Cons: Grier without a doubt and Dogg not all that great
The Bottom Line: special effects not enough to make a movie even with Bianca Lawson in it
It was a stormy night, wind blowing the tree out front and whistling through the windows. Lightning flashing and thunder rumbling, ghostly sounds and eerie feelings. The small hairs on my neck were sizzling, I was alone except for my thoughts and I could hear the house breath around me. What would be better than a nice creepy movie to watch? Alas, as I searched the 2 million channels on my TV, I was astounded at how many of the poorly made movies I had already watched.
Then I found Bones.
Directed by Ernest R. Dickerson and written by Adam Simon & Tim Metcalfe, this story creeps around the edges of House on Haunted Hill, the original good one by Shirley Jackson, not that lameassed release by Jan de Bont in 1999. Of all people, the movie stars Snoop Dogg as Jimmy Bones and Pam Grier as Pearl, his lover (wife?). Now on to the telling .
dem bones, dem bones Our first introduction is a crazed man running through the streets, being chased by who knows what, but it is growling. He flees into a building that he has practically built into a fort, slamming the door behind him. The dog [we discover this is a dog through closed captioning smile] continues to beat against the door, trying to get at the man. Finally we glimpse the dog, black matted fur and blazing red eyes .. ewwwww .. then the credits appear.
Opening to rap music, older scenery flashing by, you are introduced to the main characters in the movie [although I dont mention their names in starring roles]. A group of youngsters, appearing semi well-to-do, pull up to a decrepit building that has all the potential of a wrecking crew at play. However, the main man sees a future in the building, a niteclub that will feature a new rap group [his] and will be the envy of the entire town. Silly mortal.
Somehow most of these young people [early 20s] are related through various marriages, or so it seems, they mostly share the same father. It appears father is a stern man, a hard worker that has made it from this nasty neighborhood into the better life and he certainly wont take to having his children returning to their roots.
Naturally neighbors shy away from the group, the building has a bad rep and that crazed old man still lives across the street in his fortress. However, the wandering eyes of the men spy a charming young lady, Cynthia, walking down the street with her mother, they offer their help with the bags they are carrying. So begins the story, as we meet mother for the first time, none other than Palmist Pam Grier.
Realizing this building is going to take a whole Hell of a lot of work, they begin staying there overnight to get as much time in as possible. Creepy things happen, or as they constantly say in the captioning eerie murmurings and low and behold, they find that same old dang dog from the beginning, hiding in one of the rooms. It becomes their mascot more or less. In addition, it scurries to the basement and begins digging in the soft earth.
sidebar Ive seen dirt basement floors before. They are not the soft fluffy soil as portrayed in this movie. In fact, it almost appears to be sand. Dirt basement floors are generally hard compacted clay, but that would have been harder for the dog to dig in, huh? /sidebar
Turns out there is a local legend about the infamous Jimmy Bones, drug dealer, that disappeared eons ago. Noted for his outlandish clothes, large signet ring, and switchblade knife, why Lordy Be, I think we have discovered the missing Jimmy Bones. Jimmy, but not to the knowledge of the group, begins to . um .. regrow his skin and muscle. In fact, he ends up by the end of the movie fully clothed in quite a nappy outfit, cape included.
sidebar Seems to me, when Jimmy went missing, the first place they would look is this building since that was the last place he was known to visit. Secondly, if it was so easy for him to regenerate, why didnt he do it before? They didnt do anything to him, he did this on his own. /sidebar
Along the way we learn the truth about Jimmy, and his death, which was an accident anyway. It was the coverup that became the crime. And this coverup was lead by a sleazy detective who still runs the neighborhood and the drug lords, and a group of five people. It becomes Jimmys goal to eliminate these people who could have saved his life.
Among this group are Pearl and the childrens daddy, who at one time had been Jimmys best bud since they were grasshoppers says Jimmy.
About the movie Filmed in Vancouver, this was a nasty piece of work. Snoop Dogg was a treat to watch, very avant-garde in his snappy suits and flowing coats. He made a nice villain with his lean looks and hat tilted just so. His acting, though, was lacking. Pam Grier was just nasty. A whole bunch of matted dreadlocks and a puffy body and face really distracted the viewer. In addition, her acting just isnt.
The young miss, Cynthia, was played by a quite tasty Bianca Lawson and made the entire movie worth watching.
But this movie is entirely about special effects, which they did well enough to keep even the jaded interested, except that maggot thing, that was a little much. A lot of breathing walls and changing shapes coupled with the regeneration of Jimmy Bones, made a decent flick but not a good flick.
Rated R for violence/gore, language, sexuality and drugs.
A perfect flick for an October night viewing if nothing else is available.
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age
BONES I love horror movies maybe more so than any other type of movie there is, I also like Ernest Dickerson, Pam Grier, Clifton Powell and Snoop Dogg. So when this film was first announced I was excited about it, a horror film involving all of them and a throwback to the blaxploitation films of old. Then when the trailer was released I couldn't wait to check it out, I still remember when it first came out, I was … more
Now I know that there are those that don't like this movie but I enjoyed it and thought it was fun. There is cheese to be found here but there is a lot of good to see as well. The DVD is an excellent purchase in my opinion and the soundtrack is an excellent purchase as well.
BONES features rapper Snoop Dogg in his first starring role as the benevolent neighborhood kingpin, Jimmy Bones, who is betrayed and murdered in 1979, and returns to get his horrific revenge twenty years later. Patrick (Khalil Kain), the son of one of the witnesses to the murder, Jeremiah (Clifton Powell), decides to turn the creepy abandoned brownstone where Bones once lived into a nightclub. He and his crew move into the building, where a terrifying presence makes itself known. Patrick also meets the beautiful Cinnabar (Bianca Lawson), the daughter of Bones' old flame, Pearl (Pam Grier). But the vengeful spirit released from the old house jeopardizes their newfound love, and their lives. Drenched in stage blood and sprinkled with sex, BONES delivers its gory chills in the style of Italian horror masters like Mario Bava and Dario Argento, with a touch of Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name thrown in. Director Ernest Dickerson proved his skill at horror with the entertaining TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNI...