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The Twilight Saga » Lists » You might be a Stephenie Meyer Vampire if.... (Twilight)
You might be a Stephenie Meyer Vampire if.... (Twilight)
-
Nov 23, 2009
- by TeamAWAC
- posted in The Twilight Saga
There's been a lot of confusion lately among the vampire community. Vampires are finding it difficult to ascertain what specific genre of vampire to be classified as. In order to help clear up some confusion, I've created this list. Best wishes to Jeff Foxworthy...
Note: If you're new to the Twilight mythology, please check out my Twilight Review.
Note: If you're new to the Twilight mythology, please check out my Twilight Review.
1
If you need to wear concealer in the daylight to hide your "Sparkly Complexion", you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
2
If the only way to quench your uncontrollable blood lust is to combat it with Baseball Fever, you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
3
If you prefer the styling and handling of european cars over the clunky old hearses of yester-year, you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
4
If Wolfman dander has got your allergies acting up, you just might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
5
You might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire if you're content with settling down with some nice venison and a movie rather than hunting down humans for their blood.
6
If you have the wisdom and knowledge of 700 years, but find the best way to pass the time is to hang out with kids in high school, you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
7
If caskets and mausoleums have been replaced with tasteful home furnishings from Pottery Barn, you just might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
8
If despite your unholy curse, your moral integrity still holds you to be true to your commitment to abstinence, you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
9
If you have the means to live anywhere in the world, but decide to hunker down in the Pacific Northwest, you might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
10
If you're 700 years old and you still live with your parents, you just might be a Stephenie Meyer vampire.
What did you think of this list?
Helpful
52
Thought-Provoking
51
Fun to Read
71
Well-Organized
45
Post a Comment
djevoke
January 10, 2011
This is hilarious! Great list, Andrew!
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vampire_eyez
August 20, 2010
don't forget if you lack fangs of any kind you are for sure a meyer vampire lol
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Esmeraude
May 21, 2010
Very funny! I think we *might* be able to summarize this with "If you don't look, behave or possess more than two traits commonly associated with vampires, you might be a Stephanie Meyer vampire." Oh dang, and I had thought i was over my annoyance with the whole Twilight phenomena!
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Count_Orlok_22
March 27, 2010
Priceless! This is one of the funniest lists I've read on the site so far.
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kevinism
November 24, 2009
Quite funny sir. You are a real class act.
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Husher315
November 24, 2009
This is HILARIOUS!!
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devora
November 23, 2009
Where's the gym membership and Muscle Milk? You know those Stephanie Meyer vampires don't run around topless without it! :P
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trailblazer
November 23, 2009
Add a Debussy CD and some Tide to get out the dirt and blood stains, and you've got it nailed.
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woopak_the_thrill
November 23, 2009
LOL! excellent comedic list to make fun of Meyer's TWILIGHT! Love it!
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Sean_Rhodes
November 23, 2009
This is a really awesome list! And really clever. I love this!
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About the list creator
Andrew (TeamAWAC)
I'm a technology early adopter. I thoroughly enjoy geeking out with the latest hardware, software and electronics. I probably have as much fun setting up, tweaking, and configuring systems as I do actually … more
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