This really ticks me off because I was in the mood for a good old slice and dice. This movie had so many cliches in it that it became redundantly dull, much like this review will probably turn out.
Written by Gordon Render and Malcolm Kohll, Bone Snatcher was directed by Jason Wulfsohn. It takes place in the heat and gritting landscape of the Namib Desert and surprise, most of the action takes place at night under the cover of darkness. What does this mean? Ya dont get a good peep at the creature, what else. Why bother?
Its all about diamonds kids and hunting for an allusive diamond pipe. When the team of prospectors finds a huge mound and break through, they become the hunted. Something is down there and it is hungry. What do we do? Call in the scientists, yeah sure, you just know they are gonna want to capture and preserve whatever it is.
Whatever it is seems to work in two stages. Its first gig is to locate an unsuspecting body and strip it of all its flesh. The second gig - DUH - snatch the bones. Hard to find out what is causing the disturbance when there is no evidence of a disturbance, except missing people.
The scientist shows up, hating every minute of his life and feeling like he has been shipped to the ends of the Earth or certainly to Hell. If he had one ounce of acting ability you might have felt some attachment to him but truth be told, you hope he will be the first one stripped of flesh.
So the truck plods out to the nether regions to locate the diamond pipe and missing prospectors but face it kids, there aint diddly squat to find except a camp cause the snatcher has done his snatching. Instead they find a broken down bus (one of theirs) and go off course to investigate. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Dont they watch monster movies?
Let me not forget the crew which consists of this ticked off scientist dude, some steaming sexy babe that wants to scrog everything that walks, her ex-boyfriend that has a constant hard-on and not in a sexual way, the supervisor that believes that the little woman should be back home baking brownies and waiting for hubby to come home, some native tracker that has more superstitions than Miss Cleo and my favorite, grannie the truck driver. Im sure she spits, cusses, and rubs her balls when no one is looking, I liked her.
Im sure most of these people had names but I didnt invest interest in them except grannie who was played by Rachel Shelley, to know her is to love her. Steamy sex kitten, Magda, was played by Adrienne Pierce and disgruntled scientist was Scott Bairstow. Nuf said about that.
The scenery was kinda beautiful in an absence of scenery way. I mean it was so stark as to be inviting. Not that Id want to live there, but pretty. Acting? Im sure youve attended at some time or another one of those plays in elementary school where all the kids line up and do a little something. All so painfully shy and having to be coached through all their parts? Oh, you have? Then youve seen this movie.
Let me just mention one thing before I blow this off entirely. It seems the creature was repulsed by fuel. You know, like gasoline and such? Well, and it almost hurts me to type this, get this - the truck this bunch of dimwits was traveling on was the fuel truck. Barrel after barrel of fuel. What do they do? Why, they dump some of the fuel around the truck to protect themselves after they discover its power. What do you possibly think happens? Seriously now? Did I mention they all smoked cigarettes? I guess Ill leave the supposition to your imagination.
Steer clear my little pretties, dont let the tantalizing cover on this movie snatch you up.
I've seen plenty of movies like this one. It has a neat story line in it, but for the obvious reasons that hinder B-movies, it falls short of its potential. "The Bone Snatcher" starts off well enough, with three miners being attacked and stripped of their flesh by some "thing." A group seeks out the three missing individuals and come upon two of their skeletal remains. The third member of the party is accused of murder by one of the search party members. Tracking his footprints, they find his remains … more
Jason Wulfsohn directs this suspenseful horror set in the barren desert. A disgruntled scientist (Scott Bairstow) finds himself stuck in the middle of nowhere, only to discover that relentlessly terrifying flesh-eating creatures have taken over the desert and are eating every human in sight. He must figure out a way to escape before he becomes a victim himself.
Item Name: The Bone Snatcher; Studio: First Look Pictures