I am not sure what it is about Sarah Michelle Gellar that has me bewitched. Perhaps it is because her presentation in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” has left a permanent blemish on my psyche. Perhaps it is because I find something compelling about her performances. Perhaps it is the fact that she was born the same year, month and eight days after I. Perhaps it is just because I find her very attractive and on a carnal level I desire her. Regardless of the reason, I have watched many of her movies and television shows. The conclusion I have arrived at is many of the projects she is involved in are hit or miss.
So here we have “Suburban Girl”, a 2007 romantic-comedy staring Sarah Michelle Gellar and uh…Alec Baldwin. Before I even watched this movie I felt that this was an odd pair for a love story, but I decided that I wasn’t going to have a bias and give the movie a fair chance. The plot is Brett (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is an assistant book editor in New York City and she is a bit timid and self-conscious but hopeful one day of becoming a full-fledged editor. One day she meets a very well know publisher named Archie Knox (Alec Baldwin), under a rather dubious introduction. To paraphrase, the two use their grounds of the published word to spark a connection and begin a romantic relationship. There are ups and downs, intense feelings and empty promises. Not to mention that Archie is about 20 years older than Brett, this promotes a whole other set of problems.
I have to say this movie was flat out deplorable. I hated Archie and Brett and quite honestly didn’t care if they stayed together, broke up or dropped dead. There was zero chemistry between Gellar and Baldwin. To be perfectly frank, I am not sure who decided to cast Alec Baldwin, but it was a total party foul. Alec Baldwin about twenty years ago might have worked. When he was more handsome and smooth, Baldwin in the past ten years is only good for crude comedy and commercials. Otherwise he is a shadow of his former self. I do not see Brett going for Archie, with Baldwin in the role. I could see Richard Gere, Brad Pitt, George Clooney or David Duchovny as Archie….not bloated Alec Baldwin.
Another issue with this movie is it really wasn’t a comedy (It was actually really depressing). Now I don’t need chuckles or “LOL” moments in order to enjoy a movie, yet to label this movie as a comedy is false advertising. As a matter of fact, this was a melodrama engulfed with eye rolling dialogue/romance and never ending calamities. With regards to the calamities, it was like the writers just had to keep throwing havoc at the viewers. From Brett’s dizzy ex-boyfriend, Archie’s drinking problem, Brett’s father’s health, and Archie’s ex-girlfriends and is this relationship balanced or is it a teacher/student paradigm. Blah, blah, blah….
I could go on yet there is no point. I have watched some awful movies in my day, films that range from Hollywood Blockbusters to motion pictures that have a backyard production. I can report, in all truth this movie falls into my top ten of worst movies of all time…and I hated “The Human Centipede”. So Sarah Michelle, I still love you, just not some of your career decisions.
What did you think of this review?