Movies Books Music Food Tv Shows Technology Politics Video Games Parenting Fashion Green Living more >

Lunch » Tags » Movies » Reviews » G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra » User review

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

A movie released August 07, 2009

< read all 23 reviews

"The Joe's won't know what hit them."

  • Aug 13, 2009
  • by
So I walked out of this movie after about 45 minutes. G.I. Joe just isn't my kind of movie, but that's not the movies problem. It's my problem. I had no business being there in the first place. For one, I was always ambivalent about the cartoon. I watched it only because it came on after the Transformers. Most of the time I didn't finish the episodes. Not much has changed considering that I saw G.I. Joe only because I had my schedule mixed up with what I really wanted to see: the movie "Adam." Having already made the drive to the theater, I took a gamble on G.I. Joe.

With only 45 minutes to work from, all I can write here is that the plot centers around nanobugs that can get inside human beings and reprogram their brains and their immune systems. They can also eat metal or entire cities for that matter. The nanobugs have been intercepted by the bad guys who will do bad things with them. The G.I. Joe force are the people who will stop this. This may sound like a sarcastic synopsis, but really it's not. The plot is as simplistically heinous as how I remember the cartoon. And it shouldn't be anything more than that. This is G.I. Joe we're talking about. One guy even says, "the Joe's won't know what hit them." A line that probably came right out of the series, and if it didn't, it could have. Duke, the main character, is not already a member of the G.I. Joe unit at the start of the movie. So he uses lines like "I want in." Twice, actually. There's plenty more of where that came from. The movie even borrows the moral platitudes of the 80s; so we get a "when-you-get-knocked-down-get-right-back-up-pep-talk" from one of the Wayan brothers.

Again, I'm not criticizing. Whoever is behind this movie decided to detour away from Bay's direction with Transformers, and actually make a movie that is true to the source material. I applaud that. Fans of the cartoon will recognize the characters (more than I can say for Transformers), and newcomers won't have to because, from what I could gather, The Rise of Cobra will make for a fun and fast-paced introduction. The acting and the writing may feel as if it were originally a made for TV flick, but that's because it is sincerely inspired by a TV series. Smart move. It will make it all the more easier to start a live-action TV series – after they clean-up on three or four of the big screen versions, of course.

If Hawk is right, and "knowing is half the battle", then I don't feel too bad about writing a review based on only the first half of the movie. Yo Joe!

What did you think of this review?

Fun to Read
Post a Comment
November 05, 2009
I spotted the DVD on the street just last night. Hmm, didn't know it's a cartoon. Or is it? Anyway, doesn't quite sound like my kind of movie even though it's nano ;-) Will be in Toronto end next week, by the way.
November 08, 2009
Really? So you are back to your travel routine, huh? Send me a message when you get to Toronto. If I can make it there I will meet you for a cup of coffee.
November 08, 2009
okey dokey. I didn't stop my travel 'routine', just been traveling around Asia :-) Coffee huh? Ah, I thought a spin ride in that Lexus would be ideal for Christmas present!
August 14, 2009
Great Review!  I'm very up and down about this film right now.  I want to see it, but I don't.  I don't know what to do.  I didn't really watch the cartoon... I'm going to see District 9 tonight. 
August 14, 2009
After you see District 9, let me know what you think of it. I have to wait until next week to see it ;-( I'm soooo antsy to see that movie. The posters were brilliant!
August 14, 2009
I definitely will! Review should be up tomorrow! Maybe even tonight if Im not to tired!
More G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra reviews
review by . November 06, 2009
Lately Hollywood has been trying to Monopolize on the success that Hasbro has created over the years. First in 2007 Michael Bay directed the adequate adaption of the ultra mega popular toy line and cartoon animated franchise Transformers, While his attempt was good it didn't quite make the cut as great as it could have been. Then in 2009 he made the horrible and audacious Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen which was shortly followed by Stephen Sommers G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra which in turn was …
review by . August 18, 2009
Short attention span summary (SASS):       1. GI Joe goes global, hi-tech and impossibly awesome    2. Bad guys include the standard megalomaniac with Gaelic accent, mad scientist, hot chick, martial arts expert and a horde of nano-mites, capable of never-before-seen destruction unless someone hits the kill-switch    3. Good guys include General with a heart of gold, hunky lead, comic relief sidekick, hot chick number 2, martial arts expert number 2, computer …
review by . November 05, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
Loud, Stylish and Very Fancy...Fun But Not Compelling...
   Honestly, I am not an avid fan of the G.I. animated series or the comic book published by Marvel comics back in the 80’s, therefore my knowledge of the G.I. Joe universe is very limited. I am however, aware of its characters seeing as how a bunch of my friends used to collect the little action figures. “G.I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA” directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) was written during the writer’s strike and is geared towards a specific audience. I lowered …
review by . August 08, 2009
Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe.
The GI Joe francise has been around in one form or another since the 60's.  The most popular was it's 80's run which ran alongside the Marvel Comic book featuring more or less the same characters.  With nostalgia kicking in big time lately with old toy and comic francises being brought back and on the big screen it made sense that GI Joe would be there.      The story has Conrad Hauser and Wallace Weems are best friends in the armed forces on a mission to …
Quick Tip by . July 17, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
This movie was great I thought it keep me watching it so much.
review by . August 08, 2009
   I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining this film was.  I liked it a lot more than any of the Transformer movies and the movie never seemed to get boring.  It begins with a Scottish arms dealer caught in 1600's France being forced to wear a steel mask (which is literally burnt into his head).  We then flash forward to what is labelled "the near distant future." and the arm's dealer's later descendent is now a heavy dealer to the US military (and to other …
Quick Tip by . May 11, 2010
Surprisingly entertaining considering the bad casting, lame story, choice of characters....Lets hope a sequel is better.
review by . April 29, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
I can't say I had high expectations for any movie based on GI Joe action figures. I used to love playing the figures as a kid, but it just simply isn't movie material. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is probably the best they could do given the concept, but the result isn't very satisfying. It's an action movie galore, but not much else. The script gets a bit corny and cliche, with predictable lines and plot developments - like the hot GI Joe Scarlett also being the scientific nerd. I was also surprised …
Quick Tip by . January 24, 2010
If you love guns, shooting and a hell lot of action? Watch it! If you love a great storyline, then don't watch it..
review by . December 20, 2009
It seems this is the decade for resurrecting old cartoons as movie franchises. Starting with x-Men, then Spiderman, then Transformers, and now G.I. Joe, each one has been jazzed up sex appeal, great special effects, big budgets, and a host of movie stars young and old. Unfortunately, all of this does not replace a good script and authentic details, both of which are lacking in this movie.     First, the general premise of the movie is nonsensical. To begin, we have an evil scientist …
About the reviewer
Jordan ()
Ranked #86
Information glutton. Neo•Luddite.
Consider the Source

Use Trust Points to see how much you can rely on this review.

Your ratings:
rate more to improve this
About this movie


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
is a 2009 American live action film adaptation of the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero toy franchise. The film is directed by Stephen Sommers, produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and written by Stuart Beattie based on a 1998 screenplay by John Paul Kay. G.I. Joe features an ensemble cast based on the various characters of the franchise. Filming took place in Downey, California and Prague's Barrandov Studios. The film was released on August 5, 2009.

The Rise of Cobrais not your grandfather's G.I. Joe. It's more like C.G.I. Joe with explosive special-effects action sequences that provide the film with a surplus of "Boom Boom Pow" (to quote the Black Eyed Peas song that drives the end credits). This blast from the summer past is very much like the metal-munching nano-mite missiles a (literally) mad Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt cashing in some of his indie cred) and McCullen, a Scottish weapons dealer (Christopher Eccleston), threaten to unleash upon the world. It never stops. Ever. The original G.I. Joe action figure was an all-American hero. These Joes are--all together now--"the best of the best," an elite multi-national squad. Two soldiers, Duke (a buff Channing Tatum), an "on the ground, in the fight" kind of guy, and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), his wisecracking best friend, are rescued by the Joes after they are ambushed while transporting the missiles. These are no ordinary Joes. Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) is a ...
view wiki


Genre: Action, Adventure
Release Date: August 07, 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
DVD Release Date: Nov. 3, 2009
Runtime: 118 Mins.
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Polls with this movie
© 2015 Lunch.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
Lunch.com - Relevant reviews by real people.
This is you!
Ranked #
Last login
Member since