Sign Up | Log In
content
content
members
Create
- Write a Review
- Post a Quick Tip
- Create a List
- Ask a Question
- Create a Poll
- Create a Community
Why use a tripod to stabilize your camera when you can use it to stabilize your head? Didn't you know all your ugly, blurry photos are a result of your obnoxiously big, shaky head?
Look at that serious face. This is absolutely more utilitarian than it is humorous. Obviously.
Psh, forget the chopsticks. I wanna put that fan on my belt over my rear end after my daily burrito (with lots of beans).
Who needs desperately willing interns to experiment on when you can do it all yourself...ON yourself!
This is like a scene right out of "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!" Now if we can just get Martha Stewart to endorse it...
Yes! We can once again wear white after Labor Day! In fact, Vogue just declared these the new, chic way to express the functionality of your ensemble without sacrificing fashion! (and you know Anna Wintour's word is God's word).
These are a godsend! Now it'll be easier to feign tripping in front of that hunk at the grocery store so he can catch me as I plummet! A highly recommended gift for the "Heathers" of today and Justin Timberlake fanboys.
This is the weapon of choice as you sit by yourself in the cafeteria, at the ready to fire spitballs at those that dare cross you enjoying your 5lb gummy bear for lunch.
Oh I'm already thinking ahead. Pigeon stool saver!
So...can I put Ken Jennings in that bag and breathe in his IQ?
These supple pair of milk cans aren't carrying nearly half as much of milk as they should. Double D's please!
The prayers of drag queens from all over have finally been answered! Let's face it, men are just not built to put on lipstick properly (they lack the essential clownfacemaker gene), but with this stencil mask, anyone can be a pro at slathering a crust of hot pink onto their lips! Fun fact: inspiration for this came directly from Hannibal Lecter.
Girlfriend's not selling it right. PUT THOSE LOCKS BEHIND YOUR BACK! And where is your chopstick cooling fan???
Look how happy he is to not be spraying all over the toilet! No more divorce!
This is such a momentous step forward for one-handed handicapped citizens. No more excuses for not covering you mouth as you unsuccessfully attempt to clean the remains of that half-masticated cow between your teeth anymore!
Finally, a cure for all those greasy-headed strangers who ALWAYS doze off on YOUR shoulder. Now they just need to take it a step further and create shoulder pads with spikes.
Talk about being selfish. And what's a guy to do when he wants to put the moves on you all smooth-like, slipping under, and saying, "You must've broken up with Jesus; his tears are raining down hard."
Yes, you'd think they were selling Dragon Ball recovery drinks, but, sadly, it's just pig placenta in jelly form.
Talk about a double whammy! These will go perfectly with your kids' lunchbox food: sangria-marinated apples and peanut butter and jelly kahlua nutella sandwich.
Who knows what crawls up your disgusting ear canal these days. That's why our species created this nifty device. I smell a viral YouTube video!
Sooooo cuuuuuuuute! AND it cleans your pubic hair-infested urinals. Bravo.
Okay, this is just dangerous. That could be my finger roasting on that thing. Or my arch-nemesis' finger...
