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If I shoplifted this movie at a mall and got caught does that make me more pathetic then Paul Blart?

  • Aug 6, 2010
Rating:
-2

I remember this movie being in theaters for a long while and finally saw it.  How can something so average bring in so much money?  Maybe with the title "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" people were mistaking it for a new Will Farrell or John C Reilly movie like "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" or "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story"  With a name like Paul Blart: Mall Cop, I can't blame them for the confusion.

The story has tubby single father and now living back at home, Paul Blart as a mall cop at a New Jersey mall.  He does his best to make the mall run like a well oiled machine by keeping things under controll, even if it means giving a ticket for someone riding their scooter too fast in the mall.  While training a new partner during the height of the Christmas rush, the mall one night comes under attack by robbers who want to steal the malls money.  Paul gets wind of whats going on and a slipshod Die Hard parody ensues but hilarity doesn't where Paul goes from a zero to a sort of hero, but he's still fat.

I wasn't entertained.  Parts that are supposed to be funny are sad and other then Paul's daughter and the nice kiosk lady that Paul bothers to go out with, there are no characters that I liked either since everyone is a jerk or not well developed.

No, this didn't fulfill any expectations with even the idea of making a movie about mall/rent a cops being losers and trying to make it funny, especially when it's not a fresh cliche.

The movie's trailer really did try to put some hype with Kevin James the star doing silly things like using his bulk to break down a mall store's door or trying to slide across the floor for cover and coming up short.  They got a small giggle out of me in the trailer, but I knew they were coming in the movie and didn't make me laugh there.

Being put out by Happy Madison and having a popular comedian starring, this is very mainstream and not hard to find.  The fact it was a huge hit helps too.

A Negatvie 2 goes to Paul and his sillyness.  Thats what the movie is, silly, that or sappy or just plain sad.  While there are a couple of fun moments too many of them are stretched out and too many of the jokes that are SUPPOSED to be funny is the audience laughing at what a sad sack Paul is when, it isn't funny.  After you show the guy running the police obstacle course bloated, out of shape and with sweat under his man boobs and going home to use food (blackberry pie with peanut butter to be precise) to hide his misery, do you REALLY find this guy funny or even sympathetic?  I hate to say this about a nice guy but man what a loser.

The tone is even inconsistent with Paul tackling and tying up bad guys but later on having a BOMB blow up a bad guy.  We went from fat jokes, jokes about eating too much, jokes about the hero being a loser to the hero springing into action against the bad guys and even getting one of them BLOWN UP.  No movie tag line about no to fight the fat, or anything like that as sort of revenge?

Reccomend the movie to someone who likes Kevin James or someone whos a fan of Adam Sandler movies and wants to see the latest his production company comes up with next.  That or if you liked the idea of Observe and Report (the OTHER mall cop comedy out later the same year) but got turned off by it's R rating and want something a little softer and lighter.

Years ago, I saw one of the last movies Chris Farley made called Beverly Hills Ninja, about another fat misfit who springs into action when the time comes and I remember how bad THAT movie was.  Except THIS movie was a hit and not as funny and THAT movie actually had some laughs with a similar presance but flopped.  Proof why the below average will always survive.  I'm depressed-now I need some pie with peanut butter.

If I shoplifted this movie at a mall and got caught does that make me more pathetic then Paul Blart?

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December 19, 2010
I love Kevin James
 
August 08, 2010
so i as much as i hate to admit it...i am a security guard (no i don't work in a mall). so when i went to watch this movie i thought it would be funny because the only thing i enjoy about my job is making fun of it....i was majorly disappointed. not only was the movie not funny but the story line was really dumb....observe and report however was super funny!
August 08, 2010
Observe and Report wasn't a gold mine, but it did get some genuine laughs out of me.
 
August 08, 2010
I actually saw this some months ago, and while I didn't hate it, I thought the laughs were pretty predictable. I am totally with you on Beverly Hills Ninja--I actually enjoyed that just because of its martial arts backdrop. Entertaining review!
August 08, 2010
Thank you. It did give me more exposure to Kevin James who I never really cared for but it didn't change my opinion of him. I can't go into a movie like this expecting great acting or a story but I would at LEAST hope it would be funny.
 
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More Paul Blart: Mall Cop reviews
review by . December 19, 2010
In terms of comedies that came out in 2009, this one isn't that bad, and I don't really understand all the critical hate. I can definitely see where it went wrong, because the first half of the film really sucked. However, the mistakes of the first half are compensated for in the second half, which was pretty cool. Kevin James is also a likeable comedian, even if he didn't have much juicy material to work with, and the villain is easily the best character in the movie.      …
review by . February 27, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
KEVIN JAMES TEAMS WITH HAPPY MADISON ONCE MORE - AND BAS RUTTEN S HERE AS WELL
      PAUL BLART   MALL COP      I am a huge fan of Kevin James and own everything that he has been a part of that has been released; of course you know that I loved this film. The best thing about his film is that the whole family can watch and enjoy it. There have been many things said about this film but when it comes down to it this is still one of the highest grossing films of the year, a number one hit at the box office, and a successful DVD. …
Quick Tip by . February 27, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Caption
Kevin and writing partner Nick Bakay did a great job as did director Steve Carr because they were not afraid to push this PG film out, and how successful it was at the box office. You know we were there opening day and of course at midnight the day the DVD was released I had to be there to own it. Sure I am a huge fan but the more I support people I like the more they will keep putting out. This is a great film in my opinion and well worth a purchase.
review by . August 02, 2009
When I first saw he previews for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"I didn't think that it looked funny. However, I was told by a couple of people that is was a lot better than the previews, and since my wife and I are big Kevin James fans we decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, the theatrical previews were much funnier than the actual movie which was neither funny or entertaining.     One reviewer made the comparison between Kevin James and John Candy - which I think is appropriate. …
review by . June 22, 2009
Kevin James trades in his delivery uniform for a mall cop's garb in the family-friendly "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."     It's been years since Blart's wife left him and his daughter alone. The pair are living with his mother. While repeatedly attempting and failing to pass training at the New Jersey State Police Academy (due to his hypoglycemia), Blart holds down a job as a security guard at the local mall. With Christmas in the near future, the mall's business has picked up.    B …
review by . May 21, 2009
This movie just made me and my 13 year old son cringe. I'm sorry, nobody but nobody can possibly be that much of a misfit and then become the savior of the mall. I love a good stupid movie, really love them, this one just had way too many moments of, why in the world did he do that? Could everyone in the world be that stupid?     There were exactly two good laughs. One where Paul jumps from one van to another. And, well, I can't remember the other one - it was that good. What …
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John Nelson ()
Ranked #8
Born in Wausau Wisconsin. Move at an early age to Ventura California and lived for 8 years. Growing up in a big city landscape didn't prepare me for my next move: Archbold Ohio with a population of … more
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Attention, shoppers: FormerKing of Queensstar Kevin James makes the successful leap to big screen leading man with this Die Hard meets Home Alone slapstick comedy produced by Adam Sandler. In his most empathetic role since his endearing scene-stealing turn in Hitch, James (who also co-wrote the script) stars as biggest loser Paul Blart, a 10-year veteran of the West Orange, New Jersey shopping mall, where he gets no respect from taunting kids who pelt him with ball pit orbs, or a senior who brazenly violates Bart's strictly enforced speed limit in his motorized wheelchair. The film is slow to get rolling as it lays on the pathos as thick as the peanut butter the lonely, overweight and socially awkward Blart spreads on his pies ("Food fills the cracks in he heart," he tells his mother). But then, a band of cycling, skateboarding thieves presumably recruited from the X games take over the mall on so-called Black Friday, the busiest holiday season shopping day. Blart is "untrained, unarmed, and presents a huge target," but, like a plus-size John McClane on a Segway, he is the wild card determined to stop them and rescue his unrequited crush (Jayma Mays) who has been taken hostage. James carries the film on his massive shoulders (the supporting cast is strictly discount outlet, with comedian Adam Ferrara as a sympathetic cop and Bobby Cannavale fromWill & GraceandThird Watchas a bullying SWAT team leader the most familiar faces). He proves himself to ...
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Details

Cast: Kevin James
Genre: Comedy
DVD Release Date: May 19, 2009
Runtime: 91 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures
First to Review

"Two Good Laughs"
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