Pros: best quote: “Tell me where that giant piece of sushi is going!”
Cons: run time: 1 hour 31 minutes 35 seconds
The Bottom Line: "And I am a snake head eating The head on the opposite side" ~They Might Be Giants
I'm practically doing the Snoppy Dance after watching the horrible production of Sneakhead Terror. Directed by Paul Ziller and written by A. G. Lawrence & Patrick J. Vitale, don't bother getting your tux cleaned because you won't be attending any awards ceremonies. I should receive an award for just sitting through it. It was rated R for creature violence and gore.
The story: In a sleepy little village, somewhere [they mention the Potomac River at some point but apparently aren't actually ON it], we arrive in the aftermath of a devastating situation. For a village that depends on tourists flocking to their shores for fishing purposes, they were over run with a virulent school of Snakehead fish. It reached such epidemic portions, killing off all aquatic life, they had to resort to dumping some really nasty poison into the lake to get rid of those pesky Snakehead fish ... or so they thought.
Come on - have they never watched a movie before?
Anyway it is two years later with things starting to look like they might take a financial turn, and the attacks begin. The town mayor refuses to close down the lake - no surprise there - and the local sheriff is at his wits end and soon enlists the help of a perky little miss from the Department of Fresh Water Resources to help him find the answer to all the bodies, or parts of bodies, that are piling up.
Add his teenage daughter to the mix [his wife died two years before], a few horny, drinking teens, a deranged coroner and, a bumbling bait and tackle shop owner, we got fish on our hands and they are huge.
The actors: Bruce Boxleitner, apparently on reprieve from the insane asylum, decided to take on the part of the town sheriff. What can you say about someone that has been in the media in some form or another since 1973 except ... WTF were you thinking?
Chelan Simmons was daughter Amber and Carol Alt, Lori, from the Department of Fresh Water Resources. Chelan tried to enact the role of Sarah Connor from Terminator while Carol went for Laura Croft.
The snake: Seriously? A snake that walks on land? Granted, the snakehead fish can breath out of water, even teaches its young to survive out of water, but walk? Lori, the biologist from DFWR, told the sheriff the fish can survive on land for up to two hours and has fins strong enough to propel it along. However, the shots of the fish, and they were certainly plentiful, showed legs similar to a croc or alligator. I've never seen so many plastic fish in my life. Apparently the budget was too lowly for proper CGI. These things were simply horrible.
And they roared. A really lound, unsettling, roar.
Overall impression: This was offered by Artsy Fartsy Productions. That should say it all.
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Susi Dawson (SusiDee34)
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When a school of snakehead fish undergo a mutation that lets them survive on land, the predators go ashore in search of human flesh. As they begin to devour the residents of a small town--including the sheriff?s daughter--a group of survivors must take up arms against the vicious aquatic monsters.