Okay. I know it's been a couple of months since the Survivor reunion aired, but hey, better late than never when it comes to reviewing it, lol. I've had a couple of things happen in my life over the past few weeks and that is the reason for the delay in writing this. But seeing as how the new season of Survivor is starting very soon, I feel that this is the perfect time to finally wrap up the previous season in all its glory. So Sit back and relax as we review the reunion episode of Survivor Nicaragua.
The reunion episode takes place at the CBS Television Studios in Hollywood, California. Fabio has just been announced as the winner of Survivor and the crowd is still going wild after learning of his win. Jeff Probst asks if the Fabio nickname has now stuck to him like glue now that the show has aired (remember, Fabio's real name is Judson, but Shannon gave him the nickname "Fabio" during the show and it stuck). Fabio responds by saying that people still don't know that Fabio is not his real name and that his mother has been asked "Why'd you name your son Fabio?" lol. Jeff also asks Fabio if he really was a goofball this season or was he just playing the goofball. Fabio says that it comes down to knowing yourself and knowing what vibes you give off and what vibes you receive in return. After making this statement, Fabio then dives headfirst into crazy talk. He begins to rant about random things that really make no sense. Fabio starts talking about how his great grandfather on his mother's side invented the color wheel, how his other great grandpa on his dad's side invented the folding card table, how human creative powers exist in the jungle and how you can work with them (what the hell does that mean??? lol.), how he's going to start a production company, and how he's going to undermine the government and communicate with people. Uuuuummmmm.......ooookkkkkaaaayyyy. Fabio is just a weeeeeee bit loco, lol. I guess all the excitement of winning Survivor has gone to his head just a little toooooo much. After Jeff realizes that Fabio is acting a little loopy, he gradually backs away from Fabio and talks to the other Survivors. Yeah, I think backing away slowly from a crazy ranting surfer dude is the best way to go. Let's not ever give Fabio the mic again. EVER!!!!!!! lol.
Next, Jeff talks with Chase for a bit. Jeff asks Chase why he was so wishy-washy in the game and Chase responds by saying that it drove him crazy to flip alliances so many times, but it was part of his game and it helped him get far. Jeff then asks Chase if he ever had any feelings for Brenda while doing the show. Chase says that he flirted with Brenda a little at the beginning, but now they're just friends. Jeff then talks with Brenda and asks her if she thought that Sash would have given her his idol in order to keep her safe in the game. Brenda says that she doesn't believe that Sash would've given her his idol because Sash found out that Brenda wanted him out of the game and as a result, Sash was definitely not going to give her the idol that night. Jeff then tells Sash that he owes him an apology. Apparently, Jeff told Sash in pre-production that he most likely would be voted out of the game first. Well, guess what, Jeff??? You were wrong!!!!!!! Sash not only survived the first vote off, he made it all the way to final three. So shove that down your pipe and smoke it, Jeff!!!!! lol. This segment concludes with Chase playing a country song on his guitar for the audience as we go to break. Seriously, who cares about Chase's country music career??? I sure don't. Wow, that was boring. Let's move on.
After we come back from the break, Jeff talks with legendary football coach Jimmy Johnson. Jeff asks Jimmy Johnson to describe why Survivors are so tough. JJ then proceeds to show the differences between football and Survivor. JJ says that in football, you work hard, but you at least get a bed and some food and some water. On Survivor, you don't get any of those basic necessities in life and that's what makes Survivor so much more difficult than anything he had to face in football. JJ then says that he auditioned for Survivor on two previous occasions and got accepted on his second try (which was for season 17 in Gabon), but unfortunately, JJ could not be a contestant on season 17 because his doctor told him he had two blocked arteries. Immediately after finding out about his arteries, JJ had stints put in, he lost weight, and ate healthier. He then credits Survivor for saving his life and the audience applauds loudly. After Jeff wraps up his discussion with JJ, Jeff goes out into the audience and talks with JJ's coaching buddy, Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw says that he was shocked that JJ went on Survivor. Bradshaw then describes JJ as being very driven and motivated to do this show. Bradshaw concludes by saying that JJ wanted to do this show for years and everyone thought he was nuts for wanting to attempt it. But Terry Bradshaw tips his hat off to his buddy and says that he couldn't do what JJ did this season. This was a pretty good segment on JJ here. It's very rare that a person voted off early in the show would get this much attention at a Survivor reunion. But hey, JJ is a famous celebrity, so I can see why he got more focus than the average person who gets booted from the show early, lol. Overall, JJ is a nice guy and I'm glad he had such a great time on Survivor.
Next, Jeff talks briefly with Holly. He asks her to describe why she was so crazy in the first few days of the game before she turned it all around later on and became a great competitior. Holly says that it was hard having no sleep and missing her family in those first few days and she also says that she was really annoyed by Dan commenting on how rich he was all the time (these comments of course led to Holly stealing Dan's shoes and throwing them in the river back on episode 2 of this season. You can read about this incident in more detail in my review of Survivor Nicaragua Episode 2 which is available at this link: http://lunch.com/t/69uo .) Holly then apologizes to Dan for what she did to his shoes and she then gives him an ostrich cowboy boot to make up for it, lol. After this, Jeff asks Dan how rich he really is and Dan dodges the question by talking about how great his family is, lol. Overall, I'm glad Dan and Holly could let bygones be bygones and move on from the shoe incident. Those two weren't the best players this season, but they did an ok job and that's fine in my book, lol.
Jeff Probst decides to talk to Jane now (oh lord, here we go.....). Jeff asks Jane how she physically prepared herself for Survivor. Jane says that she ran, did a lot of pull ups, swam one to two miles a day, and learned how to build a fire. Even though I dislike Jane, I must say her physical preparation for this show was quite impressive. Later, Jeff asks Jane why she hated Marty so much. Jane responds by saying that she tried to make an alliance with Marty, Tyrone, and JJ on day one, but they weren't having it and she became upset because those three individuals pre-judged her. Jeff asks Marty whether Jane's comments are true or not. Marty (who never misses an opportunity to open his big fat egotistical mouth) confirms Jane's comments and says that it's true. He also adds that Jane aligning herself with Wendy and Jimmy T didn't help matters in her favor either. Marty concludes his pompous rant by saying that he'll never visit Jane or become friends with her anytime soon. God, Marty's mouth is so annoying. He really believes that he's better than every other human being on the planet. Marty, do us all a favor and please SHUT UP!!!!! Jane, I like the fact that you hate Marty, but you're no ray of sunshine either girl. So Jane, you can SHUT UP ALSO!!!!!!!! Marty and Jane were two of my least favorite contestants this season. Please don't bring either of these two back for an all star season. PLEASSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!
Jeff's next victim on tonight's hit list is Naonka (Yes, I hate Naonka, but I hate Jeff Probst even more. I was not looking forward to how Jeff would handle this convo with Naonka because of how childish Jeff acted toward her earlier this season). Jeff begins by asking Naonka if she is as terrible in real life as she was on the show (wow, Jeff asked her a reasonable question to start out with. Impressive, lol). Naonka says that when you first get onto the show, you have no idea how you're going to act. She says that she was a fool on Survivor this season, but she did what she needed to do in order to win. But forget all of this. Jeff asks Naonka the question that he has been dying to get out of his pathetic mouth all night. Jeff once again criticizes Naonka for quitting the game on episode 11 (you can read all about what happened on episode 11 by clicking on this link: http://lunch.com/t/5qrl ) and then asks her why she left the game. Naonka responds by saying she left the game because the weather conditions were bad and she couldn't stand it. After this, Jeff goes out into the crowd and interviews Naonka's mom who says that she is not surprised by Naonka's behavior on the show this season. Jeff then concludes this horrendous segment by saying that because of Naonka and Purple Kelly's decision to quit Survivor, they've implemented a new rule which states that anyone who quits Survivor in the future for any reason other than a medical one will now most likely not become a member of the jury afterwards. I don't really agree with that rule, but that's not what I'm upset about. I'm upset because Jeff's whole tone regarding this quitting situation has been completely uncalled for right from the start. Of all the reasons to criticize Naonka (and believe me, there are a lot of them), Jeff chooses her decision to quit as the most offensive. It's insane. I may not like Naonka, but Jeff's treatment of her regarding this quitting ordeal is just way over the top. I've been a big fan of Survivor for many years, but I think this incident is enough to make me stop watching the show for now. I'm also not going to review the next season of Survivor as well because of this incident (and a few other reasons also). Jeff needs to simply get his act together before I waste any more time watching this show. Bottom line. End of story.
Next up, Jeff tells everyone that the results are in for the sprint player of the season award. All season long, fans could go online to the CBS Survivor website or use their phone to vote for the player that they felt was the sprint player of the season. Jeff announces that the competition wasn't even close and that the winner for the sprint player of the season award is.....JANE!!!!!! (hmmm.....that's awfully funny. Jeff's favorite player from this season just "happens" to also be the most popular player amongst the fans. I'm sure the voting process was mostly legit, but I still wonder in the back of my mind whether Jeff and the producers tampered with the vote. I wouldn't put it past them to do that just so Jane could win. Jeff has stooped to a number of lows this season, so why wouldn't he stoop to ballot fixing as well? Just a thought). For being voted as the sprint player of the season, Jane receives a check for $100,000. I've always hated this part of the reunion show. It's annoying to see someone receive money on this show from the audience just for being popular. It's almost like a smack in the face to the actual winner of the season. Fabio might not be the best player in Survivor history, but he did win the game. The focus should be on him and not on someone else just because they're more popular with the fans. Giving money to someone who didn't win the game in this fashion clearly shows me that Jeff, the producers (and the fans) care more about sucking up to their favorite players than they do about what actually happened in the season. The fact is that Jane lost. Deal with it. Jane came in sixth place this season and therefore, she should receive sixth place money and nothing more. Why does Jane get to be more special than the other survivor contestants? I can understand why Fabio is more special than everyone else because he.....unlike Jane.....WON THE FREAKIN SEASON!!!!!!! But did Jane win Survivor? No, she didn't. But do Jeff and friends care about hard facts? No, they don't. They want Jane to be the star of this season and they're doing everything they can to make that happen, no matter how ridiculous. I'm really glad this season is over. This show has become "The Jeff Probst Show featuring Jane" and not Survivor. I'm really happy that I won't be reviewing the next season after having to sit through this garbage, lol.
Next, Jeff talks briefly with some of the other people who were voted off this season. Jeff asks Shannon if he regrets calling Sash gay and Shannon responds by saying "I Was Calling A Duck A Duck". In his mind, if it walked like a duck and talked like a duck, it was a duck. Yeah, Shannon has obviously learned nothing from the show, lol. Jeff also briefly talks with Wendy, Jimmy T, and Alina separately for a little bit. All three of them have regrets, but they seemed to enjoy their Survivor experience. But Jeff doesn't have time to talk further with the contestants from this season, oh no. Why talk with this season's contestants at their own reunion when you can talk with Boston Rob (from last season) who is sitting in the audience (rolls eyes). Jeff decides he's had enough of the Survivor Nicaragua cast and goes out in the audience to talk with Rob for a bit. Rob's wife (Amber from Survivor Australia and Survivor All Stars) just gave birth to their second child, a baby girl named Carina Rose. Rob describes the experience that he and his wife had driving to the hospital and giving birth. After Rob is done telling us this story, Jeff allows Rob to take us to commercial break. This has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever witnessed. What the hell does Boston freakin Rob have to do with THIS season of Survivor? Jeff has such a mancrush on Rob, it's pathetic. This is another reason why I can't stand Jeff Probst. Instead of devoting that time to talking to the rest of the Survivor Nicaragua cast (there were still quite a few contestants from this season up on that stage that Jeff didn't mention or talk with at all), he instead talks with someone from last season because he clearly cares more about Rob than he does about this season's cast. Look, I understand that Rob is popular and all. I know that people want to hear what he's been up to and all that jazz. But when you prioritize a former cast member over many current ones, it's just pathetic. The reunion should be primarily devoted to the CURRENT cast and Rob shouldn't receive air time over most of them just because he's very popular. Again, this is Jeff Probst's attempt to turn this into "The Jeff Probst Show featuring Boston Rob" and get away from the fact that this is the Survivor NICARAGUA reunion special (did you read that capitalized part, Jeff???? If not, let me repeat it for you. This is the Survivor NICARAGUA reunion special. NICARAGUA!!!!! This is not Survivor Heroes vs. Villains. That was last season. So Jeff, you can take the mic away from Rob and get back on stage and do your job, you idiot. I can't stand Jeff Probst sometimes. What a complete loser, lol.)
Now it is time for this reunion special to come to a close (thank god!!!). Jeff mentions that he took a break from shooting this season to go on an operation smile mission in Nicaragua that helps needy kids who are sick. Jeff then tells the audience that they can go to operation smile's website in order to donate money. Also, the proceeds from this year's Survivor auction will go to operation smile as well, so that's a nice addition as well. Jeff then plays a video clip hyping up the next season of Survivor, which will be called Survivor Redemption Island. This season will also take place in Nicaragua, but there will be a twist. This time, when a player is voted off, they will not leave the game. Instead, they will go to Redemption Island instead. Once two players have been voted out of the game, those two players will battle each other on Redemption Island in a challenge and the person who wins that challenge will have a chance to reenter the game. It sounds like a neat twist. But knowing Jeff Probst, he'll find some way to mess it up, I'm sure. Anyway, Jeff says goodbye to the audience and the reunion ends. This season is officially in the can. It's about time.
I wanted to thank everyone who read my reviews for this season of Survivor. I know I was harsh with my criticisms of Jeff Probst at times this season, but hey, he deserved it, lol. I won't be reviewing the next season of Survivor, but I had a fun time reviewing this season for the most part (that is, I had fun reviewing this season whenever Jeff Probst was NOT acting like a complete immature baby). Anyway, I hope you all liked my Survivor reviews and I'll talk to you all later. Take care. Thanks again, everyone. :-)
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