We can all pretend we’re above gossip, that we don’t like tacky TV dating shows, and we certainly don’t waste time reading US magazine, pouring over the dirty details of wannabe celebrities private lives…but of course we’d be lying! Or at least I would, and I suspect there are plenty of closet reality TV lovers out there as well.
Well lucky for you, I just couldn’t resist a break down on the final four bachelorette’s of The Bachelor. Though these ladies are not the most shocking choices (well, except for one), they all have their share of secrets that would make any normal, sane bachelor run the other way. Poor Jake, the naïve, whole-some pilot is in for some big surprises. In preparation for this evening’s “most shocking episode yet”, here are the final four:
She’s 23 and Sanford, Florida. She’s currently unemployed (but previously worked at Hooters). She’s the daughter of an ex-topless dancer and tire sales man. In her past she’s been engaged twice and married once. At 17 she was engaged to her pastor’s son, an engagement she ended after only six months (rumor has it his father wasn’t actually a pastor, just connect to the church). Then she met her ex-husband Josh, whom she dated for a few months before eloping. After six months of marriage to Josh she reportedly “drained his bank account” and cheated on him while he was away on military duty. And of course now she’s divorced. If that isn’t enough, now photos are circulating of her posing for a calendar wearing little to no clothing. The Analysis:
Why does Jake keep this girl around? Is he seeing something I’m not? Vienna has managed to make enemies with every other girl on the show. She has her eyes on the prize and is one of the most vocal girls when it comes to verbalizing how hard she’s falling for Jake.
But based on her prior relationship history, she really isn’t the type of girl you bring home to mom and dad. Jake seems to think she’s strong and that she provides the shoulder he needs to lean on. Despite warnings from the other girls in the house and her wacky, aggressive nature, Jake keeps her around. Let’s hope she doesn’t make the final three! Unfortunately, rumor has it that Vienna is his final choice! Could this rumor be a trick to get people to watch the show or the truth? Verdict:
She’s got to go!
Gia Her Background:
She’s 26 from Queens, NYC and a classically trained ballerina, turned swimsuit model. Despite her good looks she never had a boyfriend in high school (she’s admitted to being unpopular and insecure). However since getting breast implants and a nose job, she’s dated bad boys like ex-New York Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano and Ottawa Senators star Chris Campoli. The Analysis:
Gia seems sweet, sincere, shy, and a bit insecure. You don’t see her behind the scenes bad-mouthing other people or acting devious. Jake seems to have major chemistry with her and after having a one-on-one date the two seem very comfortable with each other. In the last show she asked him, “Is it okay to fall?” and he responded, “It’s okay to fall.” So, has Jake found his true love in Gia?
My thought is she’s probably a bit sneakier that she lets on and she’s undoubtedly high maintenance. She wore high heels camping! Is this girl really going to move to Texas for Jake? After the lust subsides, I don’t know how this relationship is going to jive long term. Verdict:
Likely to make it to the final three if the hometown date doesn’t scare Jake too much.
Her Background: She’s 25, from Newberg, Oregon and a college admissions representative. Her hang up? She was previously married to a cop for 15 months who cheated on her with a co-worker. Friends say she’s “sugar and spice and everything nice.”
The Analysis: She certainly seems nice and extremely innocent. Though frequently in tears when discussing her ex-husband and her previous marriage, she gives the impression that she wants to find true love and feels that marriage is still sacred. It seems her innocence and personality match Jake’s to a tee. However, behind the scenes shots show her being less then nice when it comes to talking about other girls on the show and comforting people in difficult situations. Perhaps there’s a dark side to Tenley that hasn’t fully been exposed?
The best choice for Jake. She’s strong, but innocent and wants what he wants. Ali
Her Background: She’s also 25, from Willamstown, Ma and living in San Francisco as an advertising sales rep. She’s dated multiple men whose first names start with “J” and she really likes older men.
The Analysis: Ali had one of the first one-on-one dates with Jake and she seemed like a fun-loving, down to earth girl that could make a good match for him. Though Jake likes her, it seems like he might have more chemistry with the other girls. In addition, Ali has tarnished her perfect image by becoming obsessed with Vienna. She can’t stop talking about her, bashing her and is so irritated by Vienna’s presence that her jealousy is apparent to everyone (including Jake).
Verdict: If she can reign in her obsession with Vienna, Ali has a decent chance. She may be a bit too outgoing and energetic for him though. I don’t really see this lasting.
So, there’s the final four. Jake’s got a difficult choice ahead of him. Though he claims to have fallen in love, his constant crying through entire rose ceremonies make me think he’s fallen in love with ALL of them. His intense emotional state seems to drag down all of his dates. Does anyone else think they should all be having more fun than they seem to? Jake needs to remember what he signed up for and relax a bit.
Let the drama begin!