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Elfen Lied

A television show

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I no longer fear death because I saw this. 0%

  • Jul 4, 2011
Rating:
-5
I saw Elfen Lied in May of 2008, thinking it would be a masterpiece (given the large amounts of gushing reviews), but what I got was an anime so awful, I was nearly turned off the entire genre because of it. Fortunately, AD Police and the works of Satoshi Kon roped me back in. What disgusts me more than Elfen Lied are the legions of imbeciles that are fellating this dreck to death because after you read my review, you'll know that these people aren't really bright.

Lots of people will tell you this is a masterpiece in anime but they're DEAD WRONG. I'm not focusing on the well known over abundance of violence and nudity, I'm focusing on how everything is contrived beyond the point of there being any shred of plausibility or coherency. I will provide examples as of why. 


The plot is that there's a mutated race of humans called the Diclonious, which are mostly girls that have horns that look like cat ears and invisible arms called vectors that can tear apart anything. Their goal is to wipe out humanity, many of them are studied in a research facility in Japan. One of them named Lucy breaks out of her cell and begins killing people left and right. A sniper nearly kills her but only winds up shattering her helmet and causing her to plummet hundreds of feet into the sea. Kouta and Yuka find her naked on the beach and decide to take her home. The research facility wants her back and sends assassins, the army, and other Diclonious to get her back or kill her.


CHARACTERS:

The characters have no semblance to reality whatsoever. Aside from the fact that Kohta and Yuka take in a naked mentally ill girl without telling anyone, there's other examples of this problem. Why is it that when Kohta finds out that Lucy killed his little sister and dad, he doesn't show any resentment towards Lucy? I'm not expecting Kohta to go all “Rambo” on Lucy (thought that could have been a little satisfying), but wouldn't be a little more realistic if he at least verbally blasted her in a relatively passionate manner? Also, why is it that Mayu doesn't become a severe pessimist after being molested by her stepdad and having to live off her pet dog's food? The characters aren't deep, either; they're all shallow stereotypes. Kohta is the cliché mousy male character who finds himself surrounded by women, Yuka and Lucy/Nuy are among the several women feuding each other for Kohta's attention, and Lucy has a split personality; when haven't we seen this stuff before? The more snob-ish type of EL fan will over analyze this cliché and try to justify its existence by comparing it to the concepts of C.G. Jung or Freud in an attempt to make this look deeper than it really is, but it's nothing more than ripping off Tenchi Muyo or Love Hina. Lucy's backstory about how she became a naked meatgrinder isn't the least bit impressive. Oh look, she was bullied as a kid and they even killed her dog, how sad!! Didn't every nu-metal band in existence abuse the whole “I'm a victim, I hate the world!!” theme to death in their faux-aggressive music? Another thing is that we're supposed to see Nana as some sort of tragic figure since she's constantly getting torn up and pummeled but I think it's just her fault since she's so unbelievably passive.

CARELESS MIXING OF GENRES:

Elfen Lied carelessly mixes genres of anime and while the legions of shallow people hailing this as the greatest thing ever see that as original, rational people like myself are absolutely disgusted by it. Look, certain genres don't go together. Seeing cheap pornographic grindhouse action in one moment and seeing sappy harem comedy the next just doesn't work.

PLOT-HOLES, CONTRADICTING THEMES, BAD ENDING, AND BAD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Right from the beginning, Elfen Lied is asking you to leave your brain at the door prior to watching it. Lucy escapes the research facility as is knocked unconscious by a sniper's bullet striking her helmet and forcing her to fall into the ocean. Aside from not dying on impact from the water (she fell hundreds of feet), how does she not break any bones and not drown? She's unconscious, she can't swim, so how does she survive being in the water?!! Apparently, EL's theme is that humanity is monstrous to beings it sees as “inhuman,” which is supposed to explain the scientists torturing and killing the Dicloniuses. I wouldn't have a problem with that if the message didn't contradict itself. The Diconiuses kill people on instinct and the head of the company doing these experiments, who turns out to be a Diclonius, WANTS them to kill of humanity. Also, the fact that this guy is a Diclonius doesn't make sense since he's in charge of this company and therefore in charge of the torturing and killing of his own species. If I cared about anyone in EL (I don't), I'd want to see the Diclonius race get exterminated because the writers screwed up their “message” that badly. EL leaves a lot of things unexplained since it not only reveals that the company head is a Diclonius towards the end, nothing is fleshed out about that afterwards. It also has the worst ending I've ever seen in film since NOTHING is explained. I don't mind “spoiling” it for those who haven't seen this abomination since it leaves you thinking that Lucy MIGHT have been killed (of course, they take the pretentious route by not showing it to leave you guessing) but Kohta comes to open the front gate of his house with a shadow on it and once he reaches for the handle, it ends. WORST ENDING EVER. We're introduced to Lucy as seeing her as a beast, but they later change her a little to make her sympathetic to audiences. Apparently, seeing Lucy as Nyu is supposed to make me like her, they failed miserably. All Nyu does is shamble around naked and say “Nyu” as she breaks things, this is supposed to make me overlook her insatiable blood thirst?!! It's like they can't decide if they want me to see Lucy as a monster or an infantile bimbo; either way, she's an abhorent character. There's a lot of “deus ex machina” moments that really kill off any plausibility this might have had like when Bando and his comrade corner Nyu and RIGHT before they kill her, she turns to Lucy and attacks. The writers for Elfen Lied were either a bunch of monkeys with Microsoft Word or a bunch of lobotomized people that are equivalent to said monkeys.

APPEARANCE:

I hate the way everything looks in Elfen Lied, especially the character designs. Since EL is extremely violent and pornographic, the fact that the characters look like they were plucked right out of Love Hina or Chobits (they have a “cute” look) will make any rational person grasp their skulls with both hands and groan continuously out of anger. In and of themselves, the overbearing saccharine appearance of those girls with their freakishly big eyes makes me want to vomit my guts out. Mixing “cute” with gratuitous violence and nudity is like using battery acid as a condiment for the Classic Italian sandwich at Quiznos. Yeah, it's different, but it doesn't mean it's good. The animation and artwork looks like it was made with digital imaging and animation programs, giving it a really stale look (like all other anime nowadays). So not even the artwork and animation has any charm to it. I really hate the Diclonius designs since they're basically the stereotypical “catgirl” thing infesting anime nowadays.

VIOLENCE, NUDITY, AND INCEST:

None of the above things offend me whatsoever since I'm not a stranger to either. However, these things look like they were shoved in EL to attract fickle anime fans (which it unfortunately has) and to offend anyone who is a “prude.” These also aren't really that offensive taken by themselves since they're used so numerously that they no longer have any provocative value to them after about 20 minutes of exposure. For those of you who are claiming that the constant use of these three things is somehow “extreme,” go watch Doomed Megalopolis for an excellent horror anime that utilized violence, nudity, and incest to make the overall experience unnerving rather than tedious.

SOUNDTRACK:

It's time to focus on the most overrated anime song ever, “Lilium.” Everyone thinks this is such a strong and emotional song, but it's a joke. It's nothing more than extremely boring symphonic music with female vocals and Latin lyrics to make Elfen Lied look “deep” and “artistic.” Take a look at Kenji Kawai's dark ambient tracks found on the first Ghost in the Shell soundtrack for truly chilling and emotional anime music. Also, this type of music fits NOWHERE in this Love Hina-style dramedy guised as Hostel. I want to find the music crew responsible for composing this junk and beat them for creating such a loathsome song that every anime n00b is fellating until their teeth rot away. Not only does “Lilium” have such a non-existent effect on me, these monkeys with Microsoft Word thought it would be great to put a freakin' J-pop song at the end of each episode, which further nullifies any provocative effect the over abundant violence and nudity might have had in this POS.

SYMBOLISM:

When symbolism is incorporated into a movie or series properly, it enhances the viewing experience. With EL, however, the symbolism is carelessly thrown in to make it look “deep” and “intellectual.” For one, the clock symbol in EL didn't do anything to make this any better. “Oh look, the broken clock represents Kohta's broken past and at the end it's fixed, and so is he!! How genius!!” Give me a break. While not really symbolism, I find the use of German names in the series's name and of the names of the episodes to be loathsomely pretentious, and I don't care that this is named after a German poem.

ABUSE OF GUSTAV KLIMT'S ARTWORK:

The use of Gustav Klimt's paintings on the opening credits is more examples of self-awarding pretentiousness since Klimt's artwork is splendid and when saccharine-looking anime girls are thrown into his paintings, it's a severe clash in artistic styles and looks just plain silly. If Klimt was alive to see this happen, he'd be highly revolted by this bastardization. While the more snobby Elfen Sheep will automatically praise this move on behalf of the anime simply for referencing a 20th century painter, it's just one of the many, many fronts used to cover up the ultimate lack of coherent plot structure, lack of interesting characters, lacking a consistent message, and lack of an ending that ties up at least some of the loose ends. You know, the qualities that really matter when making any sort of show or movie. Contrary to what the Elfen Lied fans convince themselves to think, referencing 20th century painters isn't enough to make anything good. You need those basic principles I mentioned above because those are universal in making any movie or TV show worthwhile. Without those, you can reference Gustav Klimt and old German poems all you want and it won't change the fact that the final product is a horribly, horribly jumbled mess. This is like trying to make a giant pile of elephant excrement appetizing by covering it with butter cream frosting, sprinkles, and candles then selling it to an unsuspecting customer as a birthday cake.

SUMMARY:

Elfen Lied can be seen in several abhorent ways. It can be seen as an anime that wants to have its cake and eat it too. It wants to be seen as “deep” and “smart” but at the same time wants to appeal to a bunch of hair-brained anime fans who can't get enough of harem comedy anime. It also somehow achieved the impossible by appealing to every anime-interested demographic out there, which wouldn't happen in a rational-thinking world. It's like the writers said to their staff “Hey, let's make an anime that absolutely loathsome but will include every anime cliché and fetish that will draw in the furries, perverts, action fans, slasher fans, and harem fans!! This will catch like wildfire!!” Sadly, it has done just that. I can't find any newer anime fan who hasn't heard of this abomination. Lynn Okamoto (original author) and Mamoru Kanbe (made the anime) are some of the worst scum on the planet for making Elfen Lied. They come off as horribly, horribly self-indulgent people who roll around in their own filth and because they think they created something “unique” and “deep,” they're immune to any sort of criticism. They aren't immune to criticism and the more they receive, the better.

FINAL WORD:

For those who haven't seen it and will heed my advice and those who previously liked it and had “second thoughts” after reading my review, kudos to you; it shows that people can still think properly. I'll stick to MUCH, MUCH superior anime like Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Armitage III (OVA), Paprika, Perfect Blue, Neo Tokyo, Memories, Doomed Megalopolis, and AD Police (original OVA) for adult anime that actually functions properly. Finally, if I get a terminal disease, I'll spend my remaining days on Earth finding Lynn Okamoto and Mamoru Kanbe and horribly quelling their lives with a variety of heavy mining equipment and heavy duty power tools which would make the fate of DJ in Event Horizon look like child's play in comparison.
I no longer fear death because I saw this.

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More Elfen Lied reviews
review by . September 11, 2011
posted in ASIANatomy
A naked girl who was bound in shackles begins her breakout of a facility. During her escape, many people who are mainly made up of armed guards are viciously slaughtered. When the girl makes it out of the place, she's heavily grazed across the head by sniper fire. She falls into the ocean and turns up at a nearby beach. Two college students also cousins, Kouta and Yuka, notice that the girl isn't only naked, but she also has small horns on the side of her head. They take …
Quick Tip by . December 31, 2011
posted in ASIANatomy
Simply put, this is the worst anime I've ever seen, scratch that, the worst piece of celluloid ever made. It does everything wrong, whether it be the cliche characters, self-contractictory messages, gaping plotholes, clashing art styles, clashing music scores, tonal whiplash, and terrible storytelling. The fact that this detestable piece of shit is hailed as a masterpiece by so many anime fans makes me sick to the point of regurgitating my giblets.
review by . February 05, 2010
posted in ASIANatomy
No, cousin, I don't want to fondle your breast.
That pretty much sums up my feelings for this show right there. Elfen Lied, despite what so many sappy, shallow people would tell you, is nowhere NEAR a masterpiece; I wouldn't even go so far as to call it good. It is, for all intents and purposes, a woefully inadequate attempt at a drama which falls far short of tragedy greats in anime such as “Grave of the Fireflies”, “Kino's Journey”, “Now and Then, Here and There”, and yes Neon Geneses Evangelion. It is an …
About the reviewer
David Kozak ()
Ranked #16
I'm a morbid cynic who thinks very, very differently from most other people. Chances are, if the majority says X is the greatest in its category, I'll disagree with that notion, because I tend … more
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Wiki

In the not-too-distant future, a crop of humans emerge with extremely powerful mutations, lending them telekinetic abilities. Fearing the power that these new people possess, the government institutionalizes them at early ages or even birth, calling them dicloniuses. In these facilities, dicloniuses are cruelly experimented on until the day that they are executed. One diclonius, however, escapes. A young woman named Lucy, mired in hatred and rage from years of abuse, breaks free from the numerous forms of restraint placed on the facility and, killing some guards in the process, flees into the night. Lucy experiences some kind of psychological break during her escape, however, and when she is found, unconscious by Kouta and his cousin Yuka, her personality has split. Lucy's wrath is sectioned off into her existing personality, but another persona emerges in her that is innocent, gentle and so childlike that she even lacks the ability to speak. Kouta and Yuka call this sweet girl Nyu and decide to take her in. Eventually, other dicloniuses also find their way to the haven of their house, seeking refuge from the government. Elfen Lied deals with the issue of human evolution but more strongly focuses on matters of trauma, identity, and compassion, begging the question of what kind of happiness Lucy/Nyu and all those with painful pasts can hope for. ~ Cammila Albertson, All Movie Guide Close
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