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Lunch » Tags » Movies » Reviews » In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale » User review

Tragic magic

  • Nov 15, 2008
  • by
Rating:
+2
This movie is so unbelievably bad that I have to break it down into parts for this review.

Overview:

Based on a video game, it comes over as The Lord of the Rings lite, complete with Orc-like Krugs, John Rhys Davies, and a guy with a Legolas hairstyle. Bad guy Gallian (Ray Liotta) swirls around in clouds of smoke, and does his business through the eyes, ears and lips of really big Krugs who ride horses.

The only redeeming parts are the fight scenes with Statham, and even the battle scenes get monotonous after a while. And speaking of the battle scenes, we get the infantry and the archers and so on, but why do we have ninjas and Amazonian tree women in the mix-up? (Mind you, Kristanna Loken of the L-Word looks really good wrapped in leaves)

Leelee Sobieski is underutilized as the daughter of Rhys Davies character Merick, but comes into her own at the end, while Matthew Lillard does his Scooby Doo thing mainly for comic relief.

Short Attention Span Summary (SASS)

1. A farmer named Farmer farms his land with his family
2. Marauding Krugs under the command of Gallian attack
3. See Farmer fight
4. Fight Farmer, fight
5. Farmer fights in vain, but lives to fight again
6. The King wants Farmer in his army, but Farmer wants to be a one-man show
7. No man is an island
8. Farmer signs up, but has problems with the armor, which doesn't suit his image
9. Battle scenes
10. Change of leadership occurs
11. Grand finale with bad guy proves that books have power
12. Women totally rock


Characters:

Jason Statham's role

There once was a farmer named Farmer
Who was rugged, but really no charmer
When the Krugs came for battle
He killed them like cattle
Without ever wearing his armor

Ray Liotta's role

There once was a power drunk mage
Who totally failed to engage
He is so badly cast
It will leave you aghast
As he stinks up his time on the stage

John Rhys Davies' role

Though this ain't The Lord of the Rings
We're glad for the class that he brings
And though he's on his own
There's a Legolas clone
To help the return of the kings

Burt Reynolds' role

We're more than a little bit hurt
To see what's become of old Burt
More tired than mean
He's a creaky machine
Out of gas, and now fully inert

Conclusion:

This movie's no more than a joke
Filled with nothing but mirrors and smoke
With ninjas and magic
The plotline is tragic
And it's NOT Uwe Boll's master stroke.


Amanda Richards

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More In the Name of the King: A Dun... reviews
review by . April 07, 2008
Pros: Good FX and action. Perlman and Statham     Cons: Uneven plot. Some bad acting.     The Bottom Line: Despite the blemishes, this was a fun movie to waste a lazy Sunday afternoon to.     Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie''s plot. Turning a video game into a movie is often a very difficult task. Faced with legions of fans and the need to compact scores of hours of game play and story into a 90-120 minute …
see all In the Name of the King: A Dun... reviews (2)
About the reviewer
Amanda Richards ()
Ranked #38
I write reviews for a hobby. Most of my reviews are short and to the point, on account of my short attention span. I try to make my reviews both informative and entertaining, and sometimes I succeed. … more
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Details

Director: Uwe Boll
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action, Drama, Adventure, Fantasy
Release Date: January 11, 2008
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Screen Writer: Doug Taylor
Runtime: 2hrs 4min
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