A Quick Tip by katknit

As a former teacher and as a parent I have witnessed bullying. My rule, in both roles, was zero tolerance, meaning no physical dominance and no name calling. In the school setting no physical dominance meant no physical contact, as much as a teacher can control that. However I saw teachers and guidance counselors accept both pushing and name calling as fooling around. I have heard teachers talk about eighth graders pushing each other in the hall as normal, everyday behavior and as a sign that the "new kid" was fitting in. I reacted strongly to this from my own personal conviction of zero tolerance and stated that it should not be allowed.
In relation to name calling a friend told me about her child's experience with name calling at middle school. My friend engaged in conversation with both the guidance counselors and the teachers who felt that the middle school student didn't seem to mind as the student laughed in reply. In conversations with my friend I became aware of how upsetting it was to the child, not because there were tears, but because there were long discussions with questions about the meaning of the insulting terms used and confusion as to why. After contact with the school got no results, my friend called the parents of the tormentors,and asked them to talk to their child about his group's behavior, which they did, stating that although their child had not done it he had witnessed his friends doing it. This parent called the other parents to alert them to the actions of the group. After that I think that things seemed to improve, as my friend no longer consulted with me.
I watched Anderson Cooper's special on bullying the other night. All the students and professionals referred to similar stories and worse. We as community members must expect respectful behavior from our own families, and we must expect it to be taught and expected in our schools, both by students and by teachers.