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Valentine's Day

A holiday celebrating love

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Do You Really Need a Holiday to Prove You Love Someone?

  • Jan 28, 2010
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I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day, definitely not when I was single and not even now as I'm engaged to the love of my life. I always found it ridiculous that people needed a holiday to profess their love to each other. I'd much rather you buy me flowers on a Tuesday because you're thinking of me, not because Hallmark tells you that you have to do it. Love, like life, should be celebrated every day.

Valentine's does nothing but, make people feel less than great. I've known single women that have gone to great lengths to find a date, just for Valentine's Day- so that they wouldn't be alone. They inspired me to start the anti-VD celebration in which I celebrated being single and all the wonderfulness it entails. I still celebrate anti-VD because I don't celebrate a "holiday" that makes people feel like something's wrong with them if they're not in a committed relationship or have a date or happen to be alone.

I say, if you're a couple- celebrate your love often, show your appreciation for each other on those random days when you're loved one crosses your mind. Pick a flower, make dinner, write them a letter...because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.

If you're single- grab onto my anti-VD stance and go out with a bunch of your friends, celebrate the fact that you are fabulous just the way you are and have a blast. You don't need to scour the world and the Net trying to find a date to make you feel less suicidal on a Hallmark holiday.

True love will give you the inspiration to be a better person or make you feel better about yourself every day of your life, not just on February 14.

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January 30, 2010
I've only had someone on Valentine's Day twice.  Ever.  And one of those times was a horrible experience.  I actually happen to like Valentine's Day because I never understood why someone HAD to be coupled up to enjoy it.  I think it goes well beyond just having someone on V-Day.  I've never felt less than great.  I often just celebrate with friends.  But if you go with that stance, we don't need well... any holiday.  St. Patrick's Day gets used as an excuse to drink... as does New Years.  April Fool's became a day to be an idiot and a total jerk to people.  MLK Day, President's Day, Labor etc... get used as days to take off.  Christmas became the king of Materialistic Holidays.  Even Thanksgiving would be useless in that sort of vain.

So I'm not really Anti-V-day, even if I've almost never had someone.  I don't feel useless... and if people do, I think you'll find that even outside of V-day they'd feel useless.  Christmas, would, in that case, be far far worse for a lot of people than V-Day in that regard, I think. 

But I honestly don't think it's about having someone.  I think it's about knowing you're loved... and while I agree that we don't need a holiday for that, I disagree that it's meaningless.  I had a friend in high school who made it a point to be Anti-V-Day because he never had someone.  What I discovered later was that it wasn't about him not having someone... it was about the fact that no one EVER showed him any love.  When I gave him a box of chocolates one year... he suddenly wasn't so bitter.  So is it always because they're single... or because they don't have that reminder that they're loved?  Like I said, I've almost never been with someone on V-Day but I can't take that Anti-V-Day stance because to me it was never about having someone or anything like that... it was about celebrating love.  But it doesn't have to be for that special someone.  Mine certainly haven't been.  Ever... even when I was with someone.  We'd do something but for the most part to me it's a day about showing love and appreciation for others not just that special someone.  Anti-V-Day seems more like a high school students dream than anything else. 

I sympathize, though... but if you're rushing out just to find a date for V-Day... uh, you don't need V-Day just to do that either.  It seems like most who do something like on V-Day are already being beaten up by being single already.  Most times I get together with friends and we express our love to one another.  But it's not to be "Anti-Valentine's Day," it's because that's what we feel Valentine's Day is all about.  It was never, in our minds, a day for just one special someone.  I actually wrote a review about it too.  My point is that, you don't need a day to celebrate and express your love.  But you also don't need a Holiday to give someone a gift, or to get drunk, or to give thanks for what you've got either.  But I wouldn't form an Anti-Christmas, Anti-St. Patrick's Day/New Years, Anti-Thanksgiving Stance just because I also find those Holidays to be just as platonic as Valentine's Day.  And if I did that on Christmas, especially, people would call me a Scrooge. 

I guess what I'm saying is that Valentine's Day, like many Holidays, is just as much about attitude as any other Holiday.  Christmas is often one of the most depressing days of the year in part because it became a materialistic holiday.  People get more angry and bitter on Christmas because they don't get as much than people do on Valentine's Day for being single.  At least around where I live they do. 

I like your write up, even agree with most points... but I never got onto the Anti-Valentine's Day bandwagon.  And while you don't need a holiday to express your love... I think in that case just about every holiday we celebrate has become an excuse for something else... and if I go Anti-Valentine's Day I'd someone be going against my own ideals in that case.
January 30, 2010
Thanks Sean for this incredibly insightful and thought-provoking comment. I'm not anti-showing love with our loved ones, just the opposite. I do see your point about every other holiday taking on some sort of other significance that is far from the original intent. Because I'm guilty of it....and you're right Christmas has become the mother load of materialistic holidays and it's my fave...not because of the gifts but, because I get to be with my loved ones and give back to those that are less fortunate.

I've experienced friends that become especially pressured on V Day- that's been my experience and I wanted them to focus on how fab they are, not how shitty life is because everyone on one day is all-consumed with some BS notion of love. Though you may be right and they may feel this way every other day, it's brought much more up to the forefront on Valentine's. I would tell them the same thing on any other day that I tell them on Valentine's Day. So, my stance is more empowering my friends instead of being a Valentine hater. I'm not going to throw a fit if Fernando buys me dinner or wants to be romantic, for that matter- I just don't want to rub anyone's nose in it.
January 28, 2010
A different take on Valentine's Day but I find your stance quite credible and very reasonable. Lots of holidays depress many people so I think your advice for singles is very savvy and worthwhile. Don't let it get you down! I was never much for New Years Eve either for many of the same reasons you cite. A well thought out piece.  However, I do agree with Scotman that rating the day a -5 might be a bit much.
January 29, 2010
Thanks, Paul- yeah I changed it to a -3 because of what I told @Scotman. I was in an anti-mood when I rated it the -5 LOL. I'm not big on NYE either, too much pressure...
January 28, 2010
You have some interesting points, Samantha, and I commend you for taking a stand. I see Valentine's Day as just another opportunity to spend with those I love be it family, friends, or a significant other. I also respect the traditions behind most holidays as they somehow relate to my religious faith. I'm a history buff, so I love studying the "facts" and mysteries behind our everyday celebrations. Since entering college, I have learned to value the idea of "V Day" because of its associations with the "Vagina Monologues." I had the esteemed pleasure to perform in a couple of the yearly shows before I moved into my graduate study. It is really powerful presentation.
January 29, 2010
I LOVE V Day and have directed and acted in the "Vagina Monologues" quite a few times. It really is a powerful play and Eve Ensler is just fantastic. Which is your favorite part or which parts did you perform?
January 31, 2010
I don't know if I could pick just one part as my favorite. I really like the whole production, and how it explores the different issues and problems women of different ages, race, creeds, etc. have to face. I used to play a part in the period monologue (the girl who said the blood looked like paint). I also played a role when they added the war stories concerning the war in the Middle East. I have been wanting to perform in it again, but I keep being busy around that time of the year!
January 28, 2010
I'm with ya on this, love!  I'd give V-Day a slightly higher rating, but I feel your sentiments exactly.  Love should be celebrated year round.  Great review! 
January 29, 2010
Thanks, hon! I just don't like how it makes some people feel like [bleep] because they happen to be single. And love should be celebrated every day, well, when you don't feel like choking him LOL...
January 28, 2010
I'm not a big "holiday" person anyway (VD included). Most of them seem to be a product of the greeting card industry.
January 29, 2010
LOL...that's like saying Budweiser invented Super Bowl...oh wait....they call it the Bud Bowl ;p
January 28, 2010
I agree with what you have here, Sam, and I like what you wrote. It is just a holiday aimed to promote big business and a couple needs to be more intimate anyway in every day of their life together. I don't need no freakin' day to buy her flowers or anything. Before/Every V-day prices (for flowers and sweets) sky-rocket far worst than Christmas. My V-days are usually quiet but real fun (made alist of a practical V-day just for fun!) . Nice write up and I love your last line!
January 29, 2010
Oooh, I'm going to check out your list right now! Thanks, Woo ;p
More Valentine's Day reviews
review by . February 10, 2010
posted in Inspirations
It all begins with a kiss
Some dislikes it for its commercial aspects, some for its showy aspect, some for the simple reason that there is no one to celebrate it with.      Valentine's Day is not about having to prove one's love. It is not about having to spend the evening with candlelight dinner nor is it about boxes of chocolates. It is about having someone to love and someone to share intimacy with. The story begins with a single kiss... & where all that may leads.      …
Quick Tip by . February 14, 2012
Outside of Christmas, Valentine's Day is probably the most commercial holiday out there. Telling someone you love them or showing them that you love them is something that you should do every day, but setting aside one specific day to focus a little bit more on love sounds like a great idea to me and for that, I give February 14th a plus four. However, florists, card companies, candy companies, and even lingerie companies, have turned Valentine's Day into a day of excessive and pointless gifts, …
review by . February 15, 2011
*taken from my blog at www.dalydose.com      Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap as a corporate holiday, but in reality it is…well, it’s so much worse. It’s so bad that it doesn’t even warrant a day off for our valiant postal workers. In fact they have to work extra hard on this day. You can take that to bank. I mean, literally, you can take it to the bank because the banks are open on this “holiday”. To make matters worse, this is the …
review by . January 29, 2010
So Valentine's Day is coming up and while I've always been indifferent about the day, I am usually annoyed by some of the people on the day.  Now I know what you're thinking, "The people who are all sucking face and making cute noises to one another and the married couples who put on their Calender that this is one of the days of the year they're actually allowed to have sex with one another... yeah they annoy the hell out of me too!"  Actually, no.  I rather adore …
review by . February 24, 2009
For a whole  24 hours those in love, lust, denial, acceptance and forgiveness celebrated Valentine's Day. And there isn't a place you can go to escape it. Every place I turned I saw hearts, flowers and goofy-grinned couples.      Pairs were everywhere and in everything: A tow-truck pulling a car, men and women, men and men, women and women, candy and flowers, a construction worker hammering a nail (that may have been a three-some, but you get the point). Hell, even the bums …
Quick Tip by . January 28, 2010
I love the meaning & history of this holiday, but I hate what commercialization has done to it.
Quick Tip by . February 10, 2010
The first time after 57 years that VD falls on the same day as Chinese New Year! What a special Feb. 14 this is! The next time? 38 yrs later
Quick Tip by . January 28, 2010
posted in Inspirations
True love is unconditional, a sacrifice and compromise, not flowers and candy one day a year. I don't buy the hype :)
About the reviewer
Samantha ()
Ranked #14
I'm a human jukebox that is constantly changing my station depending on my mood!   Feel free to share your passion with me in my communities: Pass the Remote!, Hip Hop Culture, Wedding Planning … more
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Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the English-speaking countries, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines". Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th century America, where many Valentine cards are now general greeting cards rather than declarations of love, was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States. It's considered one of the Hallmark holidays.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, ...

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