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Apollo 18

A movie directed by Gonzalo López-Gallego

< read all 5 reviews

Lazy, devoid of scares, and stupid.

  • Sep 17, 2011
Rating:
-3
*1/2 out of ****

Creepy is as creepy does. You may find what I call "cheap jump scares" to be the real deal, while I consider them to be...well, cheap jump scares. It's all a matter of opinion (or interest, or taste, or all-around decency) whether a horror film truly scares the viewer. There are horror films that I dislike that many others have enjoyed, and oh, I would have loved to love them too. But I can't lie; critics simply cannot do so. However, casual viewers might enjoy themselves at the theater whether they liked the movie they saw or not. But I know with this particular film, I didn't.

I'm sitting here, trying to write a proper review for "Apollo 18", which is, to my disappointment, a film that doesn't quite deserve such formal, decent treatment. After all, it isn't really a decent film, now is it? But as I said, it's all a matter of opinion. I know people who might find the film entertaining - or at least not as boring as I found it to be. They are respected. But this film...it is not. That would actually be close to disrespect; the complete opposite, but not towards the film, rather the horror genre as a whole. I know a bad horror movie when I see one. And "Apollo 18" is pretty darn bad.

The film uses the nigh-gimmicky "found-footage" approach to filmmaking as its only source of advertising bait. It gets its audience through this gimmick; claiming that the events shown on digital film truly did happen. In this case, the evidence we are witness to can be described as followed: the previously cancelled Apollo 18 mission-to-the-moon is secretly given the "go" signal, and those involved are sent into orbit. They arrive at the moon and start examining the rocks and craters. Things seem to be going well enough for them, that is, until strange things begin to happen.

The rocks appear to be moving, implies the footage. An astronaut explores a crater and discovers a rotting corpse. Something isn't right. To make matters worse, we're hearing Predator-esque little noises while watching a good portion of this footage, so SOMETHING must be out there. But what?

It would seem that there are extraterrestrials on the moon. Here, they come in the form of (spoiler, spoiler!) rock-spiders. Yes, you heard right; rocks that transform into little spider things, which crawl inside your suit and infect your body. This means that those supplying you with the opportunity to go to the Moon in the first place probably won't allow you to return home, because there is a risk of an outbreak. The astronauts on board the crafts take this into account, and try to cope with the situation in any ways they can.

What went wrong here? I guess I'll begin with the film's villain. First off, it needs a better one. The rock-spiders are predictable and devoid of atmosphere. When we see them, we don't feel frightened; we actually want to laugh, or at least that's how I felt. In this case, the villains just aren't well-used here, given that rock-spiders probably sounded like a good idea on paper, but when it translates to a film as bad as this one, it doesn't exactly create a pretty picture. The only decent thing that the filmmakers do here is keep their villain in the dark for as long as they can, but when the infections spread and the characters start screaming all over the place, I get pissed, annoyed, and sleepy.

There isn't much to say about the film, because there wasn't much that I felt. The outcome of the flick was predictable; I mean, what did I expect? Still, I'll admit that I anticipated the flick quite a bit, and was completely open to enjoying it, but I go to these sorts of movies to have fun. Wouldn't you? And when you don't enjoy yourself, or feel the horror tingling in your spine, the film has not served its purpose. "Apollo 18" is an underachiever in just about every way.

*Also, despite any suspicious claims, this film's false-ness has been officially confirmed. If you ever believed that it was "real" in the firs place, then boy, was this movie made for you.

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More Apollo 18 reviews
review by . September 03, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Movies such as “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity” rely on the power of suggestion in order to generate the feeling of suspense and of a frightening situation. “Apollo 18” takes the same gimmick and suggests that the film has been edited from 84 minutes of actual footage uploaded by an “unknown someone” on the internet. The film suggests that it is real, and that you are about to see some real footage much like what “The Fourth …
review by . September 15, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
   Apollo 18      This is a movie with tremendous potential.  Unfortunately, it was ruined by an insistence upon making the entire movie appear as bad as the actual videos sent from the moon were in the early 1970s.  There was no reason for this.  Ron Howard didn’t have to do that when making Apollo 13.  He understood that it was a film meant to entertain.  That purpose cannot possibly be served by making every scene virtually unwatchable. …
review by . January 08, 2012
APOLLO 18 Breaks Ground As A Guilty Pleasure, At Best
   APOLLO 18:   As I’ve said elsewhere, I think it’s hard not to enjoy a quality conspiracy, and mankind’s only manned off-world moon missions have been the subject of quite a few.  First, there’s the one that claims that the United States never went to moon, that it was all faked, shot on a soundstage somewhere in California, Arizona, or New Mexico.  Then, there’s the one that claims the Apollo missions were actually the cover story; what …
review by . September 03, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Star Rating:         During the 1960s and ‘70s, several missions of the Apollo program were cancelled by NASA. These included Apollos 18, 19, and 20 – the Moon-landing missions. The official reason was budget and scheduling constraints. Apollo 18, the newest discovered-footage mockumentary, is founded on the premise that the Apollo 18 mission actually was launched in December of 1974, only for the crew to never return and for the American government to seal …
About the reviewer
Ryan J. Marshall ()
Ranked #11
It's very likely that the only kind of reviews I'll ever post here are movie reviews. I'm very passionate about film; and at this point, it pretty much controls my life. Film gives us a purpose; … more
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Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Release Date: 22 April 2011 (USA)
Screen Writer: Brian Miller, Cory Goodman
First to Review
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