anything much better for what I needed it for. That is just a small tidbit of the things that have been going on in my life. Between, the kids, my job, my school, and life in general I am starting get down. I do this. At 40, I know myself fairly well. I get into the doldrums. I don’t want to do my homework. I don’t want to exercise. I gain 5-10 pounds. I have an iron will and I recognize I am getting down. With school coming down to the wire I have to force myself to do what I know I need to finish. Then, I can increase my exercise, go to the diet doctor, read and study the Bible more and allow myself to slow down without mentally beating myself up about it which will all work towards getting me out of this mood. IF you read the self-help books or study the psychology of stress and mental fatigue. Those are primary things a person can do to combat the problems. Exercise acts as a drug to your brain. It helps release happy chemicals. At 40 with missing most all my female parts plus a few that doctors deem non-essential. Losing weight requires a good diet doc. I don’t want nor could I look 18 again but losing 10 pounds is possible. That will help me not feel like a diet failure and lift my mood. The Bible is probably the best tool out there to teach you how to deal with stress in the professional world or any circumstance. It teaches you how to act towards others even when they act badly. Proverbs is very relevant for my life along with moderation. The teachers and preachers at my church and my Engineering Change Management Professor are all constantly relating the best books, principles and procedures back to things in the Bible and it is very true. Non-ethical and non-Christian behavior causes lots of problems. Then there’s the mild post traumatic stress whenever I deal with something violent or gory. I beat myself up because that type of thing bothers me badly. Getting mad at myself about it doesn’t help and I know it. I have always disliked scary movies, blood and gore on TV and I used to really hate physical violence. I still don’t like but as I age I realize I am more vulnerable. Some people only understand that violent mentality so sometimes violence or the promise of it is the only way. If it wasn’t why would we need a department of defense. This is a weakness of mine, I acknowledge it. It isn’t as easy as telling yourself to stop it. It is something that takes some time. I am going to have to give myself time. This episode isn’t near as bad as ones in the past when I have been in very gory situations. No nightmares last night just didn’t sleep great, as things go I am already half way there. IF you have a lot of stress in your life, deal with it. Anyone can break out of the rut. It takes work though. You have to be honest with yourself, willing to self-discipline and willing to realize your humanity and forgive yourself. Find a book, a counselor, an elder or pastor. Do something to change or things stay the same.
I'm usually thinking out of the box. I have been a homeschooler for about 15 or so years with 3 children in college,1 dual enrolled in highschool. I ran my own business as a family entertainer / birthday … more
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