THE COTTAGE is a great place to live but I certainly wouldn't want to visit because, as the villagers warn, strangers don't do very well around there. This film is a perfect example of how to make a horror film: take 1 part droll British humor, add 2 bumbling criminals, blend in 1 foul mouthed kidnap victim, pour in several gallons of bodily fluids (preferably red), and then hack, slash, rip, rend, slice and dice with everything from knives to rakes, shovels,and pick-axes until you think you've seen all the viscera there is to see--and then add that nice little surprise twist at the end. That's what I call entertainment!
The plot involves streetwise David (played by Andy Serkis) and his milquetoast brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) who when we meet them at the titular location are in the process of unloading a young woman they have just kidnapped for purposes of ransom. She is not happy. And she let's them know it at every opportunity. This girl has a mouth on her that sewer's would envy. And she's vicious too as Peter's, well, peter finds out the hard way on several occasions. What starts out as a none too simple kidnapping quickly escalates into a comedy of terrors as the girl's stepfather learns of their location and sends hit men after them. Unfortunately for the hit men find out that there are worse things out and about than them!
In a mere 91 minutes of unrated glee and gore, writer/director Paul Andrew Williams has fashioned an entertaining and rather original film that embraces several different genres as it rushes giddily towards its climax. This is not what I would normally think of as my kind of film were I reading a synopsis of it somewhere, but when all is said and done THE COTTAGE turned out to be just what I was looking for.
Highly recommended. Very nearly a 5.
