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The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The second movie in the Twilight series released in 2009.

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This Film is SUCKAGE...But it Doesn't Even Suck Blood!

  • Apr 4, 2010

Let’s get one thing out the way; I am not this film’s target audience and I am not at all familiar with Stephanie Meyer’s books. So why the heck would I even bother to see the sequel to “Twilight” when I didn’t like it at all? Well, my friend @Sean_Rhodes had created a list of “Twilight” promotional products that were quite frankly a little freaky and I do work with someone who is a closet fan, so I said why the heck not? “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” is the film based on Meyer’s 2nd novel about juvenile vampire angst and romance. This time around, the franchise gets a different director in the person of Chris Weitz who had directed “The Golden Compass”. Not much has changed since the first film; it still has a goofy premise, a screenplay filled emo crap and it depends heavily on the forgiving teen enthusiasm to provide huge box-office returns. At least, this time around, the director has more skills than Catherine Hardwicke who directed the first film…decent directorial skills doesn’t mean a better movie, especially when the premise of the film is beyond help.
Bella (Kristen Stewart) is looking forward to graduating from high school and sharing a future with her vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattison). Bella is turning 18 and so when a birthday party bash ends with an incident that almost led to Bella being almost attacked by one of Edward’s family members, reality comes knocking at the two lovebird’s doors. Edward and his family leaves the town of Forks leaving behind a very heart broken Bella to deal with her depression. She does find some comfort in the company of Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) who is ready to make his feelings for Bella known. But suddenly, Jacob turns Bella away, as he finds out that he is destined live his life as part of a werewolf clan and now, Bella may be looking for another life in peril. Now with Edward facing a trial with the vampire elders led by Aro (Michael Sheen) and Jacob confused between his human and animal instincts, Bella becomes torn between two lovers; she may become the reason for a ‘treaty’ to be ignored…

          Look....I'm flirting with your grilfriend...
                         Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."
The first “Twilight” movie was just laughably goofy with scenes that were filled with such teenage angst, “staring contests” and super-hero-like ‘cool’. While this sequel does show some effort in taking the world Meyer crafted to the big screen, it just had so little material to work with. Weitz is a stronger director than Hardwicke and was able to make some credible scenes such as when the werewolves pursued Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) across the forest; the scene was rather cool with the editing tricks, cool soundtrack and some basic use of wirework. Weitz showed some skills in direction in those scenes; but ok, the one compliment this movie is going to get from me is done.
             oh yeh, we have red contact lenses...we look cool too. 
               Charlie Bewley as Demetri and Daniel Cudmore as Felix in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."

                                             Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."
Weitz tries to generate legitimate emotions with the love triangle between Edward, Bella and Jacob but it seemed like the more the actors spent time to express the emotions in a scene, the more it became quite nauseous. It wasn’t so much as the fault of the director or the screenwriter but I would have to imagine that the source material is to blame. The dialogue is just horrible and they all felt very obligatory; they felt very hollow. The story is just so stilted and quite frankly, it made very little sense. For a young woman who had just turned 18, Bella still behaved liked a spoiled little lovesick infant and for a 109-year old vampire (I thought Edward was 300 years old in the first film?), he still acted like a stupid teenager. Sorry, but the days of committing suicide because of heartache is long past over; this formula has been played out so many times before. Love is something to be cherished, not something to be selfish about. The scenes with Bella tossing and turning and complaining that her heart was broken to pieces was just too overplayed and it overstayed its welcome. Also, Bella putting herself in danger just so she can experience her delusions of Edward was just so dumb. Sure it may be a metaphor for being a rebel or something, but Meyer needs to do her homework when it comes to human behavior. Note to Stephanie Meyer: Women DO NOT need men to live their lives.

    Yeh, we're so cool so we're werewolves and we're shirtless...
    Alex Meraz as Paul, Kiowa Gordon as Embry Call and Chaske Spencer as Sam Uley in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."

                     OMG! He's ssoo dreamy!!
                       Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz and Robert Pattinson in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."
Plus, when is Hollywood going to learn that the Native American “Skinwalkers” legend aren’t werewolves but ‘shape shifters“? Please a little respect. Sure they have links to Lycanthropy, but please, the “Underworld” movies have already played this “vampire vs. werewolves” formula to better execution. This time around, the focus of the story (if really there was one) is Bella and Jacob; Pattison had very limited screen time. Jacob likes to walk around shirtless to display his abs after he learned his destiny as a wolfman. Geez…I thought werewolves had to stay inconspicuous? The Jacob character had very limited range but Lautner did steal the show in a bad movie. 

                 oohhh...I love you....
                   Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."
Michael Sheen plays Aro, the near-manic leader of the Voltari vampire elders with Dakota Fanning as their mysterious enforcer. Some secrets are hinted at that made me wonder why some details are so, it is too bad that the elders’ screen time was so limited since they were the only interesting devices in the film. Weitz tries to throw in a “soul” premise as to what makes a vampire but the script just wasn’t smart enough to capitalize. The special effects looked like they were something lifted from a music video. Given the advancements in CGI, I was real surprised just how poor the werewolf effects were.
‘Twilight: New Moon” is nausea-inducing juvenile romance fantasy that is full of cut-short make out sessions, the comings and goings of past loves, and the teenage declarations of love. I guess in Meyer’s universe, werewolves spend a lot of money on shorts and vampires like to relive their lives as teenagers with red eyes. I do appreciate the effort that Weitz tried to put into ‘New Moon”, as it was noticeable that he was trying to find the story’s footing and solidify Meyer’s mythos; but not even Spielberg will be able to save a movie with such a poor storytelling. The film ends abruptly, giving room for the next sequel “Eclipse” to be anticipated. “New Moon” is just as goofy and silly as the first movie, but it tries to deliver its silliness with a straight face and a serious tone. So I think it would be safe to assume that “Eclipse” will be more of the same. I refuse to call this one a “vampire movie”, it is just a mere piece of juvenile fantasy, and not a very good one at that.
SKIP IT [1- Star]

HYPE LEVEL: So Embarassingly Over-Hyped. This made more than $ 100 million in the box-office? It's funny the Twilight haters just kept on seeing it in theaters. Note to "supposed haters":...You hate it, don't see it in theaters! Don't encourage Meyer! This is the type of movie that is so bad that you just have to see it? Closet fans: Please stand up and declare your belief! LOL

This Film is SUCKAGE...But it Doesn't Even Suck Blood! This Film is SUCKAGE...But it Doesn't Even Suck Blood!

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April 07, 2010
I refuse to see these films, great review man thanks for letting me know I made the right choice.
April 10, 2010
stay away form this movie, Alex....far away LOL!
November 17, 2010
I was forced into seeing the first 2, only thing I was interested in was seeing Dakota Fanning as a Vamp.
April 05, 2010
Your review title and mine are quite similar. LOL! Still sucks, huh? Stephenie Meyer's future will be full of sucking and biting from the looks of it.
April 05, 2010
I wanted to post this under vampire historians but I still think it is an insult to even consider it a vampire movie so it stayed within 'hype'. I'll review FROM DUSK TILL DAWN or BLADE 2 for you to make it up ok?
April 05, 2010
Definitely, go for "From Dusk Till Dawn". I don't think I have a review for that yet in the community. Also, I may have review request for once you've sent me the picture via e-mail.
More The Twilight Saga: New Moon reviews
review by . November 20, 2009
Me and Edward Cullen
If you've read the books, there's no spoiler here....      Before entering the theater, I definitely paused at the table selling Team Edward and Team Jacob T-shirts. It caused a moment of self-reflection: Which team AM I? Team Edward or Team Jacob? The cold vampiric Edward Cullen or the warm werewolf Jacob? Which group of teen girls would I "Woo hoo!" with when my leading man came on screen? It's the question that engages the female audience …
review by . March 25, 2011
Twihards went out in full force and filled midnight screenings all over Manhattan. The same time late year I attended the midnight screening of Twilight on 34th st, but choose to catch the second installment at a theater in queens, and the thing I noticed is that those who attended the screening all seemed to be much older then the fans that attended the first film. Was it the area? Is it just the the fans have grown up that much in the past year? Or is the Twilight series beginning to become so …
review by . July 18, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
  I was so disgusted with the first Twilight movie that i didn't even want to go see this one. But after much prompting from my friends i went to see it and was surprisingly....not disappointed. The plot followed the book so well it was painfully obvious that it was a different director, one who clued in to the fact that Twilight fans don't want to pay $10 to see their favorite books mangled and massacred accross the screen. To say that the acting greatly improved would be an …
review by . November 25, 2009
While New Moon personally isn't the best of the Twilight series of the books, its now turned out to be the better of the films that have come out thus far.  New Moon's new film direction makes it very understandable why Catherine Hardwicke got kicked out of the directors chair for the sequel.  New director Chris Weitz, who was responsible for directing The Golden Compass, gave New Moon a more serious feel while attempting to take as much cheese out of the film as possible.  While …
review by . November 23, 2009
posted in Movie Hype
When it comes to the Twilight Saga, there's no denying the unusual popularity (no matter how strange it may be).  I read all four books and while I'm not big fan of Twilight, I actually will admit that when it came to New Moon, I rather liked that story.  Probably because Edward was hardly in it, but also because it's the only story which introduces us to Jacob.  The only reason I like Jacob?  He's the only character Meyer ever created that seemed to have actual dimension.  …
review by . June 25, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
New Moon
WOW...That is the word that everyone should be saying to this movie. What this movie brings is something that no one expects. In the first we find out about Edward and his family are Vampires, but now in New Moon we have Jacob and his family transform into wolves that is just something you dont expect when watching Twilight.      When You first watch a vampire movie or show you first think its going to be gory...But these showed a whole different side to the vampire story. Meaning …
review by . June 29, 2010
I spent much of my review for "Twilight" pointing out how the story was a Mormon abstinence parable masked as a teen vampire romance. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" is essentially the same thing, but this time around, I was more bothered by its unbearable pacing, its emotionless performances, and its confusing subplots, none of which will make much sense unless you're intimately familiar with both the first film and all of Stephenie Meyer's books. Already then, a sizeable audience has been alienated, …
review by . September 12, 2010
   Team Jacob, Team Edward? I must say I'm in neutral territory on this one. After seeing Twilight and then attempting to read the book I'm giving all that I've absorbed a thumb's up for storytelling and creativity, and a thumb's down for over-the-top drama.      However, even though I will not join either team Edward or Jacob at this point in time, the story lines of nebulous good vs. evil, love vs. obsession and immortality are fascinating.   …
review by . September 11, 2010
Team Jacob, Team Edward? I must say I'm in neutral territory on this one. After seeing Twilight and then attempting to read the book I'm giving all that I've absorbed a thumb's up for storytelling and creativity, and a thumb's down for over-the-top drama.    However, even though I will not join either team Edward or Jacob at this point in time, the story lines of nebulous good vs. evil, love vs. obsession and immortality are fascinating.    I had a little …
Quick Tip by . July 20, 2010
the best movie thus far in the saga...but i think if they do it right the breaking dawn duo could probably change my opinion on that!
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About this movie


The second movie in Stephenie Meyer's vampire saga finds Bella shortly after her 18th birthday, Edward and his family leave the town of Forks, Washington in an attempt to save Bella from the dangers of "their world". Depressed and heartbroken, Bella meanders aimlessly through her senior year. However, when she's in danger, the image of Edward comes to her. Through her deepening desire to be with him, she puts herself in greater danger and takes more risks.

A childhood friend, Jacob helps her build a motorbike to carry her on her travels and suddenly her once cold heart starts to warm with the budding relationship with Jacob, a member of a secret tribe with a supernatural secret all his own.

When Bella comes face to face with her arch nemesis, a group of supernatural wolves come to her rescue and it becomes clear that she is still in grave danger. She finds out Jacob's tribe's secret and the real reason Edward left. She ends up in a potentially deadly reunion with Edward which was far from what she had expected.

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Director: Chris Weitz
DVD Release Date: March 20, 2010
Runtime: 130 minutes
Studio: Summit Entertainment
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