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You Lost Me There

A novel by Rosecrans Baldwin

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What happens when your memories can't be trusted?

  • Sep 20, 2010
I found this story, about an Alzheimer's researcher and the wife he lost in a car accident, not only interesting but touching. It is not a happy story nor, for me, was it a weepy one. At it's core, it was the story of a man who knows all about the brain but little about emotion. In fact, a wounded ex-girlfriend accuses him of having "Alzheimer's of the emotions."

Victor spent his life so consumed with his work that the rest of his life went on without him; except he doesn't realize it. He thinks he had a good life and a happy (if sometimes troubled) marriage. After his wife dies in an accident, he finds notes she had left behind--not TO him, but ABOUT him--an exercise assigned by a marriage counseler they'd seen in the past.

Through these cards, Victor realizes that his life, his wife, his marriage...none of it was what he thought it was. Here, this expert in the brain and its memories comes to the jarring realization that his recollections about his wife, Sara, their marriage and particular events in their lives may not be accurate. This revelation, as well as some of the profoundly hurtful things Sara says about him on the cards, shake him to the core and magnify the grief of her loss.

I usually have a hard time getting through a book where some characters are so unlikeable but, for whatever reason, that didn't bother me much in this book (though Aunt Betsy did get on my nerves). Unlike a lot of books I've read this year, the cast of characters here is blessedly short--only about half a dozen. They are all colorful and flawed characters--some more than others.

The writing is quite good, and keeps the story flowing very well. I never had a problem staying interested in this story--I was always eager to pick it up from the nightstand. Be prepared for this story to make you think about whether your relationships are really as they seem.

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January 09, 2012
This sounds like a really intriguing read that I'd love to check out! Don't you always wonder if you and those that are in your life are on the same page? When I was younger, I had a tendency to lie (not about anything super serious but, just about stupid stuff to make myself look cooler, like I was a surfer or knew someone famous) but, the experience left me constantly questioning which memories are true and which ones I convinced myself were true so that I could really sell them to people. This book sounds like something I'd really enjoy and could probably relate to- thanks for sharing!
January 09, 2012
Yes, I do wonder! Like in romantic relationships, especially in early stages, when one person sometimes feels more strongly about the other than is reciprocated, I sometimes wonder about friendships. Does this person have my back as I think they do? Is this person really my friend or do they just pay me lip service? When I was working full time, there were people I thought were my friend, but as soon as I retired, I stopped hearing from them. I realized that I was only a person to talk to, someone to listen to all their personal problems, and not really a friend. That kind of thing is always a tough realization.
January 09, 2012
yes, it is! I had a couple of friendship wake up calls last year with planning my wedding and lost who I thought was my best friend of 18 years. Another "friend" borrowed a lot of money only for me to never hear from her again...so I had a big year of that. I'm hoping to not repeat that this year. It's always hard to realize that the other person doesn't think of you the same way.
January 09, 2012
Yep, it sure can be painful! I have a very small circle of IRL friends but a large circle of online friends. I take my online friendships pretty seriously--not just every person I know online, but those with whom I have developed a friendship over time. But a lot of people consider online friendships disposable, throwaway. I've had a number of cases where I've talked to someone every day or very regularly over a long period of time and suddenly they just disappear. Usually I hear at some later point that they got into a relationship. It hurts knowing you weren't even worth an email to say "Something wonderful has happened in my life!"
January 11, 2012
That's pretty amazing that they wouldn't want to share that with you. I always find it disconcerting, to say the least, when any friend leaves you because they're in a relationship. Friendships are so important in life, they are the sun to your garden and to shade yourself under a big tree doesn't do you any good. One day, you're going to miss that sunshine and wonder why it's always raining. This is why I like the Community here at Lunch, I've met some wonderful online friends who I feel are genuinely happy for the good things in my life as well as sorry when the bad things happen. As I get older, I treasure my real friends more and more.
January 11, 2012
The whole "leaving your friends in the dust because you found a man/woman" thing is a hot button issue for me. I think it speaks volumes about the person in question and lets me know they were not really my friend in the first place.
January 12, 2012
Exactly! Now, if only there was some way to know that they're were going to do that before you got into the relationship, it'd save a lot of time!
December 05, 2010
There is a saying that we each have our own realities in life. One can't simply go into another person's consciousness or reality to actually know what he/she feels like. Hence, intimacy is experienced only up to the state where one is willing to open up oneself. All emotions are felt differently between different people. In that respect, love is selfish. As for relationship, we can never truly count on people 100% until the day things are being tested. Someone whom you consider the greatest friend might not see you that way. Hence, husband and wife have secrets & realities of their own :-) This book sounds interesting!
May 25, 2011
Wow! Very deep thoughts, Sharrie!
About the reviewer
Sheri ()
Ranked #69
I have been a customer reviewer on Amazon.com for well over a decade and an Amazon Vine reviewer since the program began. I enjoy writing product reviews that will help customers make a buying decision. … more
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