Movies Books Music Food Tv Shows Technology Politics Video Games Parenting Fashion Green Living more >

Lunch » Tags » Movies » Reviews » G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra » User review

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

A movie released August 07, 2009

< read all 23 reviews

Not as good as it could have been..

  • Nov 6, 2009
  • by
Lately Hollywood has been trying to Monopolize on the success that Hasbro has created over the years. First in 2007 Michael Bay directed the adequate adaption of the ultra mega popular toy line and cartoon animated franchise Transformers, While his attempt was good it didn't quite make the cut as great as it could have been. Then in 2009 he made the horrible and audacious Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen which was shortly followed by Stephen Sommers G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra which in turn was no different than Revenge of the fallen except, that Rise of Cobra had terrible CGI bad plotting and a really terrible script, It's a film that is easily the worst of the year and it 's number two to Revenge of the fallen.

When I first saw the trailer for G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra I instantly thought, "Wow this is going to be an awesome movie!", my expectations were high when I entered the movie theater to see it. But when the light's came back and the credits rolled the smile that was on my face quickly evaporated. Now Why do you ask did that happen? Well let me break it down for you. 1.) the plot , while interesting was shallow and was riddled with bullet holes. also it's story was nothing like that of the G.I. Joe animated series or comics and was way to fast paced and packed with wall to wall action that really brought down the value of the film and killed the story. 2.) The acting, while not as bad as it could have been was terrible and very shallow especially from the senior actors in the cast. 3.) Stephen Sommers(the director of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.) crafts a poor script and mediocre direction, which is shocking for the man that created one of the greatest film of the 90's . But all in all this film tries very, very hard to be good and plausible entertainment but falls to short.

Dennis Quaid(Who has been failing lately to make good films.) Is alright in this but can't seen to elevate his character past being nothing more than a High School football coach. Channing Tatum(Who needs a new line of work.) Is terrible as Duke the leader of G.I. Joe he's too young to play the part and not very convincing as Duke. He doesn't have what it takes too be the character, but he does give it all he's got which, sadly is not much. Sienna Miller(who tries her best but is degraded to eye candy.) She is even less convincing as Baroness(I mean she didn't even have a Russian accent.) She has the look , the style and the sexiness to play the part. But she lacks the cruel nature of The Baroness and the cunning nature that made her a great character. Rachel Nichols(you may know her from P-2.) Is completely wrong for Scarlett. Again she's got the look the style and she's even got the sexiness down, but yet again she lacks the conviction and even the acting skills to play a tough smart women like Scarlett. Ray Park(Who is the saving grace in this film.) Ray Park does great as Snake Eyes and he is the only reason I went to see this movie in Theaters, seeing as he doesn't say a word he's one of the best of the cast. Joseph Gordon-Levitt(Who is the second class act in this.) He is great as the Doctor and does his very best in this and comes out on top. But none the less the cast tries there hardest and fails to elevate this film to greatness but it falls hard on bad direction and a poor script and acting.

G.I. Joe rise of Cobra is a high class action film with low class T.V. special effects and mediocre acting, it tries hard to be convincing and emotional at sometimes but it fails miserably. While Sommers had a great idea he couldn't quite get it off the ground and this film had the chance to have wings but it doesn't quite learn how to fly. But all in all it's a good popcorn flick, but nothing more beyond that, it is very entertaining at least but even that can't stop it from getting on your nerves from time to time. All in all a good attempt at making G.I. Joe a viable film franchise but sad to say it doesn't come even close. It's good to watch if your bored or have nothing else to see. But beyond that it's not worth going to see in theaters or buying for that matter. All in all G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra is an A-Bomb.

What did you think of this review?

Fun to Read
Post a Comment
March 30, 2011
I actually thought this was dumb fun, great review as always.
April 01, 2011
It was dumb but not fun, it had ideas but not enough intelligence to execute it correctly I admit that it had some great action sequences but they were so poorly rendered and the film so poorly acted, directed and quite frankly made that it was almost painful to watch. I will say this it was fun for what it was. And thank you very much.
January 02, 2010
Fortunately I can do without this one, and no power on earth can make me take my daughter's twins to see it!
November 06, 2009
I heard the same about this movie. Never went to go see it. I feel like it could have had so much potential but I guess that's what happens when you hype up movie through their trailers. I actually really enjoy Dennis Quaid but some of his movies lately haven't been that great. Thanks for the review!
April 01, 2011
It looked fantastic but sadly it was so poorly done and so poorly written, directed, acted this film fell apart by the dumb overly action packed finale and the poor special effects were so pathetic that it was almost an insult to call the Special effects this had some potential in its story but everything else just fell apart at the seams. And no problem.
More G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra reviews
review by . August 18, 2009
Short attention span summary (SASS):       1. GI Joe goes global, hi-tech and impossibly awesome    2. Bad guys include the standard megalomaniac with Gaelic accent, mad scientist, hot chick, martial arts expert and a horde of nano-mites, capable of never-before-seen destruction unless someone hits the kill-switch    3. Good guys include General with a heart of gold, hunky lead, comic relief sidekick, hot chick number 2, martial arts expert number 2, computer …
review by . November 05, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
Loud, Stylish and Very Fancy...Fun But Not Compelling...
   Honestly, I am not an avid fan of the G.I. animated series or the comic book published by Marvel comics back in the 80’s, therefore my knowledge of the G.I. Joe universe is very limited. I am however, aware of its characters seeing as how a bunch of my friends used to collect the little action figures. “G.I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA” directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) was written during the writer’s strike and is geared towards a specific audience. I lowered …
review by . August 08, 2009
Written by a child at heart. This ain't your Dad's GI Joe.
The GI Joe francise has been around in one form or another since the 60's.  The most popular was it's 80's run which ran alongside the Marvel Comic book featuring more or less the same characters.  With nostalgia kicking in big time lately with old toy and comic francises being brought back and on the big screen it made sense that GI Joe would be there.      The story has Conrad Hauser and Wallace Weems are best friends in the armed forces on a mission to …
Quick Tip by . July 17, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
This movie was great I thought it keep me watching it so much.
review by . August 13, 2009
So I walked out of this movie after about 45 minutes. G.I. Joe just isn't my kind of movie, but that's not the movies problem. It's my problem. I had no business being there in the first place. For one, I was always ambivalent about the cartoon. I watched it only because it came on after the Transformers. Most of the time I didn't finish the episodes. Not much has changed considering that I saw G.I. Joe only because I had my schedule mixed up with what I really wanted to see: …
review by . August 08, 2009
   I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining this film was.  I liked it a lot more than any of the Transformer movies and the movie never seemed to get boring.  It begins with a Scottish arms dealer caught in 1600's France being forced to wear a steel mask (which is literally burnt into his head).  We then flash forward to what is labelled "the near distant future." and the arm's dealer's later descendent is now a heavy dealer to the US military (and to other …
Quick Tip by . May 11, 2010
Surprisingly entertaining considering the bad casting, lame story, choice of characters....Lets hope a sequel is better.
review by . April 29, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
I can't say I had high expectations for any movie based on GI Joe action figures. I used to love playing the figures as a kid, but it just simply isn't movie material. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is probably the best they could do given the concept, but the result isn't very satisfying. It's an action movie galore, but not much else. The script gets a bit corny and cliche, with predictable lines and plot developments - like the hot GI Joe Scarlett also being the scientific nerd. I was also surprised …
Quick Tip by . January 24, 2010
If you love guns, shooting and a hell lot of action? Watch it! If you love a great storyline, then don't watch it..
review by . December 20, 2009
It seems this is the decade for resurrecting old cartoons as movie franchises. Starting with x-Men, then Spiderman, then Transformers, and now G.I. Joe, each one has been jazzed up sex appeal, great special effects, big budgets, and a host of movie stars young and old. Unfortunately, all of this does not replace a good script and authentic details, both of which are lacking in this movie.     First, the general premise of the movie is nonsensical. To begin, we have an evil scientist …
About the reviewer
C.R. Lopez ()
Ranked #35
Member Since: Nov 6, 2009
Last Login: Jul 7, 2012 09:53 PM UTC
Consider the Source

Use Trust Points to see how much you can rely on this review.

Your ratings:
rate more to improve this
About this movie


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
is a 2009 American live action film adaptation of the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero toy franchise. The film is directed by Stephen Sommers, produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and written by Stuart Beattie based on a 1998 screenplay by John Paul Kay. G.I. Joe features an ensemble cast based on the various characters of the franchise. Filming took place in Downey, California and Prague's Barrandov Studios. The film was released on August 5, 2009.

The Rise of Cobrais not your grandfather's G.I. Joe. It's more like C.G.I. Joe with explosive special-effects action sequences that provide the film with a surplus of "Boom Boom Pow" (to quote the Black Eyed Peas song that drives the end credits). This blast from the summer past is very much like the metal-munching nano-mite missiles a (literally) mad Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt cashing in some of his indie cred) and McCullen, a Scottish weapons dealer (Christopher Eccleston), threaten to unleash upon the world. It never stops. Ever. The original G.I. Joe action figure was an all-American hero. These Joes are--all together now--"the best of the best," an elite multi-national squad. Two soldiers, Duke (a buff Channing Tatum), an "on the ground, in the fight" kind of guy, and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), his wisecracking best friend, are rescued by the Joes after they are ambushed while transporting the missiles. These are no ordinary Joes. Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) is a ...
view wiki


Genre: Action, Adventure
Release Date: August 07, 2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
DVD Release Date: Nov. 3, 2009
Runtime: 118 Mins.
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Polls with this movie
© 2015 Lunch.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
Lunch.com - Relevant reviews by real people.
This is you!
Ranked #
Last login
Member since