*taken from my blog at www.dalydose.com
Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap as a corporate holiday, but in reality it is…well, it’s so much worse. It’s so bad that it doesn’t even warrant a day off for our valiant postal workers. In fact they have to work extra hard on this day. You can take that to bank. I mean, literally, you can take it to the bank because the banks are open on this “holiday”.
To make matters worse, this is the most exclusionary holiday on the calendar. Another saint’s day, Patrick to be exact, doesn’t require one to be Irish; anyone can get filthy drunk on this holiday. That’s inclusion. President’s Day is coming up next and we’ve all voted for somebody that won. If you didn’t vote, then you have probably at least been screwed by presidential policies at some point. We all get to enjoy the holiday. As I rack my brain, every single holiday other than Valentine’s Day is for us all.
What about this day devoted to St. Valentine?
This is the day for lovers, where the romance can be found in mass produced cards and overpriced boxes of chocolates. This relationship status-ist holiday, categorically excludes over 50 million adult Americans. (Source CNN) When will the politicians stand up for what is right? What they don’t have the courage to do, I will embrace. Where they fear even to whisper, I will pontificate with volume. The tyranny of the single must end.
All is not bleak, my friends. I have some thoughts, suggestions, stories, etc. Please follow along…
- If you read my Resolutions for Single Guys, you know that when the corporate marketing machine causes people to be vulnerable, you need to act. Take advantage and score a date with someone who on 364 other days of the year would be out of your league. That’s it…just do it.
- Think of all the sucker guys who forgot to buy their Valentine's loot. They have to buy the overpriced flowers and candy on street corners and parking lots on the way home from work. They aren’t fooling anyone and they’ll still get “the look” when they get home.
- Speaking of flowers and candy, I say celebrate your love for yourself on February 15th. You’ll enjoy your treats for 50% off the overstock. This way you’ll be honoring the most unconditional love in your life...yourself. You'll also be sticking it to the vultures that charged 100% more just 24 hours earlier.
- Spread the love by treating Valentine’s Day as you did in grade school; give everyone the positive treatment. I posed that challenge to my Facebook friends today. They wrote on my wall and I wrote on theirs. We “traded” valentines.
- I went out to a “take Valentine’s back” party on the 13th. You may have seen my picture of the day posting about it. It was great to be around a bunch of people who never really brought up Valentine’s Day and who don’t feel desperately single. In fact, this group has upgraded their relationship to “Singular”. Hey, find out more for yourself at www.singularcity.com.
- I would be falsely humble if I didn’t self promote a bit. It’s been a long time since I promoted my short film, “Stuck”. Seriously, this is a single person’s cult film so go watch it. You’ve already seen it? That’s OK, watch it again!
There you have it. That’s MY “funny Valentine” for 2011. Now, I need to go make myself dinner and then stroll over to the mirror, look myself directly in the eye and say “You are my number 1”. I’d go on to say that I was my own number 2, but the mirror is in the bathroom and it doesn’t seem right.
Happy Valentine’s Daly!
