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LUNCHER PROFILE Vol. 1: Lunch.com's Resident Waffle-Hating and Skunk Spray-Loving Weirdo!

  • Dec 20, 2009
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Around July of 2008, I met someone who called himself “Count Orlok” over at amazon.com when I reviewed the movie “The Dark Knight”. We exchanged a lot of information and opinions about Nolan’s film and I could tell that I was conversing with one very intelligent reviewer. Ever since that day, Sean (I didn’t know his real name at the time) had occasionally dropped by to comment on some of my reviews as I also began to check on his own in the site. I became very intrigued with Count Orlok most especially his rare taste in film. I never had the infinite knowledge that he had when it came to the classic silent movies and me, being the curious dude that I am, decided to keep an eye on this reviewer.
He calls himself “Count Orlok” after the main character in the vampire film “NOSFERATU”.

Hell, I call myself “woopak” because one day the word just popped up in my head. We all have our reasons for making our screen names. I guess Sean (aka. Orlok) is really 300 years old and is just using the photo of a young normal man to better connect to you mere mortals. (I knew I should’ve warned my fellow immortals about this guy!). Anyway, Orlok has a great fondness for silent films which he developed from watching “Nosferatu”, “Metropolis” and Lon Chaney films. Woe be unto us that he developed a liking for film reviewing after amazon had asked him to review a recent purchase. His inner talent was awakened after that first review, and I have since been witness to his development as a real talented writer.
Sean usually says that he has this self-loathing (ha-ha) and at times, I can see that. I usually observe him as being critical of himself. One time, he told me; “I think my review was a little superfluous” and sometimes he would say “I should have done a better job with the review”. This is what makes this young man be as great a writer as he is; he likes questioning himself and is never satisfied with his final product. I once told him to never hold back and write from the heart; I never had an idea on just how much this young man was open to share and if you have seen his reviews; one can tell that he puts a lot of work into it--Sean is overflowing with ‘heart‘ when he writes his reviews.
I asked him what his goals were when he writes a film, book or music review and Sean says to share information that wasn’t readily available elsewhere, to be as analytical and opinionated without becoming too emotional, and the third reason being able to present a fresh take on the film itself. Reviewing to Sean means watching the film three times; to be as meticulous as he can with his review. He puts his reviews in a three step process: watching without expectations or preconceptions on what it would be, he pays extra care to the direction, script, acting and editing, and lastly, he does his research. Sean is even willing to do a fourth viewing if he feels it necessary. If you look at his reviews on “Schindler’s List” and his review of the graphic novel “Watchmen” one can tell that this is the work of a very meticulous individual that puts the utmost care in his writing. His essay on “Vampire Mythology” is a magnum opus, I told him that I was going to print that write up and sell it for $ 2.99 a copy to his “Orlokians”. With Sean’s reviews, one can get a better sense of understanding on the subject he is writing on.
This young man is very open to criticism and is never judgmental, which is what makes him a terrific writer. He often says that I am a great writer but truth be told I was never as great a writer as he is when I was his age. Much like me, he thinks not inside or outside the box, but he denies that there is a box. If you would like to know more about Sean, pay a visit to his profile. He asked me not to write this as a sentimental gesture but even asked me to be ruthless (personally I think he just didn't want to shed tears of joy LOL!). It’s hard to criticize and be ruthless to someone who puts so much hard work into his writings, I'd rather be ruthless when I need to be. Some capture their initial reaction in their reviews, some just ‘wing it’ much like I do, while other like Sean puts a lot of dedication to his writing.
Now to make a few jokes. If I can find a few flaws in Sean I would have to say that he is just so much fun to pick on. Call him names and such and he revels in them. I’ll let him describe himself in a nutshell:
My lucky numbers (though I wouldn't consider myself very lucky) are 3, 9, 11, 12, 13, 22, and 39.
The colors I like the most are black, purple, blue, and red.
I enjoy riding my bicycle in figure eights.
I'm prone to sarcasm.
I love saying absurd and pointless things just to see people's shocked reactions.
I do dance, but I don't like to admit it, and I don't dance like "normal" people.
I find it fun to throw people off in their preconceptions of me.
I enjoy the fragrance of skunk spray.
I love to eat raw lemons.
I have an intense dislike of waffles (ask me why, I dare you).
I believe that a mindfuck can be rather refreshing (sort of like a mental enema).
I say whatever I think and I'm told I think too much.
That's me in nutshell... Let me out!
Now I am willing to pay anyone to find out why he dislikes waffles and to post pictures of him in YouTube when you see him dance.

Look at Sean as a kid, he wanted to be like some sort of masked manhunter or something...LOL
Ok, I can’t finish this review without insulting Sean just one time…Orlok, you dance like a turtle with arthritis! Oh, and he’s a 300 year old monkey that escaped from a zoo!
this is not his actual photo....

This is the real Sean aka. Count Orlok: LOL

old-man-moonwalk.gif picture by mel120950

LUNCHER PROFILE Vol. 1: Lunch.com's Resident Waffle-Hating and Skunk Spray-Loving Weirdo!

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July 06, 2011
Very fun tribute!
August 26, 2010
Bwa ha! I gotta try and be around here more.
June 02, 2010
Another excellent review on another great reviewer WP, this one I will feature as well on the next go round. The Count sure does know what he is talking about, especially about vampires.
December 22, 2009
Fascinating review here Woopak! You & Sean have really set the standard for what biographical reviews on Lunch should aspire to be. This is a very entertaining, if not insightful review on an intriguing young man we've come to know as Orlok (AKA Sean) here on this site where reviewing almost anything is encouraged. This is a fantastic idea & I salute you for doing an exceptional job here. Thumbs up! I might write on review on a Luncher one day but there's just no telling....
December 22, 2009
I am very eager to see your own take (you are an exceptional writer yourself) and hope that everyone would do this. This is fun! You know there was a reason that I made that Lunch.com list...the people on that list is on my hit-list for reviews like this. You take care, bro. You have a very Happy Holidays! I'll catch ya before New Year's Eve!
December 20, 2009
We love ya, Sean--you can (ahem) "Count" on it.
December 20, 2009
LESBIAN ROBOT KUNG FU VAMPIRE KILLERS FROM SPACE huh? Sounds like Trashie's kind of flick.
December 21, 2009
mine too!

Ok, will someone do one for Queenie?
December 21, 2009
Only if I do one myself!
December 21, 2009
Yeah, Queenie, you should definitely review yourself. That would be rich!
December 22, 2009
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.
December 22, 2009
so....may I do the honors?
December 22, 2009
You may. I can't stand the smell of vanilla--it reminds me of getting an allergy to a roll-on deoderant. But that's more than anybody needs to know.
January 04, 2010
Right where I left 'em, on the site Scotty referred me to above.
January 05, 2010
I can't believe no one made it. It's a natural.
January 05, 2010
if I win the lottery, I'll make it...
January 08, 2010
A movie with that title could be made for your income tax refund.
December 20, 2009
LOL! That was priceless! I'm going to place a link to this on my profile right now. By the way, I got me some sweet dance moves.
December 20, 2009
I know you have some sweet dance moves...you are moon-walking at the bottom pic! LOL! Glad you dug, Sean, I'm off to see AVATAR review coming this afternoon...
December 20, 2009
But, alas, I don't moonwalk.
February 03, 2010
done. Thanks for letting me know.
July 03, 2011
how come your screenname is not searchable or clickable in the site?
July 03, 2011
How'd you type it?
July 03, 2011
search it Count_Orlok_22 or Count Orlok by content and members....check out my latest QT....
July 03, 2011
It shows under content, but since Lunch switched things around a bit, you have to search for members via their real names and not their screen names I think.
July 03, 2011
I show up...
July 03, 2011
Hmmm, don't know then. Maybe I'm just not popular what with being undead.
July 03, 2011
I'll ask Dev...or Sam... your screenname is not even 'clickable' as others when you search
July 03, 2011
How apt... I'm not clickable. LMAO!
July 03, 2011
you're a nut that's why. LOL!
July 03, 2011
I'm a freak. I'm not a nut. I'm allergic to legumes! :-P
July 03, 2011
July 03, 2011
Yo! Like, what, dude?
December 20, 2009
Haha, this is awesome, with a few jokes thrown in there! This is such an entertaining read!
December 20, 2009
Glad you liked, Sean. It is nowhere as compelling or as awesome as the one you did on me but I tried to make up for it with some cheap showmanship LOL!
December 20, 2009
Are you kidding?  This blows my write-up out of the water!  This is awesome and it's fun to read. 
December 21, 2009
Yours had more depth, I covered up my review's flaws with showmanship LOL! Besides, yours had an awesome discussion topic...me! LMAO
December 20, 2009
This review went from "awwwww" to LOL.  Great profile of Orlok, Woo!  I figured he had to watch each film at least a couple of times to write the kind of reviews that he writes, but 3 or 4 times?  That's passion and commitment.  And ruthless?  You can only be so ruthless to Orlok, and it seems like Woo can only get so ruthless ;P  By the way, you don't have to pay me to ask those questions; I'll do it for free!  Thanks for sharing, Woo :)
December 20, 2009
I know, Sean is one crazy dude. Orlok wouldn't let me write this one without insults. Since today's my first year anniversary in the site (wow, been in Lunch for a year now) and Orlok's the main guy who first invited me, thought it'd be great to post this today. Thanks for the read, Devora. Yeh, ask him why he hates waffles! LOL!
December 20, 2009
I'll never tell... unless I end up writing a book someday and then it might be fun to sneak it in there just as an in-joke.
More Count_Orlok_22 (Sean) on Lunch... reviews
Quick Tip by . July 03, 2011
A great writer but needs to change his Quick Tips into reviews since his tips are reviews masquerading as a Quick Tip. I think a "Waffle" is telling him to make QT's LOL!!
Quick Tip by . December 17, 2010
And all-around mensch. Great to swap tales with, and even greater to disagree with b/c he allows for you to have your own opinions, right or wrong. I challenge you to find a better bloodsucker in all of cyberspace.
Quick Tip by . December 17, 2010
I must've carelessly forgotten to review the Count. It's truly an understatement but the man is a wealth of knowledge on a variety of topics. Don't believe me. Just talk with him for a moment. He amazes me still to this day.
Quick Tip by . December 11, 2009
Sean is AWESOME and there isn't anyone else I would want to go on endless music trivia bouts with ;p He's always willing to help out anyone!
Quick Tip by . November 18, 2009
It's a vampire woodchuck!
This guy is a real jerk. I hate myself with a passion that borders on being wrathful. This topic should disappear into the ether as should the reviewer.   ; )   LOL!
Quick Tip by . November 27, 2009
The Other Sean is easily one of the most bitchin' members in the community! That's right, bitchin'!
Quick Tip by . November 18, 2009
Since Orlok hates himself, all we gotta do is love him! (so he can hate himself some more) LOL
About the reviewer
William ()
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About this writer


(from Sean's profile info)
Who am I?
My real name is Sean and I am an online cultural critic, who lives in Maine.
I'm a rather political and philosophical individual and I tend to be outspoken. I try to remain as independent as possible and avoid affiliating myself with any form of organized religion or politics. I am an atheist (albeit a spiritual one with some Buddhist ideologies), a "pro-life feminist", a communist (in the truest definition of the concept as laid down by Marx and Engels in 1848), a strict vegetarian and a supporter of animal rights. I have diverse tastes in media. I enjoy reading just about anything, writing short fiction, poetry, film & book & music reviews, listening to all kinds of music (particularly "old school punk", classic rock, hippie music, metal, rap, folk, and classical/opera) and watching films in general. I spend a lot of time at my local library, as both a patron and a volunteer. I also love to cook. I love to discuss politics, philosophy, sociology, and so on. I'm not very fond of people who formulate an opinion based upon another person's opinion. I am strongly against influence and celebrity and status. I don't believe in the class system and I loathe racial, sexual, and cultural profiling. So long as you're an open-minded and non-judgmental individual, then you're welcome here.

You can read all of my reviews here on Lunch.com, ...
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Birth Date: September 15, 1985
Birth Place: Maine
Gender: Male
Height: 5'10"

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