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Bite Me!

Horror Comedy movie

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Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes

  • Feb 5, 2010

"One of the cool things about stop motion animation is you need to build these little guys. Because if you're doing CGI monsters, aside from the fact that they're expensive and generally look like crap, {is} someone can't come to your studio and you can't pick up the monster and say,  'Look, this is him, this is the monster from the movie' because he doesn't exist. He's just a bunch of pixels and algorithms and stuff somewhere on a hard drive."  Brett Piper writer/director of BITE ME!

I don't know about you but I gotta love a guy with that kind of attitude toward movie making, a guy who appreciates the importance of the artifacts even if they are only from a direct to video movie like BITE ME! It put me in mind of when I found myself with six feet of Ray Harryhausen (YES! Ray Harryhausen!!) as he was packing up some of the models he had brought to a retrospective of his work at Chicago's Music Box Theater. We were virtually alone as the theater emptied and apparently I said something because he turned and looked at me. I was stunned because I had no idea I had said anything at all much less had a clue to what it might have been, so I just faked it and gushed about how I had grown up loving his movies and how I had never thought I would meet him or be so close to the little creatures who had dazzled me as a kid--something like that at any rate, I can't swear to it. Apparently he's quite accustomed to this sort of thing and smiled wearily and returned to packing. He may have said thank you. Piper's comment  also brought back memories of my tour of Forry Ackerman's collection and one of the items there that had most impressed me the most--it was one of the original models from KING KONG, the stegosaurus It had been  found in a warehouse, half eaten away by rats but was now safely under glass where it would be protected and cherished hopefully forever.Yeah, I know, even the best of Piper's flix don't begin to compare to KING KONG, but Piper gets it and that's why I find his films enjoyable. Which brings us to----

BITE ME! released in 2004,  centers around a strip joint, the Go Go Saurus Club (so called because of the 50 foot Godzilla in the backyard) which is in dire straits financially,  the club, not Godzilla.  Money is the least of their problems however, because tonight manager/owner Ralph (Michael R. Thomas) is expecting a shipment of marijuana, which unbeknownst to him is the result of a government bio-engineering experiment gone awry, as such things always do in movies and, I suspect, in real life too. To further complicate matters a renegade DEA agent is hot on the trail of the illicit drugs, and this guy is such a nut job that even the agency won't have him anymore, so he sees cracking this case as his big chance to get his job back and he intends to let nothing stand in his way. Certainly not Ralph, nor uptight Teresa (Julian Wells) who's trying to buy the strip joint out from under him, not a tawdry little bunch of strippers (headed up by Misty Mundae as Crystal), and definitely not Buzz (Rob Monkiewicz) a good hearted but brain dead exterminator who's called in to deal with the REAL problem du jour--the spiders that have gotten into the weed and  have turned into blood sucking monsters!

While BITE ME! is not quite as well put together or satisfying a film as Piper's ARACHNIA which  featured Monkiewicz going all Bruce Campbell on some stop motion spiders, it's still an entertaining film that earns it's 4 stars by virtue of it's stop motion--nobody does that stuff any more. Now don't misunderstand me here, the animation is not going to blow you away but it IS a bit more complicated than what he's attempted before. So we've got stop motion, and we've got comedy. I'm a pushover for anything that doesn't take itself too seriously and nobody is going to accuse this film of that. Ever. Mundae fans will get a kick out of her change of character after being bitten by one of the spiders, it's a side effect of the venom--it changes your personality 180 degrees. Her somewhat mousy character dons camouflage, straps on a gun, grabs a few sticks of dynamite, and goes all Rambo on arachnid ass. Monkiewiz is playing against type all through the movie. No macho hero this time. Just a dork with a goatee and a spray can. And for all of you who are waiting with baited breath--yes, there are naked girls in the strip club, after all they are strippers. Be warned however that there are no Double Ds here. Misty Mundae (bless her soul) is a Double A, which is smaller than an A guys, not bigger. But to salve your wounds there is also some girl on girl action for you which results from the man crazy bartender being bitten by a bug and, well, 180 degrees.

Rating: 3.75, but I just can't help giving it a 4 because Piper gets it.

HYPE FACTOR: Zero. It's one of those flix that just turns up in the video store.
Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes Cute Little Bugs with Bad Attitudes

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August 29, 2010
Now this sounds like something I must own, it seems like I have this but never opened or something.
August 29, 2010
I think you might have some fun with it. If not, there's always the naked girls aspect.
February 09, 2010
stop-motion animation rules! I am in! At first glance, I thought you had reviewed a vampire movie because of the movie's title.
February 10, 2010
It would be a great title for a vampire flick set in Brooklyn or the Jersey shore. =) I can seen Snookie now...
February 07, 2010
You had me with your first mention of stop motion animation, although strip clubs are icky. Nice job!
February 07, 2010
I know what you mean, but I'll put up with a lot to see stop motion. There aren't that many people who'll do it these days.
February 08, 2010
I'd die to see 3-D animation fall out of favor, so that stop motion could come back. Damn you Steven Spielberg!
February 08, 2010
I just successfully viewed my first 3D ANYTHING last year. It made me wish they'd re-release CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON in 3D so that I could see what I missed the first time around.
February 08, 2010
How does a black and white film work in 3-D?
February 08, 2010
All the early 3D flix were in black and white. But don't ask me, I had amblyopia. They didn't work for me. The had red and blue lines around the picture.
February 13, 2010
I was just thinking about how your review title could describe my cousin's kids. LOL!
February 13, 2010
That tells me a lot about them. Of course most kids are like that--some of them only on a GOOD day.
February 16, 2010
Well, they're pretty cool and thankfully are maturing, so that makes it easier. However, when they were younger they could raise hell, especially the youngest. One time when I took her to Walmart, she literally got on the floor and grabbed hold of my ankles and would not let go, so I had to actually drag her through three isles and the check out with her hanging onto me. Now, I'm not easily embarrassed, but that was awful. Made me realize that if I have kids, I'm adopting. Apparently, our family has "nutty" genetics.
; )
February 16, 2010
Good thing you weren't recorded for posterity. Although that's not as damning as dragging 'em by a leash.
February 16, 2010
Trust me, it was worse for me than her. She was laughing and singing the entire way. Me, not so much.
February 18, 2010
I'm sure it was. Overcoming embarrassment is the first major challenge of parenthood.
February 18, 2010
No, no. Childbirth is the first major challenge of parenthood. : )
February 18, 2010
Only for women. And it doesn't last nearly as long as the embarrassment a badly behaved kid can cause.
February 18, 2010
Not necessarily. I know quite a few very ignorant, conservative hicks around here who couldn't even look at their wives without blushing after watching them give birth. It's always amusing how shocked some people can be by bodily functions and anatomy.
February 18, 2010
That's private embarrassment. It can't hold a candle to what a kid can do to you in a public place. Especially the smart ones who start screaming "Help! Help! She's not my mommy!"
February 18, 2010
LOL! I've seen that one before. The worst was one time when a kid intentionally peed his pants just to embarrass his father while waiting in the checkout line at a grocery store. That was just vicious.
February 18, 2010
Think of that when we're talking about embarrassment. They can get really creative when they want to. But even when it's just plain whinning and wailing at the top of their lungs until everyone within a 100 yard raidus is glaing at you and wishing you dead, it's worse than giving birth because it just goes on forever.
More Bite Me! reviews
Quick Tip by . May 01, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Strippers and stop motion spiders at the Go Go Saurus Club mean there's something for everybody. Brett Piper's horror comedy stars Misty Mundae as a clueless stripper and Rob Monkiewicz as as an exterminator called in to deal with the troublesome arachnids.
About the reviewer
karen ()
Ranked #21
I am the poster child for inertia. Where ever I am is where I plan to stay FOREVER.   So much so in fact that it took me decades to understand the punchline about why   the chicken … more
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About this movie



Genre: Drama
Release Date: January 1, 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated

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