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The deep sea anglerfish is one of the most bizarre-looking fish in the sea. The fish uses an appendage above its head as a lure for prey. It also reproduces by biting into a female, thereby fusing their blood vessels and becoming one. So basically when girlfriend is ready to do the nasty, she's already got her man! And up to five others if she wants!...that's awesome...
The blobfish inhabits the deep waters off the coasts of Australia and Tasmania. It's rarely seen by humans (thank goodness!) since they're found at depths where the pressure is several dozens of times higher than at sea level. But look at that face--he was so bummed the world didn't end on May 21st, 2011. Good thing it's been rescheduled!
This little fella, also known as the sand puppy or desert mole rat, is a burrowing rodent native to parts of East Africa. They can move backwards as fast as they move forwards (dance lessons anyone?). But seriously, It just needs to get a Groupon at a nice spa and it'll look as good as new!
AHHHH!!!
Aye-aye caramba! The Madagascar native is the world's largest nocturnal primate, and dwells predominantly in forest canopies. Not surprisingly, the Malagasy people consider it to be a harbinger of death and misfortune (just look at it!). Although you have to agree it's got that kind of face that makes you think it would laugh hysterically at a joke.
So how many legs does it take to scare you into a coma? SPIDER CRAB LEGS MANY!! It has the largest leg span of any arthropod, reaching up to almost 13 ft. and weighing up to 41 lbs. They can live up to 100 years. That's right, they live long enough to give you, your kids, and your grandkids nightmares!
OH NOOOOOOOS, what happened to you turtle? You don't look like the nice little pets I used to buy from Chinese vendors downtown for $5 (which included your nice little plastic home with pebbles and all). The mata mata is a freshwater turtle found in South America. Oh, and "mata mata" means "kill kill" in Spanish. Exactly.
Aww, look how delightfully frightened it looks...NOT! That's the stare of death before it pounces, rips your head off and starts gnawing on your dead carcass. Fortunately for you, all you have to do is pet it for a while and it'll perish within months. Yup, its kryptonite is good ol' TLC: tender love and CARESSING.
Hm, I can totally think of another part of the body as a name for this mole...The star-nosed mole is a mole found in eastern Canada and the north-eastern United States. Fun fact! It's the world's fastest eater The mole's sensory system is so highly calibrated, it can determine whether an encountered object is edible in as little as as 8 milliseconds–the limit of brain neuron speed. The entire process of identifying and consuming a tasty morsel can take as little as 120 milliseconds. I think we've got a Hot-Dog Eating champion in the making here!
Yes, I know what you're thinking--Johnny Depp would be the perfect voice-over for Disney's new film featuring the monkfish! He's already played a Wild West lizard, so he's totally qualified. There's not much to say about this guy other than it inspired the story of a sea monster called the sea monk because some idiots thought it looked like a monk centuries ago.
What a wise-looking kitty! Despite its wrinkly-skinned exterior with laser beam eyes carrying the intent to maul your face to kingdom come, it's actually quite the affectionate companion (although it's probably because they're always freezing their asses off what with having no fur and all).
Okay, I'm pretty sure I saw that in Alien. These creatures are a prime example of deep sea gigantism. They're related to the woodlouse and pillbug, neither of which are particularly harmful, so it's safe to assume that the giant isopod isn't either, right? HA HA HA Ha ha ha ha ha....
WOW. It's got devil flame eyes and a freakishly large mouth. The giant leaf-tailed gecko is endemic to Madagascar and makes good use of their body as camouflage. It can detach its tail if caught in an altercation and grow a brand-spanking new one. Oh and if you disturb it while it's resting on a tree, it'll scream...(o.O)
Oh it's a devil all right. This caterpillar might be a leaf-eater, but give it one questionable glance and it'll turn you into yesterday's news. See how its little arms are ready to box the bejeezus out of anyone brave enough to go up against it!
So I know this face isn't a stranger to anyone (just close your eyes at night and it'll appear instantly!), but it deserves a spot in this list for the terror it strikes in hearts everywhere. Though as menacing as it appears, the female carries its young (all bazillion of them) on its abdomen, so no one could accuse them of child neglect!
