WARNING: SPOILER ALERTS! But if I'm actually spoiling much you weren't much for Final Destination anyway.
Sometimes you just have to go and see bad movies for the sake of them being bad. Final Destination... like a lot of movie series is one that gets tired after a while. The first one was unique, it had something different about it that was amusing. It was hard not to come away from the first Final Destination without thinking that at the very least it was a good idea. But as most horror series go on to show... it won't be long before the idea runs its toll. Saw comes to mind these days (enjoyed the first two, couldn't stand them after that). But Final Destination keeps me coming back for one reason... it's so over the top and surreal at what it does that I can enjoy the films for a laugh.
I know what you're thinking... "You're horrible laughing at a bunch of stupid young people dying you awful awful man!" Well, okay, but I bet you'd laugh too if you realized a tire could take off half your upper body.... and I mean practically make it explode. Hell, you'd laugh if a guy kept trying to kill himself and it wouldn't work just because he "wasn't next" on Death's list. Hell, I feel like laughing because they all didn't just have simultaneous heart attacks and die. Nope, Death has to dick us around a little bit and tease us all by having an elaborate over the top death sequence. After a while Final Destination becomes laughable when you realize no one just simply dies mysteriously. Nope. Imagine, if you will that someone opens a door and an anvil falls on their head... but wait! The anvil must miss! Phew our character will be thinking, until the anvil gets so heavy it crashes through the floor that a board of wood comes flying up and the board of wood (somehow) smacks our character so hard that his (or her) head (or half his freakin' body) goes flying off in a bloody mess! Does it make any goddamn sense? Hell no, but goddamn it Final Destination will make sure it can happen! Here we get such huge elaborate deaths as seeing a guy get dragged as a chain gets soaked in gasoline and sparks from the chain's friction with the ground ignites. Oh and ZOMG!!!111 Simone dies in a huge escalator accident. Goddamn escalators. I knew one day someone would get caught in their gears and get crushed in a huge ridiculous manner that would splat blood all over someone else's face.
And you have to give them credit for their over the top creativity. A lawn mower hits a rock and sends it shooting through someone's eye like a bullet. Wow, I had no idea rocks and lawnmowers could be so deadly.
Our movie begins with some guy named Nick going to races with a bunch of his friends and seeing a premonition. We don't actually know we're in the premonition when we see it until everyone dies. Then he decides to get everyone out of there before the premonition can come true. In the process of doing this he manages to save a ton of people. But oh no, Death is nobodies bitch! It's never the end just because you get away. Pretty soon the survivors start getting killed off one by one. It takes Nick a moment to realize that while he's seeing HOW they might die, he's not seeing WHO. It takes a moment before he realizes that they're dying in the order he foresaw in the first place. So, of course he and his friends will try and stop it. And you've got all your favorite stereotypes. The sex crazed idiot. The black guy (who gets killed twice! No I'm not joking). The dopey dumb female etc. etc.
These are but a few things. No one goes to see Final Destination to be scared, of course. Most of us go to see how the people'll die. At this point with such a repetitive movie franchise I'd wonder what's wrong with you if you actually went in hoping the characters would survive. But let's move on.
The movie is highly predictable. Because every death is played out in the same way. Nick sees something, then we see it later (or later on Nick tries to prevent it). We see as the person destined to die comes close to dying, only for them to barely side step their death, which would actually come from something ordinary. But then BAM! They die in much more over the top, ridiculous (and by default funnier) way. This has pretty much been how Final Destination has done things for a while. Of course there is that ONE hitch in the order... but come on, you don't think Death is worried about that, do you?
Like I said, he could just give them all heart attacks, dust his hands off and be done, but it seems Death is really quite bored that he has to come up with such creative ways for his victims to die. And since they're so over the top and blood splattered we can take this movie about as seriously as a Jonas Brothers concert.
Oh, but the most amusing (and probably biggest lack of creativity ever) is noticing the little things. Such as all the 6's in the beginning (and how often you'll just HAPPEN to see three of them) or how one of the characters sits in a movie and notices the words "Till Death Do Us Part" or something like that on the popcorn bag. Or how the characters (with Death coming after them) just happen to hang out at a cafe called "Death By Caffeine". It's not hard to notice these things. They're intentional and literally shoved right in your face. The film is also filled with tons of homages and references to previous films (Clear Waters, for example but the biggest is the opening credits which will be a real treat for those who've watched previous films in the franchise).
Is THE Final Destination the last one? Probably not. Should it be? Probably. Is it a horrible movie? Yes. The Final Destination is godawful. Would I recommend paying to see it? Nope. But would I recommend watching it if you're the type to like movies so bad they turn out to be hilarious? Definitely! Would I still recommend you pay for it? Uhh... no.
FYI, I expect the following death to take place in the next Final Destination film.
I guess you could say I enjoyed the movie... but for totally the wrong reasons... or right, depending on how you look at it. I didn't have to pay, so I thought why not? It's a horrible movie. A godawful movie. But walk in with a dark sense of humor and I'm sure you'll get something from it.
STUPID, BUT AMUSING FACT: Someone in the closing credits is actually credited as MILF... No, I'm not kidding...
The Final Destination is the fourth film of the series. Four friends are out watching a NASCAR race when one of them Nick (Bobby Campo) has a vision of a horrific crash that will kill himself, his friends and scores of others. Terrified and very frightened he persuades his friends to leave. But during his leaving he accidentally causes a ruckus and nearly gets into a fight with a couple of guys. They chases them out of the racetrack and they nearly duke it out until the crash happens. … more
I'm a more analytical person. I believe that the purpose of the review is not for me to give you my opinion but for me to give you an analysis and help you decide if you want to get it. If you reading … more
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