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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

A movie released August 07, 2009

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Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe.

  • Aug 8, 2009
  • by
The GI Joe francise has been around in one form or another since the 60's.  The most popular was it's 80's run which ran alongside the Marvel Comic book featuring more or less the same characters.  With nostalgia kicking in big time lately with old toy and comic francises being brought back and on the big screen it made sense that GI Joe would be there.

The story has Conrad Hauser and Wallace Weems are best friends in the armed forces on a mission to safegaurd an arms merchants newest weapons, nanotechnology powered missiles controlled by computers.  When the convoy gaurding them gets attacked the GI Joe special forces team is to the rescue of Conrad and Wallace who are better known by the callsigns Duke and Ripcord who get involved with the Joes to stop a terrorist strike on major cities.

Sadly the idea of a specialized force of US Armed forces who take on a dictator bent on world donmination with his own army at his command got the Hollywood treatment with real big and flashy costumes and war machines replacing the original's own unique flair.  The series own trappings are put in place loosly to frame a big budget movie around.  Some popular characters are discarded completely, others don't quite synch up to the source material with some worse then others, romantic interests are twisted about, major characters are killed off and a key character comes out of left field in a really bad way.  Thats mostly whats bad and trust me it's all those little things that add up in a big way.

Lets get to the good, the action is top notch, unlike the other big bugdet toy smash up this summer, not only does this movie have a halfway decent story, it's told in a more coherant manner and it's action is fun and easy to follow plus the cuts aren't nano seconds long.  The initial convoy attack is fun, the chase in Paris with goofy Power Ranger suits that nearly turned me off completely to the movie was really good and the finale is one of those multi branching action pieces where the characters split up with their own missions to complete is surpsingly coherant.

Theres the typical lapses in logic such as a character who is a few FEET in front of a building that gets destroyed and he walks away with scratches, seeing a highly funded government force in the Joes fighting the villians with machine guns when half the grunts they shoot at are armed with hyper death rays of sorts.  A big one for me involves a corny doctor whos been mutilated using the nano robots for weapons, genetics and all sorts of things EXCEPT to fix his own injuries.  HUH?!  Thankfully if this is a bigscreen adaption to a comic book/cartoon a lot of these issues can slide.

People always say if it ain't broke don't fix it or that if it isn't broke it could be worn out.  There was nothing wrong to me with the old GI Joe outside of the cartoons campier aspects but big Hollywood treatments of beloved and familiar pieces of nostalgia are getting worn out.  I really wonder what was wrong with GI Joe that such steps were taken.  This ain't your Dads GI Joe thats for sure.  Thats strange since I'm not a Dad.
Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe. Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe. Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe. Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe. Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe. Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe.

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August 10, 2009
great review! Exactly what I expected of this film, loud, stylish, with very hollow characterization. Thanks for the review, I'll probably just give it a rent.
August 10, 2009
I just saw it again since I'm a big nerd for GI Joe and felt compelled to. It wasn't that much better the second time but it was still loud and fun. I really wish that a better handle was on the characters, not so much in depth since only so many of the Joes were deep to begin with.
August 12, 2009
any more depth of character and the actors might not be able to handle it! Sienna Miller was abysmal and struggled with the part she had!
August 12, 2009
I don't think anyone in the movie was especially bad even Channing Tatum who some people have really complained about. When they start approaching Star Wars prequels levels of bad, then people might be on to something.
More G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra reviews
review by . November 06, 2009
Lately Hollywood has been trying to Monopolize on the success that Hasbro has created over the years. First in 2007 Michael Bay directed the adequate adaption of the ultra mega popular toy line and cartoon animated franchise Transformers, While his attempt was good it didn't quite make the cut as great as it could have been. Then in 2009 he made the horrible and audacious Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen which was shortly followed by Stephen Sommers G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra which in turn was …
review by . August 18, 2009
Short attention span summary (SASS):       1. GI Joe goes global, hi-tech and impossibly awesome    2. Bad guys include the standard megalomaniac with Gaelic accent, mad scientist, hot chick, martial arts expert and a horde of nano-mites, capable of never-before-seen destruction unless someone hits the kill-switch    3. Good guys include General with a heart of gold, hunky lead, comic relief sidekick, hot chick number 2, martial arts expert number 2, computer …
review by . November 05, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
Loud, Stylish and Very Fancy...Fun But Not Compelling...
   Honestly, I am not an avid fan of the G.I. animated series or the comic book published by Marvel comics back in the 80’s, therefore my knowledge of the G.I. Joe universe is very limited. I am however, aware of its characters seeing as how a bunch of my friends used to collect the little action figures. “G.I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA” directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) was written during the writer’s strike and is geared towards a specific audience. I lowered …
Quick Tip by . July 17, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
This movie was great I thought it keep me watching it so much.
review by . August 13, 2009
So I walked out of this movie after about 45 minutes. G.I. Joe just isn't my kind of movie, but that's not the movies problem. It's my problem. I had no business being there in the first place. For one, I was always ambivalent about the cartoon. I watched it only because it came on after the Transformers. Most of the time I didn't finish the episodes. Not much has changed considering that I saw G.I. Joe only because I had my schedule mixed up with what I really wanted to see: …
review by . August 08, 2009
   I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining this film was.  I liked it a lot more than any of the Transformer movies and the movie never seemed to get boring.  It begins with a Scottish arms dealer caught in 1600's France being forced to wear a steel mask (which is literally burnt into his head).  We then flash forward to what is labelled "the near distant future." and the arm's dealer's later descendent is now a heavy dealer to the US military (and to other …
Quick Tip by . May 11, 2010
Surprisingly entertaining considering the bad casting, lame story, choice of characters....Lets hope a sequel is better.
review by . April 29, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
I can't say I had high expectations for any movie based on GI Joe action figures. I used to love playing the figures as a kid, but it just simply isn't movie material. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is probably the best they could do given the concept, but the result isn't very satisfying. It's an action movie galore, but not much else. The script gets a bit corny and cliche, with predictable lines and plot developments - like the hot GI Joe Scarlett also being the scientific nerd. I was also surprised …
Quick Tip by . January 24, 2010
If you love guns, shooting and a hell lot of action? Watch it! If you love a great storyline, then don't watch it..
review by . December 20, 2009
It seems this is the decade for resurrecting old cartoons as movie franchises. Starting with x-Men, then Spiderman, then Transformers, and now G.I. Joe, each one has been jazzed up sex appeal, great special effects, big budgets, and a host of movie stars young and old. Unfortunately, all of this does not replace a good script and authentic details, both of which are lacking in this movie.     First, the general premise of the movie is nonsensical. To begin, we have an evil scientist …
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John Nelson ()
Ranked #8
Born in Wausau Wisconsin. Move at an early age to Ventura California and lived for 8 years. Growing up in a big city landscape didn't prepare me for my next move: Archbold Ohio with a population of … more
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
is a 2009 American live action film adaptation of the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero toy franchise. The film is directed by Stephen Sommers, produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and written by Stuart Beattie based on a 1998 screenplay by John Paul Kay. G.I. Joe features an ensemble cast based on the various characters of the franchise. Filming took place in Downey, California and Prague's Barrandov Studios. The film was released on August 5, 2009.

The Rise of Cobrais not your grandfather's G.I. Joe. It's more like C.G.I. Joe with explosive special-effects action sequences that provide the film with a surplus of "Boom Boom Pow" (to quote the Black Eyed Peas song that drives the end credits). This blast from the summer past is very much like the metal-munching nano-mite missiles a (literally) mad Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt cashing in some of his indie cred) and McCullen, a Scottish weapons dealer (Christopher Eccleston), threaten to unleash upon the world. It never stops. Ever. The original G.I. Joe action figure was an all-American hero. These Joes are--all together now--"the best of the best," an elite multi-national squad. Two soldiers, Duke (a buff Channing Tatum), an "on the ground, in the fight" kind of guy, and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), his wisecracking best friend, are rescued by the Joes after they are ambushed while transporting the missiles. These are no ordinary Joes. Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) is a ...
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Genre: Action, Adventure
Release Date: August 07, 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
DVD Release Date: Nov. 3, 2009
Runtime: 118 Mins.
Studio: Paramount Pictures
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