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27 Most Ridiculous Japanese Inventions!

  • Jun 17, 2011
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Chindōgu (珍道具) is the Japanese art of inventing ingenious everyday gadgets that, on the face of it, seem like an ideal solution to a particular problem. However, chindōgu has a distinctive feature: anyone actually attempting to use one of these inventions would find that it causes so many new problems, or such significant social embarrassment, that effectively it has no utility whatsoever. Thus, chindōgu are sometimes described as "unuseless"–that is, they cannot be regarded as 'useless' in an absolute sense, since they do actually solve a problem; however, in practical terms, they cannot positively be called "useful."

Thanks Wikipedia. So there you have it; those clever Japanese are smart AND have a sense of humor!
Subway Chin Rest

Why use a tripod to stabilize your camera when you can use it to stabilize your head? Didn't you know all your ugly, blurry photos are a result of your obnoxiously big, shaky head?
Umbrella Tie

Look at that serious face. This is absolutely more utilitarian than it is humorous. Obviously.
Chopsticks Cooling Fan
Psh, forget the chopsticks. I wanna put that fan on my belt over my rear end after my daily burrito (with lots of beans).
Eyedrop Funnels
Who needs desperately willing interns to experiment on when you can do it all yourself...ON yourself!
10-in-1 Gardening Tool
This is like a scene right out of "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!" Now if we can just get Martha Stewart to endorse it...
Anti-Rape/Mugging Transforming Suit

Okay...but how easy is it to turn it back into a skirt because I'm way more concerned about running for my life in my undies than being chased by a mugger. And considering how often vending machines are abusively fondled these days...
Shoe Rain Protectors
Yes! We can once again wear white after Labor Day! In fact, Vogue just declared these the new, chic way to express the functionality of your ensemble without sacrificing fashion! (and you know Anna Wintour's word is God's word).
High Heel Wheels
These are a godsend! Now it'll be easier to feign tripping in front of that hunk at the grocery store so he can catch me as I plummet! A highly recommended gift for the "Heathers" of today and Justin Timberlake fanboys.
Ever-ready Tissues

This is the weapon of choice as you sit by yourself in the cafeteria, at the ready to fire spitballs at those that dare cross you enjoying your 5lb gummy bear for lunch.
Duster Slippers for Cats/Baby Duster Clothing

What more could parents want from the bane of their existence (or is it love of their life?). I foresee competitors coming out with clothes that will restore your integrity (and beautiful wood floor shine) as your baby/cat gets to work.
Personal Rain Saver
Oh I'm already thinking ahead. Pigeon stool saver!
Fresh Air Mask
So...can I put Ken Jennings in that bag and breathe in his IQ?
Marriage Hunting Bra

 So how will others know how long you plan on waiting till you tie the knot without plastering it on your forehead? PLASTER IT ON YOUR CHEST! Yes, it's never been easier to plan ahead for that special day when your partner can insert his/her ring into your bra and be officially married to the worst human being on earth.
Daddy Nurser
These supple pair of milk cans aren't carrying nearly half as much of milk as they should. Double D's please!
Lipstick Stencil Mask
The prayers of drag queens from all over have finally been answered! Let's face it, men are just not built to put on lipstick properly (they lack the essential clownfacemaker gene), but with this stencil mask, anyone can be a pro at slathering a crust of hot pink onto their lips! Fun fact: inspiration for this came directly from Hannibal Lecter.
Food Hair Protector
Girlfriend's not selling it right. PUT THOSE LOCKS BEHIND YOUR BACK! And where is your chopstick cooling fan???
Kneeling Toilet Stand
Look how happy he is to not be spraying all over the toilet! No more divorce!
Fake Hand Toothpick Cover
This is such a momentous step forward for one-handed handicapped citizens. No more excuses for not covering you mouth as you unsuccessfully attempt to clean the remains of that half-masticated cow between your teeth anymore!
Subway Sleeping Hat
Finally, a cure for all those greasy-headed strangers who ALWAYS doze off on YOUR shoulder. Now they just need to take it a step further and create shoulder pads with spikes.
Umbrella Tube
Talk about being selfish. And what's a guy to do when he wants to put the moves on you all smooth-like, slipping under, and saying, "You must've broken up with Jesus; his tears are raining down hard."
Men's Brassiere

 That's about the hottest piece of lingerie a man could possibly wear. And just imagine how much better life is going to be for those afflicted with massive man boobs. Just the thought warms my heart.
Boyfriend Arm Pillow/Lap Pillow

Aww, like father, like son. Mind you, I have a boyfriend arm pillow myself and he has been the most faithful, cuddly companion anyone could ask for. And shame on you for not having already purchased a dozen for all of your favorite children.
Placenta 10000
Yes, you'd think they were selling Dragon Ball recovery drinks, but, sadly, it's just pig placenta in jelly form.
Talk about a double whammy! These will go perfectly with your kids' lunchbox  food: sangria-marinated apples and peanut butter and jelly kahlua nutella sandwich.
Ear Cleaner with Built-in Video Camera
Who knows what crawls up your disgusting ear canal these days. That's why our species created this nifty device. I smell a viral YouTube video!
Urinal Elephant
Sooooo cuuuuuuuute! AND it cleans your pubic hair-infested urinals. Bravo.
Solar-Powered Lighter
Okay, this is just dangerous. That could be my finger roasting on that thing. Or my arch-nemesis' finger...

What did you think of this list?

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June 28, 2011
What a hilarious list!Thinking out of the box is the way to go, hehe! Oh, whoever needs #16 has to be sent to the Middle East to be trained for food etiquette! Have you ever seen some Muslim eating Satay (skewered meat) directly from the stick with her face fully veiled?! That was an unforgettable sight!
June 28, 2011
Hah, that's interesting, I didn't realize they had to eat while still covering their face.
June 29, 2011
Yes, they do eat in restaurants and it's like a circus to me! I've only seen it once in Kashgar when we were at a restaurant where the locals frequent. I know they don't veil themselves in Indonesia or Malaysia when eating but I'm sure they do so in some Middle East countries!
June 28, 2011
Ok solar powered lIghter is Badass
June 28, 2011
I know! I don't smoke, but I would totally carry it with me to look cool, hah.
June 28, 2011
I dont smoke either. Id just light things on fire cause im a Pyro maniac. Im suprised i havent burnt down my house yet. Ive always been obsessed with fire since i was a kid.
June 27, 2011
nice list....though I could see # 24 being useful when we consider the Monsoon rainy season there...and 21 is advisable for Frank Costanza and those with man-boobs. "The Bro" and the Manziere LOL love that episode!
June 28, 2011
Yeah, seriously, a lot of these inventions really are awesome and provide high utilitarian value. Like when a good friend gets dumped and you need to cheer them up, so you buy them a boyfriend arm pillow.
June 27, 2011
...Seriously??? This is hilarious. The pig placenta sounds gross, but that booze infused food sounds kind of delicious :P As for the subway sleeping aids, isn't frotteurism a huge problem in Japanese subways??? Awesome list, Tu!
June 28, 2011
Hah, thanks! Yeah, that is a major problem for subway patrons, BUT, if it became a trendy thing to use these sleeping aids...lol.
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