This movie has everything-- predictable plot, wooden acting, monsters, bad guys, selfless heroes, villainous professors, pretty heroines, bombs, guns and explosions (although my husband noted that there wasn't much nudity or sex.) We had a great time making fun of it, guessing what was going to happen next (which wasn't hard; we were right every time) and laughing at the incredibly bad dialogue. This would be a good movie to watch on Halloween night with the kids who are too old for trick or treating. Turn off the lights, turn on the movie and let 'er rip.
Half a star out of **** Uwe Boll's "Alone in the Dark" has nothing to do with the somewhat-forgotten and underrated 1982 slasher film of the same name. It is, instead, a big-screen adaptation of the popular video game franchise; which comes to no surprise, since Boll is infamous for merging video games with cinema and creating the most repulsively bad and intellectually assaultive pieces of shit ever. This is my first Uwe Boll film, and now I see why he has been greeted by … more
Pros: nada Cons: a conglomeration of yuck The Bottom Line: “Alone in the dark, where the demons are torturing me The dark passage of revenge is all that I see” ~performed by Testament I’ll be the first to step forward and admit I don’t watch good movies. I tend to lean to turkey’s because they are just so idiotic. However, I don’t need this pointed out to … more
vAs another entry in the video-game-to-movie genre,Alone in the Darkcertainly delivers in terms of its splattering gore and number of things that get shot or blown up with the kind of arsenal familiar to any fan of games that allow the player to shoot or blow things up. You could argue that some game-based movies have been big successes--gauged either by audience appeal or box office scores. Even though a lot of hardcore gamers probably won't care,Alone in the Darkis not of that ilk. At least theResident EvilandTomb Raiderseries had some interesting characters and locations (not to mention sexy stars). ButAlone in the Darkis crippled from the first by a mundane setting of caves, laboratories, and street-fighting backgrounds as well as a cast (including Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, and Tara Reid) that couldn't be less interested in the overly complex plot. The absurdity starts right away with a long expository pre-title text crawl that carries all the gravitas of a "Monty Python" sketch intro. The gist of the plot has a group of scientists, special-ops military guys, and paranormal freaks and geeks investigating evil creatures that were once harnessed by an extinct subset race of Native Americans. Unleashed again, the creatures must be destroyed, which is where the video game blasting and attendant gore comes into play. Considering the cult following the game series carries (the first installment is over a decade old),Alone in the Darkcould find a nice ...