|
Movies Books Music Food Tv Shows Technology Politics Video Games Parenting Fashion Green Living more >

Lunch » Tags » Movies » Reviews » The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (movie) » User review

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The third movie in the "Twilight" series released in 2010.

< read all 22 reviews

The Twilight Saga: Doing to Vampires what Harry Potter did to Witchcraft.

  • Jul 6, 2010
Rating:
-4
"Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

The smiling goth in the ticket booth at the drive-in means no harm. Her words are not spoken out of spite or malice, and there is no malicious intent behind her question. She is simply trying to share in the excitement of the theatrical release of the third film in the Twilight series, based on the novels by Stephanie Meyer. As far as she knows, the only reason someone would be paying to see Eclipse opening weekend is that they share in the joyful anticipation of yet another chapter of Bella and Edward's ongoing saga. She doesn't know the pain that her words inflict upon me, the shame and humility that comes with subjecting a grown man to this question. I should not be in a position that might force me to choose between Team Jacob or Team Edward. No man in his thirties should have to make such a choice.

But the girl means well, so I am not impolite. I smile and tell her that I am here simply to see the film so that I can review it for my film-review site and podcast dedicated to bad movies, and that I probably won't like it. Therefore, I really can't choose a side in the film's romantic triangle, as I am ultimately indifferent. Not quite grasping my reasoning, the young goth cheerily hands me my ticket stub and waves me through. Her farewell comment slaps me in the back of the head like a dull, rusty hatchet.

"Enjoy the show!"

At this point, you will probably guess that I approached my viewing of Eclipse with a fairly heavy bias. In my defense, it is hard to view a film sequel without any preconceived notions, unless the sequel in question is a vast departure from the previous films. There is very little about Eclipse that is a departure from the first two films in the series, other than a new director and a few fresh faces. I know. I've watched the previous films, so I am entitled to my so-called bias. I have earned it, one painful minute at a time.

First comment: The film opens with a Robert Frost poem. If there is anything more annoying than a romantic teen drama that opens with the lovestruck female lead reading a poem, it would be a romantic teen drama that opens with the lovestruck female lead reading a Robert Frost poem. If that isn't bad enough, the poem she reads is Fire and Ice. I don't care how much Bela's choice between the undead Edward and fiery-tempered Jacob is, nor do I care that the intended audience is middle-school students. This is still a exceedingly lame choice.

The third film of the Twilight series finds the main characters in pretty much the exact position that they were in  during the last one; Bela and Edward are still madly in love, Jacob is still a contender for Bela's love, and the redheaded vampire from the first film is still trying to kill Bela, Edward and his family of sweater-clad good-guy vampires. That about wraps everything up.

There is indeed a plot flowing through this familiar territory, but it is a rather thin stream of storyline, and the water isn't all that fresh. It seems that a local boy who ran away a year ago (in case you forget this, the film will kindly remind you every fifteen minutes or so until it becomes even more irrelevant) is now wandering the streets of Seattle raising an army of freshly turned vampires creatively dubbed Newborns for some nefarious purpose that just might involve Bela's angst-ridden heartthrobs and a few previously established not-so-nice sweater-less vampires.

Second Comment: Do we need to show the Space Needle in every Seattle shot? I can understand the establishing shots, but even well after the location of the young army-raising Forks-raised vampire has been repeated numerous times throughout the film, we are still subjected to the Space Needle looming ominously in the background. Apparently, when you live in Seattle, there is no escaping the omnipresent Space Needle.

Don't get all worked up at the thought of a vampire army. The word "army" is thrown around quite a bit, but the actual horde that ends up taking on the Cullen clan only number around twenty or so. The film actually takes the time to explain that a "Newborn" army is actually much more powerful than a human or older vampire army, so the audience shouldn't feel disappointed when the much-hyped battle against the Newborn army only finds the good-guy vampires and their werewolf back-up team outnumbered by a staggering two-to-one. Don't let the concept of an "uneasy truce" between the werewolves and vampires fool you either; for such a centuries-old animosity between two races of deadly creatures, they eventually band together with less trash-talking and glaring than is typical between rival lacrosse teams during a preliminary warm-up match.

Third Comment: Foreshadowing is a "literary technique used by many different authors to provide clues for the reader to be able to predict what might occur later on in the story." (Wikipedia. Sue me.) Showing narrated flashbacks and lengthy moments of awkward exposition that blatantly inform the audience what is going to happen an hour from now is not foreshadowing. It is annoying.  

This is the first film in the series to be directed by David Slade, who also directed 30 Days of Night. He also declared that he would never direct a Twilight sequel when confronted with the concept during an interview. Later, shortly after accepting a huge wad of cash to direct a sequel in the Twilight series, he claimed that he was only joking when he had said that. Another funny joke was played on anyone who thought that Slade would bring some of the action in the ultra-violent 30 Days of Night to Eclipse. The two scenes that might by jokingly referred to as action sequences are both shorter than Edward and Jacobs exceedingly boring and pointless heart-to-heart on the mountain peak the night before the big finale. The first was a brief high-speed chase through the woods that resembled the speeder-bike chase in Return of the Jedi more than anything else. Remember the aforementioned two-to-one battle with the football team-sized "Newborn Army?" There's the other. You might want to count the "training sequence" as an action scene. I don't.

Final Comment: When a girl pressures her boyfriend to have sex, and he responds by warning that it could be dangerous, implicating not that she could get pregnant, but that he might lose control and kill her in the middle of it, it is really hard to have any respect for the girl that says "That's okay, let's try anyway." If this sounds to you like the lead-in to either an extremely hot sex scene or an extremely bloody murder scene, you will be sorely disappointed twice over. Instead, you will find yourself subjected to a minute or two of very intense hugging and clothing-smoothing that continues until the shirts of both involved become partially unbuttoned, at which point they promptly decide that they have gone too far. And thus is played the greatest joke of all upon the poor men and boys dragged to see this film with their respective partners, and whose moment of hopefulness is quickly and brutally squashed beneath the heel of Stephanie Meyer's cinematic stilettos.  

Complaining about all of this is a moot point, however, as no one that wants to see Eclipse cares about any of this. All they care about is which potentially abusive boyfriend Bella (a name choice that is a slap in the face of any Bela Lugosi fan) chooses; the undead vampire that repeatedly tells her how much he would like to drink her blood as she dies, or the wild half-animal who has openly warned her of his potential for injuring her if he ever loses control around her. The fact that her indecision and dedication regarding this choice hardly changes from the last film shouldn't sour the fan base, either. It is so deliciously angst-ridden and illogically romantic that you could just die.

I don't want to be mean. I don't want to hate this movie. I don't want to tell the cheerful teenage Goth in the ticket booth on my way out of the theater that the movie she will probably see numerous times with her friends for free was the steaming pile of refuse that I thought it would be, and so much more beyond. But I'd be lying if I said anything otherwise. This is not a film. This is the third act in a four-part abstinence campaign disguised as a supernatural love-story that seems perfectly fine with teaching young girls to avoid sex, but readily risk their immortal soul or hideous disfigurement at the first dreamboat they bump into before graduation.

Eclipse sucked. So there, I said. It might be an unpopular opinion, but it is an opinion I have nonetheless earned. Just ask the young teenage Goth girl in the ticket booth that I made cry.

For the full verbal onslaught of this review, check out episode #17 of MovieSucktastic on iTunesPodcast AlleyPodcast.comorMovieSucktastic.com.
The Twilight Saga: Doing to Vampires what Harry Potter did to Witchcraft. The Twilight Saga: Doing to Vampires what Harry Potter did to Witchcraft. The Twilight Saga: Doing to Vampires what Harry Potter did to Witchcraft. The Twilight Saga: Doing to Vampires what Harry Potter did to Witchcraft.

What did you think of this review?

Helpful
4
Thought-Provoking
3
Fun to Read
3
Well-Organized
6
Post a Comment
August 09, 2010
Team Edward or Team Jacob? I'm team RPG to blow up the damn theater. When I've heard enough people say that the romance in these movies is even MORE unbeliveable then the romance in the Star Wars prequels, and the romance IS the movie-this makes for what must be a shallow series. I haven't seen any of these yet and reading what you wrote only reafirms my fears of these pasty pests. By the way, Jacob, if it is the one I think it is, why does his facial expressions always look like hes holding in a fart?
August 17, 2010
That's the whole "Angsty" theme, John. Just roll with it.
August 18, 2010
Eh, I'd rather just not watch the movies.
August 25, 2010
You are a wise man, John.
 
August 05, 2010
You have the only bad review because most people that don't like the film wouldn't bother to review it let alone talk about it. Although I don't agree with your view of Eclipse or of the Twilight Saga, everyone has a right to express their opinion and you have done a very good job at expressing yours. You have been very detailed, however your final comment had caught my attention. See the whole point to Bella (the girl you have no respect for) saying that its ok when Edward tires to explain the dangers isn't that she is OK with him possibly killing her, more to the point that she trusts him so much that she feels he is worrying over nothing. It has nothing to do with over eagerness to actually have sex and for the lack of it in the film but having the lead ups to the joke as you put it wasn't to torture you and other males in the seats but simple not how Stephanie Meyer's wtires. She is very vague and reserved when it comes to that topic. in fact in her writings she skips that scene almost altogether.
August 17, 2010
I can't say I've read the book (which I don't think matters much as I wasn't reviewing it), but when you make a film full of talk about sex, relationships, and half-naked beefy/hunky/heartthrobs walking around, you can't really dismiss the whole sex thing as inconsequential. As for the bedroom scene, I get that she trusts him and doesn't think he should be concerned. I also get that he has stated repeatedly in the previous films how tempted he has been to kill her and drink her blood.
 
July 17, 2010
Really? I have the ONLY bad review of this film?
 
1
More The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (mo... reviews
review by . July 04, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Twilight is a phenomenon.  There's no doubt about that.  It's acquired it's fair share of love and hatred alike.  But nothing seems to be as huge as when a movie comes out.  You can always find the theaters packed by audiences with anticipation on the day of the premiere and obsessive fans who are wondering which team you're on.  Team Edward.  Or Team Jacob.  Eclipse is the third film in the series, based off the book of the same name.  While …
review by . July 10, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
As a huge vampire buff my fascination started with the books, which I read through in a matter of less than 2 weeks. The first movie, Twilight was such a disappointment to me, that I have been skeptical about watching any more. However, I continue to watch more as a thing a friend and I do together, but because actually they keep getting better. With this being a bigger budget film than the two previous Twilight movies, I was definitely hoping for better and it delivered.      …
Quick Tip by . January 04, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
This is the largest budget movie where the camera almost never moves. I mean how much does it cost to pan or actually zoom instead of cut? Also the fight scenes lasted about a minute combined so apparently all the money went into CGI wolves and glitter (last time I checked glitter was still pretty cheap unless they have invented a kind that you can in fact wash off). Finally, acting? Hello, I'm convinced the cast can read but cute stand-ins can do that for scale. I mean it looked for a minute that …
review by . April 11, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
      I had been told Eclipse was the best Twilight movie. If by the best, those who hold that opinion, mean more half-naked Jacob, more intense staring deeply into one-another's eyes, more vampire action and kick-butt battle scenes, then they are correct.      I found Eclipse to be the darkest and creepiest of the Twilight series. Edward's obsessiveness over Bella is a trait that many a concerned mother has warned her daughter about. And I guess this …
review by . March 15, 2011
Dear Twilight Franchise --   I know that over the past handful of years you have been compared to the Harry Potter phenomina, which there is nothing wrong with since it was and still is wildly sucessful, but you should not have let that go to your head.  Just because HP is splitting the final story into two parts does not mean that you have to as well.  Yes Twilight blew up over night just prior to the first film.  Yes the books are a great YA (young adult) series that got …
Quick Tip by . April 20, 2011
Caption
While it's not nearly as bad as New Moon, Eclipse is hardly what I would call a great improvement in this series. The love story is as dull and the characters as vapid and self-obsessed as ever, though some much-needed humor is injected in to the series melodramatic love triangle. Part of the issue is with the poorly written script which all but glazes over any real characterization or plot and focuses more on longing glances and sighs of romantic frustration. Yuck. Another part of the …
review by . July 19, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
There's something funny about the Twilight Saga- both the books and the movies. The books are good, especially the last one (Breaking Dawn), and the first two movies are fair. So why did I still find myself standing in line like an obsessed teenager to see Eclipse, the third movie installment, on opening day? I'm still not sure, but I'm glad I did.   Eclipse is by far the best movie of the three Twilight installments. Of course, we see the whole Bella/Edward/Jacob triangle. …
review by . July 02, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Twilight Saga Eclipse
These movies just get better and better every time. I went with a friend to go see Eclipse, I was extremely excited to see what was going to happen. It was great to see that they brought in new vampires (newborns) to join forces with Victoria, and go against the Collin's. Little did Victoria know that the Edward's family join forces with Jacob's family. I loved every bit of this movie from beginning to end. However I tend to hate when they make sequels and the change the characters, …
review by . July 15, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
What Pompted You to write a Review?   Well to start off Eclipse was a movie I was so anxious to see and many other die hard twilight fans. I anticipated the release of the movie (but didnt wait in line for the premiere thank you very much) and to my dismay was dissapointed.     How was the Plot, Acting, Direction?   The Acting I might be to harsh on since many fans will tell me im wrong but these characters are not the best …
review by . June 30, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" abruptly ended with Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) telling his girlfriend, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) that he will turn her into a vampire on the condition that they get married first. And so "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," the third film in a series serving as an extended metaphor for abstinence, begins with the two lovingly lying in a field of flowers, and you can sense the anticipation they both feel, especially Bella, who radiates with virginal longing. As bothersome …
About the reviewer
S. Michael Wilson ()
Ranked #213
I am the editor and coauthor of Monster Rallyand the author of Performed by Lugosi. I am also a co-host of the wildly popular film review podcast MovieSucktastic.      As a writer, … more
Consider the Source

Use Trust Points to see how much you can rely on this review.

You
smichaelwilson
Your ratings:
rate more to improve this
About this movie

Wiki

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is an upcoming romantic-fantasy film scheduled for release on June 30, 2010. It is based on Stephenie Meyer's Eclipse and will be the third installment of The Twilight Saga film series, following 2008's Twilight and 2009's New Moon. Summit Entertainment greenlit the film in February 2009. Directed by David Slade, the film will star Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner, reprising their roles as Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, and Jacob Black, respectively. Melissa Rosenberg, who penned the scripts for both Twilight and New Moon, will be returning as screenwriter.

Filming began on August 17, 2009 at Vancouver Film Studios, and finished in late October, with post-production began early the following month. Because of scheduling conflicts, Bryce Dallas Howard will playVictoria, replacing Rachelle Lefevre who previously played her. It will be the first Twilight film to be released in IMAX.

view wiki

Details

Director: David Slade
Genre: Action, Drama, Fantasy, Romance
MPAA Rating: PG-13
DVD Release Date: December 4, 2010
Runtime: 124 Minutes
Studio: Summit Entertainment
First to Review
© 2014 Lunch.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
Lunch.com - Relevant reviews by real people.
()
This is you!
Ranked #
Last login
Member since
reviews
comments
ratings
questions
compliments
lists