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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

A movie directed by Michael Bay

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Dark of the Moon... a journey to Cybertron and back again

  • Jun 29, 2011
  • by
First off I should preface this by confessing that I am a big transformers fan: 1) I blame my brother for introducing me to the cartoon series at a young age and 2) I blame Michael Bay for making it look so badass to be a transforming robot.  I mean, let’s be honest here, Bay has created three films for a franchise that can now continue to grow by showing younger generations that “old” cartoons make for some pretty cool stories (and toys).

Granted, I should give myself a disclaimer, adding that Bay is not a great story teller by any stretch of the imagination, and his films aren’t meant to be Oscar winning or anything close to that, but it is obvious that he knows how to entertain an audience.  But let’s digress, as I need to just throw this out there to who hate Michael Bay, perhaps you need to look beyond the story, sure there the story is faulty, but you do have to admit the skill Bay shows creating explosions and CGI transforming robots is the coolest thing and for the audience he is creating for, it is beyond cool.

So to all you Bay haters – Get over it! Stop beating yourself up by trying to make Bay something more than he is: a genius for bigger, badder things that go boom, with an eye for detail with CGI that make fans nerd-gasm in their pants.  Mhmm I said it, and all you out there reading this know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to the nuts and bolts of why we are here.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a visually stunning summer blockbuster.  Although, it clearly suffers a bit of a rocky start, leading with some awkward transitions in storytelling and poorly casted extras wearing highly recognizable full face prosthetics that make the actors look like the Barbie factory had a mishap in their Ken department, but by the film’s mid-point, you have all but forgotten the pathetic, torture of the opening scenes, and have moved on to enjoying Bay’s in-your-face entertainment.  But before too long you are reminded of the storyline when wait a minute… is that Buzz Aldrin making a cameo appearance (a la Stan Lee style)?  Hehe oh yes, it is. Michael Bay all but bitch-slaps the audience with the insanity of humans casted in various roles throughout Dark of the Moon.

So we have covered the astronaut appearance, and we know that Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwichy, Josh Duhamel as Lennox, the whacky John Turturro as “Former” Agent Simmons, Tyrese Gibson as Epps, and thankfully Megan Fox has been kicked to the curb and replaced by British Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who is just a hot bod in heels.  Yet, it is the new faces that make cast dynamics so interesting; John Malkovich plays Sam’s insane boss Bruce Brazos and Frances McDormand plays the US Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing, each of their appearances almost brings about a Burn After Reading hilarity to an already outrageous film.  Without giving away too much I just want to add this, it is nice to see McDreamy get his ass handed to him by a kid.  But let’s not forget, the Transformers series is not about the humans… it is about the robots!

It was great to see the traditional characters back in action.  Bumblebee is adorable as ever (I’ve missed the teary eyed Autobot since Revenge of the Fallen), Ironhide is still a badass, and of course Optimus Prime who has a few upgrades of his own like a trailer full of new toys that he can combine to create even bigger explosions and Decepticon destruction. But it is the quirky Autobots like Wheelie and the addition of Brains and an Albert Einstein look alike Bot named Wheeljack that make it clear that Dark of the Moon is all about having fun.  Even the fact that the addition of Leonard Nimoy, who voices Galvatron, brings a smile to ones face and may even bring out some of the Trekkies .

My only real complaint with the Dark of the Moon is that after seeing it in IMAX 3D, I wish that Bay had stepped back and provided a few more slow-motion transformation sequences like those in Revenge of the Fallen was so full of.  There is so much taking place in Dark of the Moon, and with characters like Driller (Shockwave’s pet), the screen was so busy I had a hard to focus on all the action.  I, personally would have loved to have seen more CGI that the Transformers franchise has become so well known for, and yet maybe even another “big robot balls” joke or two.  But all in all the film is highly entertaining, well worth the money and 155 minutes spent in the theater.

Dearest Michael Bay I ask, will you ever again give us a film shy of the 120 minute marker? Although I will happily confess that I am an avid admirer of your “make it bigger” philosophy with regards to explosions, fight sequences and CGI effects, I feel you will leave me no choice but to do the potty dance as I race from the theater after your films.  Word to the wise: if you plan to see Transformers be sure to use the restroom before entering the theater and opt out of the Michael Bay size sodas that the concession stands are now selling.  This is just a warning for adults, come in pairs, one to watch the kids in the theater and one to make the multiply potty runs.

I give Transformers: Dark of the Moon a 2 out of 5 for story and a 4 out of 5 for badass-ness.

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More Transformers: Dark of the Moon reviews
review by . July 01, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Too Much Excessive, Inane Issues Hamper The Potential Gritty Appeal of The Robot Fights...
Allow me to re-elaborate how I felt about the first two films in the “Transformers” saga directed by Michael Bay and co-produced by Steven Spielberg. I know that the films were never faithful to the cartoon series nor to the 80’s comic books, but we have to remember that those two installments were made to promote a toy line from Hasbro and so all three films have the label “based on the Hasbro toys“ and this trilogy of films were made to sell more toys. The first …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
There is something to admire about Michael Bay.  He makes the movies he wants to make and doesn't care what the critics or anyone else thinks.  He knows exactly what his fans want and always manages to deliver on that front.  There is something quite admirable about a man who wants to simply sit back and make senseless movies.  That's actually not an insult, it's a compliment.  That doesn't mean I like Michael Bay movies, but it does mean that I have no big …
review by . June 29, 2011
Delivering a much-needed shot of adrenaline to the summer movie season, "Transformers: Dark of the Moon", arrives awash in stunning visuals and cutting-edge 3-D.     The movie picks up a few years after the events of the last film, as Sam (Shia LaBeouff), is struggling to adjust to his post college life. Despite the fact that he has been honored by the president for his heroic actions in the two previous films, Sam finds himself like many graduates, unable to find a job in today's …
review by . April 23, 2012
If there is one thing that must be said first in this review, it is that this film is the equivalent of The Godfather compared to its predecessor. That being said, I actually enjoyed this movie, and not just in the dumb-fun action movie kind of way. Sure, it falls into the same holes that all Michael Bay movies fall into, namely a weak script, thin characters, and a runtime that overstays its welcome. The main character's parents are also back (though for a mercifully short amount of screentime) …
review by . July 08, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
As the Transformers movies went on, they got better and better each time for one reason, the humans got pushed to the background and we got to see more Transformers, more action and more excitement.  The first movie took it's damn time getting the Transformers out there with only glimpses of them here and there before a great action finale.  The second one, while maligned by many for many good reasons of too much comic relief, creaky story telling and broad racial stereotypes at least …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
   Dark of the Moon was one of the most anticipated summer movies because it announced the closing, the ending, the final venture of this human and alien robots story. The last movie was pretty much acknowledged as a total catastrophe by the critics and cinephiles around the globe even though it scored highly at the box-office (like that really matters when judging quality). It was built on pure non-sense defining the point-less action movies of this generation. However, everyone turned …
review by . June 30, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Star Rating:         Why are they still making these movies? If you even think of coming back at me with, “Because they make money,” you no longer have permission to read my reviews. Even escapist movies that require no thought and have no message to send deserve good characters and decent dialogue, and they should at the very least be entertaining. Is that really so hard? For Michael Bay and his crew, especially his screenwriters, the answer is apparently …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
I don't believe Michael Bay has ever met a special effect he didn't like or an object he didn't want to blow up. For those fans of Michael Bay you are gonna get more of the same, maybe even a little darker than his attempts before. For those of you who are fans of non-stop action and that is all you need from a movie than by all means stop reading here and enjoy the film. I am not a Michael Bay fan and maybe that bias gets in the way, but good lord was this a dumb movie.   …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Transformers-Dark Of The Moon' 'Two Jews On Film' Are On Different Planets With This One (Video)
   By Joan Alperin Schwartz      'Transformers - Dark Of The Moon' presented in 3D is directed by Michael Bay.      First, I'll start with the good stuff.  And yes, there is 'good stuff'.  In fact, I think this is the best 'Transformers' of the series...which may or may not be saying much...depending on how you felt about the other two.      Here it goes...In no particular order...What I liked …
review by . July 05, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
15 - 157mins - Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 29th June 2011   Our summer of sequels continues with the Transformers returning to the big screen with their third outing. After the rather disappointing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen I have to say that my hopes were not particularly high for this one.    Dark of the Moon is set several years after the second movie where Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is struggling to get a job and return his life to normal and yet this still hasn't stopped …
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Hannah aka Angry Penguin ()
Ranked #109
I am a film fanatic, constantly watching films new and old. When not watching movies I'm reading YA lit or sci-fi/fantasy novels, or working on completing my own book.      If … more
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Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the third and final film in the Transformers film series, directed by Michael Bay and produced by Steven Spielberg. It is the sequel to Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and is scheduled for release on July 1, 2011, in Real D 3D, regular 2D theaters and IMAX.[1]

Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro are set to reprise their starring roles, with Peter Cullen returning as the voice of Optimus Prime. Ehren Kruger, who collaborated in the writing of the second film, was said to be again involved in the writing. Despite having initially been confirmed for the film,[2] and with the film already into principal photography, it was announced that Megan Fox would not be reprising her role from the previous two films. With Fox's character Mikaela being dropped, Sam was assigned a new love interest, who will be played by English model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Also, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, having written the first two films, will not return for the third installment in the series,[3] which Orci had earlier somewhat anticipated, fearing the duo would "risk getting stale".[4] Bay has stated this would be his last installment in the series.[5]

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Director: Michael Bay
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Release Date: 1 July 2011 (USA)
Screen Writer: Ehren Kruger
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