If you were young back then when friends around you were choosing films at the local drive-in If you could go back in time to watch anew Would you laugh or scream, or cringe with chagrin If you waited and never gave up waiting for the chance to once more see delightful exploitation movies with their B-rating and look away from the parts too frightful
If you were to start off with Planet Terror You'll watch in horror as a dread disease mutates all those who make the fatal error of touching oozing flesh like rotting cheese If you can force your gut to still continue you'll observe a woman with missing leg strap a destructive weapon as a sinew to help to take the sickos down a peg
If you observe a lurking Chevy Nova while out with friends who've had too much to drink If a grizzled old stuntman calls you over If you can run, don't take the time to think If you borrow a car just for a joyride Satisfying your adrenaline fix Yours is the rush that comes from deep down inside When the tables turn and you get your kicks
If you had dreamed - then you need dream no longer We all know they're intentionally lame If you can face your critics and be stronger And treat the two directors just the same Now you can cheer and watch the cheesy action Filmed as two parts to maximize your fun Zombies and death cars for your satisfaction Eagerly striving to not be outdone
Pretty much, I've only really been excited about seeing one or two of the 50 or so major films that come out each year, probably for about the last decade. I think there's something chemical about the whole process. When I was a kid, practically everything I saw on the screen I loved, not to mention the hundreds of movies I caught on HBO at home. Most of my DVD collection, in fact, is comprised of flicks that I saw first in the 80's, and most of them are of questionable … more
I write reviews for a hobby. Most of my reviews are short and to the point, on account of my short attention span. I try to make my reviews both informative and entertaining, and sometimes I succeed. … more
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