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The Slaughterhouse Massacre

Indy slasher throwback

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WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MASSACRE?

Dec 8, 2010

by FM_ALEX
posted in Movie Hype

Rating:

THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE

Have you ever seen the cover of a movie and been sold on it just by looking, have you ever actually read the quotes on said cover and actually believed what they said? Have you ever done all of these things and then been completely let down, well if you have chances are you watched this movie. The look of this movie and what it said on the case had made me a believer at the time, wish I could take that feeling back.

This flick is your typical Slasher film but without all of the fun stuff, well they tried but it just doesn't work. The film follows a group of high school teens [of course] in Texas [hate the stereotypes] who are out partying one night and decide to take a trip to the local slaughterhouse where they say the ghost of a killer lives. Aside from all the typical things here it sounds like it can be a fun throwback to the 80's right? I thought so to but it quickly becomes your average low budget killer flick, well average would be entertaining.

The movie falls into the "oh it is comical" area but then you realize even as bad as it seems it isn't even bad funny. The acting here is just straight up wooden and there is no getting around it, at times one or two of these kids seem like they are entertaining but that can't even save it. I mean there is literally the typical stoner guy and his name is stoner, really. The killer here has the right kinda twisted/hick look that could make him scary but his obvious mistakes take away from it. Seriously he literally throws windmill like strikes when he is swinging on these kids so it is easy for the actors to duck it. He also is very slow when throwing these and is off like crazy, at least in other flicks the kill attempts look like the killer is trying. Also while there was some promise at first with the gore I was waiting for a massacre that never came.

Now of course it is possible that I am being a bit to harsh because I was tricked into expectations, and there are a few good things going on here. For one is the first ten minutes or so of this flick, any body wanting some naked females will love the opening here. You not only get all kinds of tops off but full frontal as well, and even a good sex scene, also some girl on girl. Sure it isn't enough to save the movie but at least it is something, also regardless of the horrible stereotypes it is set in Texas. Any time a movie is set in Texas or Maryland I am a fan of that at least.

There is a quote on the front cover that says "more frightening than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I don't know which one of the many they meant but all of those films are way better than this. I hate writing reviews like this because I know a lot of work went into making these movies and who knows this may have been the best they could do at the time. If that is the case then I commend all involved in making this film happening and going further than all of these [internet critics] have. It is with that said that I will check out some other stuff by writer/director/star Paul Gagné, maybe as his career has progressed so has he, "Blood Predator" here I come.

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Madpenguin July 15, 2011

If you didn't find much good in this, then I'm sure i'll hate it.

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Butterfly1961 December 11, 2010

Oh Lord why is it so hard to find a good horror movie these days?!?! Too many try to imitate others and fail miserably; I won't be seeing this one for sure!!

FM_ALEX February 19, 2011

Skip it for sure

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woopak_the_thrill December 09, 2010

meh. sounds like a pretty mediocre film. Thanks for the warning! Whenever they say "horror event of the year" or "scarier than..", I know it's going to suck! Thanks, Alex!

FM_ALEX February 19, 2011

For sure

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More The Slaughterhouse Massacre reviews

Quick Tip by FM_ALEX. December 08, 2010

posted in Movie Hype

A Quick Tip by FM_ALEX

This flick is your typical Slasher film but without all of the fun stuff, well they tried but it just doesn't work.

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About the reviewer

FM_ALEX
Ranked #6

I basically am just a normal person obbsessed with Mixed Martial Arts, pro wrestling, movies of all kinds, music of all kinds, books of all kinds, and of course foods of all kinds. Just trying to keep … more