Jessica Biel's hot but this movie is not. Sadisitc does not equate horror.
May 4, 2009
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) is a terrible film. Unlike the recent remake of Dawn of the Dead (which was good), the new T.C.M. is it's polar opposite (it is bad). I don't know why they even bothered with remaking this classic. Everything that made the original great is missing. Sadistic does not equate frightening or scary it's just stomach churning. The film makers need to take note. The only thing worth while about this flick is Jessica Biel. If you're a huge Jessica Biel fan (and what straight male isn't) then this one is for you. But even her presence isn't worth sitting through this masochistic mess. They filmmakers tried too hard. Yes, they tried too hard to be scary and they tried too hard to be cool and hip. They failed miserably.
Skip this picture and watch T.C.M the original and it's campy sequel. Avoid at all cost, unless you're a Jessica Biel fan. But remember curiosity killed the cat! Jessica Biel is the second hottest actress to sport a cowboy hat. Check out Myra Breckinridge, Raquel Welch raised the bar with her cowgirl outfit. But it's another film that's takes some stones to watch because it's just as unwatchable as this mess
** out of **** Marcus Nispel's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" takes Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" to almost painfully excessive new highs and lows. As can be expected from a film with the said director attached, there's a great deal of hard work that went into the technical and visual departments; and all such work pays off in the end. However, as with all the Marcus Nispel films, that's about it; he's a good hand when it comes to grotesque but strangely stunning … more
I watched the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" back when I was in college and again when this remake was released in the theaters. I enjoyed it very much, with its camp horror and constant terror throughout. It was a very good film, but it's young remake is also up to the task. Though most people who've watched the original will probably find more wrong with this film than folks who didn't(think old Star Wars vs. new Star Wars), this new version is actually pretty good. … more
This, the 2003 version of, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is an example of a remake done well. The movie stays fairly close to the original film with some minor changes and a different focus in storytelling. The movie opens with some "real" camera footage of police officers searching and investigating the Hewitt family house in Travis County Texas. A narrator introduces the story and a few minutes in one of the police officers hurls at the sights and smells being discovered. … more
HEADCHEESE! Did you know that Tobe Hooper's original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre was titled "Headcheese", but at the last minute the title was changed to TCM?The original 1974 TCM was filled with a group of hippy teenagers who pick up a hitchhiker,wind up in a backwoods horror chamber where they're held captive, tortured, chopped up, and impaled on meat hooks by a demented cannibalistic family. All the while, the character known as Leatherface who does the maiming,torturing and killing while maniacally … more
Pros: .. Cons: .. The Bottom Line: Nuttin like a chainsaw to get your attention Movie synopsis: A van of young adults travels down a lonely Texas road, picks up a hitchhiker. The mumbling young woman is deranged and beaten, pulls a gun from her nether regions and kills herself. In an attempt to find authorities, the group of young people fall under the hands and become the prey of the antics of the Hewitt family … more
I have never seen the original, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Let me start saying, that I made a mistake of eatting dinner and watching this movie at the same time. Um, yeah, I could hardly chew, and it was only the beginning. The cast is quickly overwhelmed by the unfamiliar terriotry, and sneaky people who aren't as helpful as they seem. It's in the middle of a hot, gross and sticky summer day. Some of the scenes are brutal, but I did not see any cannibalism in it. … more
The 2003 version ofThe Texas Chainsaw Massacreadheres to the pure and simple slasher movie formula: Introduce a gaggle of sexy young people, make vague gestures to distinguish them--Jessica Biel (Summer Catch) wants to get married and doesn't like pot, so she's our moral compass--then start hacking them to pieces one by one. The visual palette includes grimy crucified dolls, fly-specked pig carcasses, body parts floating in murky jars, a tobacco-chewing redneck sheriff, and many slender beams of sunlight cutting through dank, dusty interiors. The camera lovingly photographs Biel's tank-topped bosom and sculpted abs as she's running in terror from a bloated, chainsaw-wielding, human-skin-wearing maniac. This remake lacks the macabre comedy of the original; it's all about the nauseating sensation of waiting for something to jump out of the dark. Also featuring Eric Balfour (Six Feet Under) and R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket,Mail Call).--Bret Fetzer