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Anaconda

A movie directed by Luis Llosa

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Anaconda - look, I can swallow my own tail

  • May 28, 2001
  • by
Rating:
-3
Pros: The movie is over

Cons: The movie started and I watched it all

The Bottom Line: Watch it for Kari Wuhrer only

Sssssnakes have never bothered me, unlike those arachnids, but this isn't your ordinary sssssnake! This is the Anaconda, biggest and baddest of them all, with a nasty eating habit. Ssssso, if sssssnakes aren't your cup of tea, ssssstay away from this baby.

The movie stars Eric Stoltz for about 10 minutes, as the anthropotgist in search of the elusive anaconda worshiping Shirishama tribe. Joining him in his little adventure is Jennifer Lopez as the director of the movie Stoltz is making, and Ice Cube as the cinematographer. While gliding down the Amazon they run into marooned snake hunter, Jon Voight, who promises them the way to the Shirishama tribe.

Voight, instead, has his own agenda and it is big, it is bad and it is hungry.

This movie is tripe in its' best form. Meaningless, mindless and meandering. They try SO HARD to make an agreeable movie, but with Stoltz going down at the beginning of the movie and spending 3/4 of it languishing in bed with a fever, they are stretching it. Add Lopez, it is her first gig as a director and she goes on this unbelievable trek through some of the most unpopulated areas of the world, ain't happening.

I guess she and Stoltz were just there so we would have a love interest, one, and so that you would have someone to gasp over when the snake attacks, two. Otherwise, their roles were pretty weak. Ice Cube was a much better study in the movie, he at least was believable as a person schlepping through the jungle. He looked trim and fit and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Even so, they had him sloshing through the water, chest deep, knowing perfectly insane snakes were slithering about.

Jon Voight, however....eeeccchhhh! Wanna kill him. Wanna feed him to the snakes. Wanna do bad and evil things to him. He is merciless, he is evil, he is sinister. Hell, HE is a snake! What a wonderful adaptation he made to this role, and I loved his accent. Totally unrecognizable from his other presentations.

The snake was great. Big, ugly, nasty, evil. Don't know if they used a little snake and blew him up with computers or if he was a man made snake, don't care. He was a good one.

The scenery was foreboding in and of itself. I couldn't even pretend to enjoy making a film under those circumstances. I believe it was filmed in Brazil, but I didn't check the credits. The cinematographer however was Bill Butler, of Jaws fame, so he knows how to zoom in on those dastardly snake shots. Wish I could recommend this tripe to you, just for the evilness of Voight. But the movie is truly bad, almost sssssinfully sssssinister, and it truly sssssucks!

OH, I FORGOT~Kari Wuhrer is in it too, previously of Sensations fame. How in the devil could I forget Kari?

Recommended:
No

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More Anaconda reviews
review by . December 20, 2007
posted in Movie Hype
This is the essence of a great popcorn movie. Lots of fun, and things jumping out and scaring the characters, and the audience. The weakest part of the film is the Anaconda, which looks very computer-generated (because it is, of course!). The director wisely keeps the snake shots to a minimum, and the result is a creepier picture.
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Susi Dawson ()
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About this movie

Wiki

This giant-man-eating-snake-in-the-jungle thriller definitely scores points as a guilty pleasure, especially with Jon Voight hamming it up as the monster-poacher. He makes life miserable for a team of documentary filmmakers on the Amazon river.Anacondais one of those movies that exists for no other reason than to give computer animators a chance to strut their stuff with a new digital beastie, and they don't disappoint. It's a lot of fun to watch the mega-snake scarf down its victims and--in the case of Voight--regurgitate 'em right back up again, all covered in gooey digestive juices. You might wonder why Eric Stoltz, who plays Dr. Steven Cale, showed up for a role that requires him to be off-screen for most of the movie, but hey--when it comes to big snake movies, you might as well put your brain on hold and sit back for the slimy ride.--Jeff Shannon
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Details

Director: Luis Llosa
Screen Writer: Jack Epps Jr., Hans Bauer, Jim Cash
DVD Release Date: August 27, 2002
Runtime: 89 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures
First to Review
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