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Cloverfield

A movie directed by Matt Reeves

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WTF???

  • May 28, 2009
  • by
Rating:
+1
I highly recommend watching Cloverfield this year or any other year ...if you are being held at gunpoint. Otherwise, you are free to skip it as I wish I had. Thankfully, a friend bought me the movie ticket & I even felt sorry for the poor chap afterwards having to invest money on this hunk of steaming crap. 

I have heard all the rumours on how Cloverfield is the new Blair Witch Project. Just forget it! Blair Witch Project & Cloverfield are one & the same basically. There is nothing exciting happening in either one although I think the dialogue or cheap Wal-Mart camerawork in Blair Witch might be a bit more appealing to me. Hell, even the Blair Witch project sequel is better than the both of these films put together & that's not saying very much...

Cloverfield goes nowhere real fast. After the first 45 minutes of inane dialogue are behind us, we still are hoping that the second half of the film will improve somewhat. I digress. The dialogue goes from bland to actually the height of goofiness. Of course, it's debatable that all of this is intentional& Cloverfield was merely just a cult film in the making. Wrong. No one actually sets out to make a cult film.  All I can say is wow....who sits down at nite & writes this stuff? Do they write it by hand on napkins at McDonald's in between eating double cheeseburgers? One has to stop & wonder.

The big Godzilla-like monster that has everyone raving is nothing particularly special either. I've seen scarier sock puppets than this wanna-be creature. Sadly, we had to sit through 89-90 minutes of blah just to see this tube sock creature. Come on!!! Troma makes better films than this. Do we have to subject ourselves to such torture? Was this anyway to start the 2008 year?

If you like the handheld camera films, there are films which are superior to Cloverfield in every sense of the word. Try The Last Broadcast or the one that started them all.....Cannibal Holocaust. If you like monster films, there are plenty of those out there too so don't stop here.
WTF??? WTF??? WTF???

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October 19, 2010
For a movie you clearly HATE, how can you give it a +1 ranking?
October 21, 2010
Haha. Most sites won't allow you to rank anything below the 1 star rating and I initally wasn't aware that Lunch had negatives so this cinematic turd earned one star. I just haven't the heart to go back and change it. LOL
 
June 01, 2009
I thought this movie was awright, I rated it a 2.85 stars when it came out in theaters. "The Host" is pretty good, as FoodDude and Karen says. I'll have to transfer my review over to here.
June 01, 2009
They all have something a little different to say. I enjoy THE LAST BROADCAST too, although some people say its ending came out of nowhere and screwed the whole thing up while others claim its the original premise for the whole BLAIR WITCH thing. As for me, I think this kind of idea has existed as long as film schools have.
June 02, 2009
Last Broadcast was awesome! I didn't care much for Blair Witch or Cloverfield though. I will check out The Host however. I have heard some pretty good things about that one. Thnx!
 
May 31, 2009
I have a huge feeling that your appreciation for monster movies will be restored by The Host, a Korean flick with a tongue-and-cheek sense of humor and awesome destruction.  Take the first scene where the monster simply JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER IN PLAIN DAYLIGHT.  No seeing a tiny bit here, a tiny bit there, just the beast wrecking havoc in pure, visible sunlight.  It's awesome  :)
May 31, 2009
Now that was a great movie. In American flix it takes the combined weight of the armed forces to defeat the monster, here they either get in the way or ignore it totally and its up to one small family to take care of the problem. I think it makes a very interesting cultural statement.
 
May 31, 2009
Actually, I thought this was a pretty good movie. I hadn't seen one of those dinosaur-tears-up-city things since I don't know when, and I loved them when I was a kid. This one had a lot of tension in it, and the whole POV thing was a nice touch. I highly recommend it, as it's a fresh take on an old theme.
May 31, 2009
I kind of liked it too. The first 15 minutes or so were painfully dull but when it got moving it wasn't it bad. They made good decisions about keeping the monster hidden and reveiling it only in glimpses, and I loved the silly little things that came off of it.
June 02, 2009
Something tells me that all of you are correct. I will rent this one sometime & let you what I think. Smiles
June 02, 2009
Alric_K, glad you liked Cloverfield. You would probably enjoy the Godzilla films or maybe the handheld stlye of Blair Witch Project. I didn't care for it very much but it did well at the box office so apparantly some viewers did.
June 02, 2009
Alric_K, glad you liked Cloverfield. You would probably enjoy the Godzilla films or maybe the handheld stlye of Blair Witch Project. I didn't care for it very much but it did well at the box office so apparantly some viewers did.
 
May 30, 2009
Aw it wasn't all that bad although its really slow getting started. It would have been mush better if it had been made by a couple of kids from Iowa in their garage though.
May 30, 2009
I don't know. This one didn't do too much for me. I know the review is rather harsh but I rather bored while watching this one. I hear the same dude made the new Star Trek which might prove to be more fun though. Maybe I will like that one.
 
May 29, 2009
Haha, you just handed Cloverfield's ass back to it/him/her!  And lol at your McDonald's mention.

I've never watched Blair Witch Project before, so I wouldn't know how they compared, but I actually found Cloverfield to be somewhat intriguing.  Maybe it's because I'm a girl and there was that awkward love story going on throughout the movie :P
May 29, 2009
Thnx for the review comment which means a great deal to me. I don't think you are missing a great deal if you skipped Blair Witch honestly but I guess I'm not a fan of the hand-held camera films. I like awkward love stories though. Do you have any favorites? Any recommendations? ;-)~
May 29, 2009
No prob!  I'm not a fan of hand-held camera films either.  I probably would've skipped Cloverfield had I known it was one of those, but I'm kind of glad that I didn't.  Kind of :P

And let's see... I can think of a few love stories off the top of my head, the most recent being Slumdog Millionaire and The Notebook, and one of my favorites of all time is the artsy Before Sunrise.  Though the Lunch description says it's a comedy, it's not!  It's a drama :D
May 29, 2009
Hmm, ok. Have heard a lot aboutThe Notebook of course but never saw it for some odd reason. Slumdog Millionaire was awesome! Very good choice. ;-) I saw Before Sunrise some years ago but don't remember it that well. Might have to see that one again sometime. Thanks again for the super comment & the recommendations. Please feel free to drop me a line anytime. Have a great weekend!
May 30, 2009
SAY ANYTHING would have to be the ultimate in the awkward love story category.
May 30, 2009
Now that's one I actually remember seeing quite a bit in my early teens. I had a friend who absolutely loved this. I ended up buying her previously viewed videotape from Blockbuster back then as she couldn't get enough of this film.
May 30, 2009
I own a copy too. I notice that you didn't give YOUR opinion of it.
May 30, 2009
I like it. People automatically assume my fav flick is Brokeback Mountain but actually I prefer Say Anything. Brokeback has it's moments which are certainly touching but I mostly find the film to be stereotypical & slow moving.
May 31, 2009
You thought Brokeback Mountain was stereotypical?  How?  Dude, there was nothing stereotypical about that movie.   I've seen that movie three times, and it's very touching and thoughtful, with rich characterization.  
June 01, 2009
I really enjoyed Brokeback Mountain, but I'm not sure that I can watch it again. Too sad and intense.

I've got a few more very awkward love stories: The Broken Wings of Elijah Footfalls (not for everyone, looks kind of like a long cologne commercial if you're not into it), Punch-Drunk Love (Adam Sandler in a serious role), Cashback, and Shortbus, which I'm so glad to see that you've already reviewed (I LOVE John Cameron Mitchell)!

I've got some anti-love movies as well: Amores Perros and Revolutionary Road.
June 02, 2009
Hmm, never heard of Elijah Falls but I'll jot it down. Punch Drunk Love has always been a personal fav of mine as it's quirkiness kept my attention even though it was more serious Sandler. Good recommendation! Mitchell is amazing & I'm glad you like Shortbus also!
June 02, 2009
I have never seen Revolutionary Road though I intend to. Amores Perros was very good & I really do like the director also. Good choices Devora!!! Thnx a mil!
June 02, 2009
No prob! And if you've got any recommendations, I'd love to hear them, too! :)
June 02, 2009
I will shoot some recommendations your way. I promise. Have you seen 21 Grams? How about the classic Four Weddings & A Funeral? Another love story I enjoyed a lot was The Piano. If you've seen those, I will compile some other favs for you. Cheers!! ;-)
June 02, 2009
Alric_K, Brokeback was very stereotypical of gay relationships & how they effect marriages. In fact, I was kind of taken aback at how homosexuals were presented in this film. Brokeback has it's moments of the heartfelt & sincerity but it basically re-inforces the old stereotype that a gay male cannot be true to one partner. I would like to see one popular film in Hollywood or even an indie flick that doesn't have a gay male cheating on his wife or leaving his wife for another man whom he's having an affair with. I do like the Brokeback Mountain film somewhat but it's far from being a personal favorite of mine.
June 02, 2009
I like how this giant thread has turned into movie recommendations!  If you're looking for heartbreaking love stories, I think the modern king is director Joe Wright who made Pride and Prejudice and Atonement.  And I'd like to second the shoutout of Before Sunrise, it's a talky, realistic love story with two great characters.  Fun fact: I'm taking a screenwriting class with the Academy-award nominated writer of that film!  She very much resembles the young French woman in the film.
June 02, 2009
Good observation! Hmm, haven't seen those either FoodDude but I'm glad you chose to contribute to ever growing thread of movie recommendations! I actually would love to watch both of them at some point & had been meaning to check them out as I'm a big fan of Kiera Knightley so naturally I'll see just about anything she makes. ;-0 I need to re-visit Before Sunrise someday as I rented this one many moons ago when I was in my early twenties. Perhaps it deserves a second viewing as I barely recall this one. Sounds like you're having fun in the screenwriting class thus far. Yay!!
June 04, 2009
@cenobite7 and @FoodDude I actually haven't seen any of those yet! I really want to see The Piano though because I love all things piano-related and it has actually been recommended to me before, so thanks for all the recommendations, guys!  I need to see Before Sunrise again soon, too.  Its been too long!
June 04, 2009
By all means, see The Piano. I believe it's worthy of adding to a video or DVD library but you may wish to rent it first before making that decision. At any rate, I'm quite sure you will find this one pretty enchanting & definitely a unique viewing experience. Let me know what you think should you check it out. Again, you're very welcome & I'll let you know if I can think of any others to recommend. :-)
 
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More Cloverfield reviews
review by . May 17, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
***1/2 out of ****     I've gotten tired of the gimmicky "found-footage" style of filmmaking, especially in horror films. I love the horror genre for many reasons, and these films...they have plagued it with the same old approach. However, "Cloverfield", in spite of its premise, offers something new for movie-goers. Think of is as "Godzilla", but if it had been filmed with a piece-of-shit camcorder. Also, the monster here isn't Japanese.    In the end, I think …
review by . October 13, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
When one thinks of "Cloverfield" (2008) the awesome "hyped-up" trailer comes to mind. The teaser trailer was very well-marketed and does grab our attention. J.J. Abrams (Mission Impossible, Lost) definitely knows how to arouse the curiosity and attention of moviegoers. Now, the only problem with hyping up a film so much is that it either works or it doesn't. Hype can definitely work in putting people on theater seats but once word gets out that the film is "anything …
review by . February 20, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Godzilla on steroids
  When reviewing Cloverfield obvious comparisons to movies like Godzilla are easy to make, but this film is so much more then a simple monster bash. Cloverfield is a wild mix of Godzilla like monster fun, blended with The Blair Witch Project camera style and Jaws (30th Anniversary Edition) like suspense all blended together to make one of the most perfect monster/disaster/horror films of the modern day.       First off lets give some credit to the incredible job the producers …
review by . February 09, 2009
Just like many of you, when I saw the preview for this film I instantly dubbed it "a must see". What can I say? Something about the head of the Statue of Liberty rolling down the streets of Manhattan had me hooked. More importantly I couldn't wait to find out what exactly was causing this carnage. So it was with great expectations I strapped myself in for what was sure to be an incredible ride.      Now I could go on and on here about who the cast is but you would have no idea …
review by . April 28, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
Pros: Special effects, pacing      Cons: Nothing original, terrible narrator, very shaky camera--not for the motion sick.      The Bottom Line: If you've watched half a dozen scary or alien movies, then Cloverfield stole part of it; still there's enough to entertain.  Warning if you are prone to motionsickness, skip it.      Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie''s plot. Cloverfield is the …
review by . August 02, 2008
posted in Movie Hype
To give the utmost atmosphere of authenticity, `Cloverfield' films all its monster movie proceedings as though an amateur were using an average video camera. All the starts and stops of footage are effective enough, and the glimpses of the modern equivalent of New York City's Godzilla keep tangible, but not always present.     Just like all disaster pictures, the prologue introduces us to all of the characters. We need to know and care about them. Rob Hawkins (Michael Stahl-David) …
review by . July 05, 2008
posted in Movie Hype
The idea behind the film is clever, even if it is a bit obvious -- to the point where it's surprising nobody has done anything quite like it, or at least nothing on a similar scale. Somebody thought, let's make a monster mayhem flick but instead of a blockbuster make it an indie, shot amateur style: Godzilla meets the Blair Witch. That allows them to economize on the special effects, using sparing effects that would work on tv but not on the big screen -- but when shot on a consumer video camera …
review by . November 03, 2008
You know a movie is bad when it is set in New York but named after a road in Santa Monica, CA..... This gives you an idea how unimaginative and mindless the movie is.    I didn't mind the cinimatography. However there wasn't really a plot to peak of, the characters were pretty lame, and the monster was pretty one-dimensional. In general, I say don't bother with this movie.
review by . October 02, 2008
Pros: no pros in this film     Cons: darkness overrides production     The Bottom Line:   "No one knows what I am  No one knows why I did it   No one knows from where I come  I am Clovie!"  ~wjmmovieman         For once I get to bash a monster flick in the same decade as it was released. Never seeing any trailers for this film, and reading only summary comments from viewers, …
review by . September 08, 2008
Now that all the hype has die down I was able to give this film an objective look. I have to admit I was impressed. This movie throws out the music, set-ups, and cheap scares out the window - in a good way. Nothing in this movie tells you you're watching a movie of course. You're completely disorientated from start to finish, completely uncomfortable and on edge. And that is a hell of an achievement in today's de-sensitized movie environment. While I didn't jump once, I did find myself clutching …
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Brian ()
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I've spent years trying to make others happy & not really focusing on what's most important in my own life. Having said that, my own health & security are paramount so now I'm more … more
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One of the first things a viewer notices aboutCloverfieldis that it doesn't play by ordinary storytelling rules, making this intriguing horror film as much a novelty as an event. Told from the vertiginous point-of-view of a camcorder-wielding group of friends,Cloverfieldbegins like a primetime television soap opera about young Manhattanites coping with changes in their personal lives. Rob (Michael Stahl-David) is leaving New York to take an executive job at a company in Japan. At his goodbye party in a crowded loft, Rob’s brother Jason (Mike Vogel) hands a camcorder to best friend Hud (T.J. Miller), who proceeds to tape the proceedings over old footage of Rob’s ex-girlfriend, Beth (Odette Yustman)--images shot during happy times in that now-defunct relationship. Naturally, Beth shows up at the party with a new beau, bumming Rob out completely. Just before one's eyes glaze over from all this heartbreaking stuff (captured by Hud, who's something of a doofus, in laughably shaky camerawork), the unexpected happens: New York is suddenly under attack from a Godzilla-like monster stomping through midtown and destroying everything and everybody in sight. Rob and company hit the streets, but rather than run with other evacuees, they head toward the center of the storm so that Rob can rescue an injured Beth. There are casualties along the way, but the journey into fear is fascinating and immediate if emotionally remote--a consequence of seeing these proceedings...
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Details

Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Release Date: January 18, 2008
MPAA Rating: PG-13
DVD Release Date: April 22, 2008
Runtime: 1hr 25min
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