"Hey, Nicole, that Legion movie looks kind of cool. Should I see it?"
Oh, you mean that apocalyptic-looking movie where the angel Michael comes down and gives the whole, "Your baby is the only thing that can save the world" spiel? And then they have to fight off angels with Uzis and submachine guns and look out for possessed adults and children and grannies?
Ok, you know what? Here's Legion in a nutshell:
You don't care about the characters (despite the attempts made to give them back stories so you do care). While the acting was relatively decent, the script was junk, so it's basically everyone grasping at straws while the world falls apart around them.
All the "demons" that aren't demons are really just there to look freaky and thus potentially freak you out. It only partially works. This includes the gore - it only exists for the sake of gore like most of the Saw movies.
While I can sort of appreciate the concept (as in God's not such a nice guy after all and in fact in this movie, Satan's probably thinking, "Dude stole all my good moves!"), it's hard to swallow considering everything we (religious and non-religious) have been led to think about God. I mean, drowning everyone in a flood is one thing; possessing people and having them do some really nasty things before dying is another. It's just not cool. So in an ironic sort of way, it's hard for me to suspend my disbelief. (I'm not saying that God doesn't have the power to be f-ing scary, nor that angels can't be mean bastards; it's just that in this movie God sounds like an angry child that wants to get his way, as evidenced by some of the lines, such as the one Michael gives to his former angel-buddy, "You gave him what he wanted, I gave him what I needed.")
You're stuck with plenty of unanswered questions about a lot of things. One of them being, "Dang. Why did I see this movie?"
Extraordinarily predictable. I sat there announcing just about everything that was going to happen. Who was going to die, how they were going to die, and who would crack next.
Clichés. The name of the diner being Paradise Falls being only one of them, and the fact that it's (surprise, surprise) miles upon miles from any other source of civilization, thus stranding everyone in the middle of nowhere, being another.
It's only 90 minutes long. Yeah, I know. And it's dark. All the time. Until the end when the sun rises to give it that "Hope lives" feeling. Lame.
It's just unimpressive. Sure, the angels and their CGI wings look cool, but you only get bits and pieces of one or two of them here and there. Even then you might roll your eyes from time to time. But the movie as a whole just...it's not good. For the things mentioned above and all the questions you're left with below, you'll be bummed you wasted 90 minutes of your life on it, and yet at the same time you'll be glad that it was just 90 minutes and not two hours.
Questions you won't get answered in Legion:
~Why is Jessie's baby so important? And by the way, if her baby was going to have skills enough to lead mankind out of the darkness (caused by God), why would God send down an angel to take it out? And for that matter, shouldn't God have the skills to stop that baby from being born in the first place? Isn't he supposed to be in control of souls and all that?
~How long do they have to tote around guns?
~So was God really all ticked off at us and needed an angel to set Him straight?
~Why is it when angels possess someone, the person looks like he/she is possessed by a demon?
~So are all the other cities and people in the world wiped out, or just most of them, or what?
~Where the heck is Satan during all of this? (Probably sitting back, eating popcorn)
~Pretty much any other questions you may have.
You know what I just thought? This movie is kind of like Terminator, only with angels instead of terminators. No, really, it's not that far off when you think about it...
So skip this movie and move on to more rewarding activities. Just trust me on this. You know what? Go watch Dogma instead.
Viewing Format: DVD
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age
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