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Lunch » Tags » Movies » Reviews » H2: Halloween 2 » User review

H2: Halloween 2

A movie released August 28, 2009

< read all 5 reviews

I would rather lick a dirty toilet bowl than watch this movie again.

  • Jun 15, 2011
Rating:
-5
I don’t even know where to start……
 
First and foremost I am going to put this out there; I do not care for Rob Zombie. I never really cared for his music, not to say it is bad it just doesn’t do anything for me.  So when I first heard he was going into the realm of cinema I wasn’t too excited about it.  I totally detested “House of a 1000 Corpses”, awful.  My friend suggested to me to watch his version of “Halloween” claiming that it was actually pretty good.  Being a fan of the old school “Halloween” flicks I figure I would give it a shot.  I must confess that I enjoyed aspects of “Zombie’s Halloween” (mainly Malcolm McDowell version of Dr. Sam Loomis)but overall didn’t care for it.  I figured I might as well watch the sequel, what a mistake…..
 
I will take back my original thoughts about Zombie’s 2007 version of “Halloween”; I appreciate it much more after I watch this schlock of a sequel.  In stead of providing text why this movie was awful I am going to note some key points.
 
  • Don’t know why Michael Myers was so pro-mask in the first film and in this sequel he would take it off quite a bit.
     
  • Michael Myers looked like The Undertaker (the wrestler).
     
  • Michael Myers eats a dog.
     
  • I never thought I would get sick of seeing a white horse and a lady dressed in white. The lady in white is Michael's mom; the role is played poorly by Zombie's wife. I don't know who the horse is.
     
  • Why waste 20 plus minutes on a no reason hospital dream?
     
  • The character development of Dr. Sam Loomis wasn't believable as a money/media whore, given what had transpired in the previous film. Then the last minute "change of heart"?

Almost done....

  • If a dollar could be given to repay the “government bailout” every time Laurie Strode cried, this country would be out of a recession.
     
  • Speaking of Laurie Strode, Scout Taylor-Compton acting was so horrible. Was she supposed to be a whiny Emo girl? I lost count how many times she used the F word and stated her life "sucked".
     
  • Rob Zombie loves using the F word.
     
  • The acting in this movie was truly poor.
     
  • The over the top blood and guts was basically torture porn.  It is like Zombie is trying so hard to be “dark” and “disturbing” and it comes off comical. For instance, Michael Myers was going out of his way to kill people. Some of these moments I was laughing so hard it hurt.
     
  • Every character was unlikeable; I truly didn’t care what happened to anyone.  I am still questioning myself why I didn’t turn the movie off.

Just a few more...

  • The entire supernatural/psyche aspect of Myers and Strode’s relationship was totally out of left field. 
     
  • Does Margot Kidder know Rob Zombie?  Her two small scenes seemed really out of place.
     
  • Did I mention the white horse and the lady dressed in white? Oh and Michael Myers eats a dog.
     


This movie didn’t receive the praise as its predecessor and I can see why.  This movie at the end of the day was unnecessary; everything was really tied up in the first film.  This movie was nothing more that a pot boiler.  Recommended for a deflating your IQ or hard core Rob Zombie fan.

I would rather lick a dirty toilet bowl than watch this movie again.

What did you think of this review?

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Post a Comment
June 15, 2011
I saw this because I did somehow like the first movie; but I didn't hate it as much as you did. Your review is making me crack up. Nice one and thanks for the read!
June 16, 2011
Looking back the first one really wasn't that bad, it was an interesting take, but this second one was just not doing it for me. I tried to be sort of funny with the review. I am glad I brought you some laughs and that you liked my review!!!
 
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More H2: Halloween 2 reviews
review by . January 15, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Completely Different Vision of Michael Myers and the
   I was admittedly quite satisfied with Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” (I saw the director’s cut) remake a few years ago. It wasn’t as good as the original but Zombie managed to put together a solid re-imagining of Carpenter’s horror classic while adding some nice (if flawed) additions to its mythos. I am a bit put off with the idea of a sequel of a remake, but I decided to give it a chance. Well, I haven’t seen the theatrical cut but I have been informed …
review by . November 17, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
Day Of The Devil
Surely purists of the original Halloween will undoubtedly keep the flame burning by trashing Zombie's latest horror flick. Either that or they will just sit this one out to wait for the Redbox rental & Netflix. In my honest opinion, I'd much rather be stabbed to death by Michael Myers himself than to sit through another one of those inane sequels to the original Carpenter flick. In fact, I'm kinda disappointed that no one acknowledges let alone admit that …
review by . August 28, 2009
H2 is the follow up to the first film of the rebooted Halloween series.  This time around Rob Zombie doesn't try to emulate the sequel of the original series, instead he creates a surrealistic dreamscape of a film that's totally unique in it's own way.  The murder set pieces are very brutal, violent and hardcore.  You wont see any PG-13 nonsense here.  Just a straight forward horror film that goes right for the jugular.      The film picks up right where the …
Quick Tip by . January 26, 2010
Nope, Rob didn't sell out. People need to reserve that comment un til they've actually seen the film. It didn't suck like Paranormal
About the reviewer
Joshua E Hoppock ()
Ranked #101
It is rather brisk in this field. The leaves are descending like a tapestry of aloof dreams. The wind entices these leaves into a plume of whimsical billowing ontological paradox. Then I recall that I … more
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Rob Zombie's follow up to his rebooting of the Halloween franchise.
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